Ready To Fall
by Priseya Lane
Summary: They both love each other, then how come they're not together? Instead, Mikan walks out on Natsume, which leaves him cold and empty. When would they ever be ready to fall? There are worries, jealousy and definitely love... Finally COMPLETED!
1. She's Out Of My Life

**Ready To Fall**

* * *

_**Disclaimer:** I do not own Alice Academy, and I certainly did not create it. But I respect and adore those who did. Also, I do not own the songs found in the entire story. If you want to know where it is from, the titles and singers are written at the bottom of the verses._

_**Author's Notes: **This is my first ever fan fiction, so go easy on the reviews, guys. But I would really appreciate if you leave some comments on what I have written so far. Good or bad, I won't take it personally. I promise to take it as something that would help me improve my art._

_'Ready to fall' is a song by Meredith Edwards. It was actually used as a soundtrack in the movie 'On The Line.' I'm not stealing this song from them. It just so happen that this song fits my story very well (at least that's what I think). Plus, I have a habit of using songs as an inspiration. Also, you would find that the chapter titles are actual songs. Again, so not because of having no originality. The idea is to give you an overview of each chapter through the verses quoted at each start._

_Five years have passed since Mikan first set foot on Alice Academy. It has been five years since she first saw the boy who they call as the Black Cat. He was then trying, every chance he gets, to escape the Academy. No one could seem to stop him from trying, except for Mikan – the girl who has his favorite tree for a surname. _

_So five years, and Natsume is still in the Academy. But things changed since then. They really did. He did not only witness change around him, but he experienced it in him. And it's constantly surprising him._

_Okay, okay, enough with my blabber… Here it is. Ready To Fall._

**

* * *

Chapter 1: She's out of my life **

**----- # -----**

_She's out of my life. She's out of my life_

_And I don't know whether to laugh or cry_

_I don't know whether to live or die_

_And it cuts like a knife_

_She's out of my life_

_-'She's out of my life' by Michael Jackson-_

----- # -----

* * *

Everything is very quiet in the Alice Academy. 

At this time of night, students and faculty alike would be in their own rooms either in deep slumber, trying to prepare for the next day's lessons or doing their nightly routines. No one is expected to be wandering outside the dormitory buildings.

Just like Hotaru. She is in her room doing some final tweaking for her latest invention. On her bed, Ruka and his rabbit are comfortably sitting while reading a magazine about cars. Occasionally, he calls her attention and share to her ideas for her next inventions. If this was four months ago, Ruka could probably make Hotaru throw him out of her room just by opening his mouth. But within those months, she got accustomed to his presence. She even finds it comforting.

Iinchou is also in his own room fussing about their next lesson in chemistry about atoms and molecules. He secured a canister of coffee before he resigned to go upstairs. He's probably the only one from their class doing this.

This is proven by Mochu, who's soundly asleep in his own bed, dreaming of a date with Anna.

Anna, however, is dreaming of something else – a food festival. She's now in her fantasy of whipping the best food recipe that would knock the judges out of this world with just one taste.

Nonoko, who's in the room next to hers, is lying on her bed and staring at the ceiling. She has been thinking of what Kokoro might be doing at this hour. Is he sleeping? What would he be dreaming about? Could she be in it?

Oblivious to her, Kokoro is having a hard time sleeping, because someone from the other room is pacing and thinking out loud. Even without his Mind-Reading Alice, he could hear the person next door. It would have been bearable if they are thoughts.

Five rooms from Kokoro, just down the hall, Sumire is still not done with her regimen. She's applying stuff to her face to keep it smooth and spotless. This is very important before she goes into her nice beauty rest.

In the Northern Forest, the little brown stuffed toy known as Mr. Bear would be resting in his cabin, soothed by the burning wood in the fireplace – which he chopped as part of his everyday routine – with a cup of tea by the table beside his recliner. Sitting by the fire, it reminds him of his master. When Andou Tsubasa, his master's bestfriend, graduated almost a year ago, the shadow manipulator left him at the custody of a certain brunette and her close friends. They have all been nice to him, but still he misses the warmth he receives from his master's hug.

Somewhere between the Middle School Dormitory and School Building, a certain Sakura tree is also missing the warmth it receives almost every night. It misses the nights full of exchanged stories between two certain students, who have made it a habit to meet under it after dinner time. It was not all it heard. Yes, it heard arguments and even silence. But not the barren silence it hears now. It used to be always full of warmth and comfort, but tonight it is empty and quiet. It's lonely. It's cold.

Cold. That's exactly what the boy standing under the tree feels. He feels cold, but it has nothing to do with the breeze of the evening air blowing his raven hair to his face. The coldness comes from deep within, and it's so strong that he could sense himself tremble.

Empty. He has never felt emptiness for more than five years now. There's always that something – someone – who fills those blanks in his life. He has known what it feels like to be happy, really happy. Now, after five years, it feels like it's slipping away again from his hands. The happiness that he was starting to get use to has all of a sudden been replaced with condemn and hatred.

Condemn and hatred. She has never looked at him with condemn and so much hatred. It's old news that they fight. They fight like their day won't be complete without an argument. But she never gave him that look. Her eyes has reflected a lot of things – of emotions, mostly happiness – but never condemn and hatred. He never believed it possible until fifteen minutes ago, when he not only witness it, but has received it.

And he knows he would never forget it.

"I thought you never want to talk to me again?" He asked when the owner of those eyes met him under the tree.

He didn't expect her to be there tonight. He thought for sure, after their encounter that afternoon, she would not come. But she did. He knew she probably came to try to patch things up. She never could stay away, even after they fight.

But the night did not go well.

"From now on, stay away from me, Natsume," he remembers her saying. She did not yell. He would have preferred for her to yell. He was used to that. But instead, she said it in a calm tone – the kind that throws shards of ice to the person spoken to. "Don't pretend like you care at all. I'm tired and I've had enough."

No tears. She did not cry when she turned her back and walk away.

She has walked away from him before, but she always came back. She insisted of not giving up on him, no matter how he tried to push her away. Tonight, however, he knows. He knows that she would not come back. He really did it this time. He lost her. He lost her even if he was not trying to. He lost his warmth. He feels like his flame is dying out.

And now it's cold and empty.

* * *


	2. Sunshine

**Ready To Fall

* * *

**

Chapter 2: Sunshine

----- # -----

_Sometimes it's hard when rain's pouring on_

_I used to worry what tomorrow would bring_

_Then you came along, changed my world around_

_Gave me something to believe in when I'm upside down_

_-'Sunshine' by S Club7-_

----- # -----

**

* * *

Three months, one week and two days before that cold and empty night….**

An ordinary school day in Alice Academy.

Students of different levels were rushing in the corridors to get to their classes. Some were gossiping as they take the stairs. Some boys were on one corner, laughing on the newest jokes of their buddy. Some girls were hanging outside the classroom of their crushes hoping to capture their attention.

On her way to the classroom, Mikan actually bumped on one of these girls accidentally. She was certain that those girls are members of Natsume-Ruka Fans Club, which Sumire used to head.

Sumire gave up her position many years ago. "It's called growing up," was how she put it, back then. She figured she could not forever go after some boys who do not appreciate her enough – or appreciate her at all.

Mikan apologized casually to the girl – probably the new president. She's so used to bumping into them every morning that each party does not make a big deal out of it anymore.

"Good morning," she greeted everyone from her class following it with a sigh.

"What's wrong, Mikan?" Iinchou asked concerned.

Five years and Yuu Tobita is still class representative. Sometimes, Mikan wonders if their class is really impressed with Iinchou's performance or they were just lazy to nominate someone else. Looking at the blonde boy with his glasses, Mikan believe it's the former. Iinchou has always been excellent for their class.

Mikan first let out a sigh before answering, "I dreamed of my grandfather last night."

"I see," Iinchou nodded understandingly. "You miss him."

"Yeah,"

"Don't worry, Mikan," Iinchou cheered. "I'm sure he's alright."

"I hope so,"

Hotaru who has been quietly listening to the conversation said, "Just think that your grandpa will not be happy to hear that you're spending your morning being depressed because of him."

Mikan looked at Hotaru. Her bestfriend has a point. Her grandfather would like her to face each day with a smile. But she couldn't stop herself from missing him. After all, it has been a while since she heard from him.

------------------------- ----- -------------------------

From the other end of the room, oblivious to Mikan and the rest of the class, one raven-haired boy has been listening intently to the conversation, although he hid it by pretending to be reading his manga quietly.

------------------------- ----- -------------------------

"Why is the baby goat always looking at the ground when he's with the mother goat?" Kokoro has been telling jokes to their group around the table ever since lunch started.

"Why?" Nonoko replied still giggling, like the others, from his previous joke.

"He's so ashamed because his mother has a goatee!"

Everyone burst out laughing. Even Hotaru, who used to be impassive, was chuckling heartily.

"Did you pick that up through your mind-reading?" Natsume, who couldn't hide a chortle, asked from the end of the table.

Kokoro didn't seem to take this personally. "Mind-reading could be quite useful, don't you think?"

Natsume and Kokoro laughed in duet.

This is one of the changes that Natsume experienced in him for the past five years. He now participate more in conversations. He's no longer as dark as he used to be. And it's all because of the encouragement of a certain brunette who's quietly laughing beside him.

All those years, she tried her best to include him in conversations within the group. She forced him to open up, and he let her – but only to some extent. He's still a loner, if Mikan is not around.

Then, she sighed.

Their friends didn't notice it, but Natsume surely caught it.

Mikan felt him watching her, so she looked at him to confirm. She gave him a smile but it did not reach her eyes.

Natsume knew her well enough to discern that she's still depressed because of her grandfather, but she tried to hide it from their friends.

She could fool them, but not Natsume.

------------------------- ----- -------------------------

"I thought you'll never come," It was Mikan's welcome when Natsume arrived to meet her under the Sakura tree after dinner.

Winter was starting to take its toll. So Natsume made sure that he's wearing a coat to protect himself from the cold wind. In fact, on his way, he has been hoping that Mikan remembered to wear a coat herself.

Seeing her made him glad. She did remember.

"I didn't see you at dinner tonight," she uttered when he sat beside her silently.

"I had to do something," he replied casually.

She cocked an eyebrow, "But did you eat something? Or did you starve yourself?"

Natsume almost smiled. That's Mikan. Always worried about his health. Fussing like she is his mother.

"Natsume?" she asked suspiciously when he didn't reply.

"I did," he chuckled. "I ate before I left."

"Good," she nodded in approval, and then crossed her arms across her chest.

"Wait a minute," he knew there's more. "Where did you go anyway?"

He sighed, "Well, if you must know, I passed by Central Town and got this."

He handed her a familiar box of candy, which she loves very much.

He remembered what she went through to get a first taste of those heavenly candies. She had to do a skit with the help of their friends to raise money. He thought then it was a stupid thing to do for a box of candies, and then just gave the rest of it to them after all the effort. Well, that's what makes Mikan different from the rest. That's what makes her special – especially to him.

Mikan put out a big smile as she received the box he handed.

He was watching her examine the box and finally open it. Her eyes widened like it was a box of treasure that she opened and not candies.

"Why are you giving me fluff puffs, Natsume?"

"I figured you can use some cheering up,"

Mikan nodded understandingly.

"You went to Central Town just to buy me this?"

"I… ah," he cleared his throat and looked at the opposite direction. "I had to buy something. I passed by the candy store and I had some change, so I decided to might as well buy some."

He peeked at Mikan and saw her smile widened.

"It wasn't a big deal, since I was already there," but her smile did not falter. "Hey, don't get the wrong idea."

"Why? What idea would I get?" she asked innocently.

He felt heat rising to his cheeks, which made him look away instantly.

_What's wrong with me?_ he asked himself. _This is what I get for buying her those candies._

He sighed, "Nothing. Forget it."

"Hey, Natsume,"

"Hmm?"

"Thanks."

He closed his eyes as he felt his heart smiled.

------------------------- ----- -------------------------

Mikan really cheered up for the first time that day, and it was not because of the fluff puffs she was eating. Just the thought that Natsume bothered himself to buy her those candies was enough to do the job.

Even if he said that it was not the main reason why he was in Central Town, the fact that he thought of her when he passed by the candy store, made her heart dance more dynamically than usual.

Mikan was watching Natsume doze off beside her. She could not help thinking how he has come a long way from that grouchy boy that he was when she first set foot in the Academy.

He was always teasing her then, and calling her names.

_What am I saying? He's still teasing me and calling me names._

But something has changed. She used to cry or get really steamed up whenever he teased her, but now, their day won't be enough without them.

"Hey, polka-dots," she giggled when he verified her thoughts. "Stop staring at me."

"Okay, Mr. Obnoxious."

Mikan smiled at him, and then went back to her candies and her thoughts.

When did they start meeting under the tree?

_When Ruka and Hotaru started seeing each other._

She thought that nothing would really change when Hotaru agreed to be his girlfriend. But she was proven wrong when, one night, she was thrown out of Hotaru's room because the couple wanted some private time.

Half-devastated, she went outside to walk. That's when she found Natsume sitting alone under the Sakura tree.

At first, he tried to shoo her away. But the proceeding nights after that, she find herself walking after dinner towards that tree, until it became a habit – their nightly routine.

They spend it in different ways. Sometimes, they talk about how odd the Ruka-Hotaru couple is. Then, sometimes, they argue about stuff like pink-could-also-be-for-guys, with Mikan on the pro stand. And there are those times, like that night, when they would drift into a comfortable silence. No words were needed, just each other's company.

* * *


	3. Me Out Of Me

**Ready To Fall**

**

* * *

Chapter 3: Me out of me**

----- # -----

_I won't change my hair. I don't care if you call me a freak_

_Won't change my attitude. No, I'll never change the way that I speak_

_There's something you should know_

_I won't change._

_No, I won't let go._

_-'Me out of me' by Alexz Johnson-_

----- # -----

**

* * *

Three months and six days before that cold and empty night…**

It was a bright weekend in Central Town.

"I'm glad we're doing this," Mikan couldn't help blurting out to Hotaru as they browse through a rack of clothes.

It has been a while since they had a girl's day out. She supposed it's because Hotaru has a boyfriend now.

Not that she was complaining. She's glad that Ruka is there to make her bestfriend happy.

Hotaru smiled at Mikan, "Next time let's do this with the other two otaku sisters and Sumire."

"That's a deal,"

Mikan mused on her used-to-be-stoic friend's smile. That is one of the good things Ruka has done to Hotaru.

"So how are you and Hyuuga?"

"We're okay," she replied casually.

Hotaru sighed, "I mean, when are you, guys, going to be an item?"

She blinked at her friend, confused.

"You're lucky I promised not to use my inventions anymore on idiots like you, you know."

_And bless Ruka for that!_ Mikan silently praised.

Hotaru no longer carries her baka gun around, which relieves all of them, because Ruka made her promise not to use her inventions on anyone unless it is a desperate situation.

She calmed herself and restated the question, "Aren't you two seeing each other?"

"Well," Mikan thought about it. "We do see each other almost every night, just like I told you before, under the tree."

In frustration, Hotaru hit her own forehead with her open palm.

"What I mean to say is when are you guys going to be a couple?"

"Oh!"

"Finally," Hotaru hoorayed. "Well?"

"Natsume and I are just friends," she answered matter-of-factly.

The raven-haired girl felt the urge to smack her friend on the head.

"I thought you like Hyuuga?"

"When did I say that?"

"You didn't," she shrugged. "But I know you do."

Mikan's jaw dropped, and started blushing.

"Why… I…" she stuttered. "How did you come up with that idea?"

"I'm not stupid, Mikan," she just said. "It's obvious."

"What?" she's beet red now. "Would you care to elaborate?"

"Do I have to?"

She nodded vigorously.

"Fine," she sighed as she returned the denim jacket she's been studying at the rack.

She faced Mikan and put out her old stoic explanatory face.

"When Hyuuga is not around, you're worried of his whereabouts. When he arrives, your smile brightens a bit more than usual. You hate it when he teases you, but you miss it when he doesn't. When he's in his loner state, you drag him back in the company. Seeing him smile is an accomplishment for you. When he laughs, you're in heaven."

"Wait a minute," she interrupted. "I'm like that to anyone."

"No you're not," she retorted.

"I'm not?"

"No."

Mikan fell into thoughts.

"At least it's quite different when it comes to Hyuuga," Hotaru added.

_Am I really like that to Natsume? Am I that obvious?_

"Well?" Hotaru is still waiting for her to defend herself and her possible denial.

"It doesn't mean anything," she finally said.

"It means one thing,"

She looked at her friend waiting.

Hotaru continued, "You do like him."

Mikan has always admitted to herself that she likes Natsume. She just never said it to anyone, even to her bestfriend, and especially to Natsume.

Mikan sighed in admission, "But it doesn't mean I hope to be his girlfriend."

"That's because you're both idiots," Hotaru muttered under her breath.

------------------------- ----- -------------------------

"I know what you're doing, Ruka," Natsume said warning the blonde boy from across the table. "And it won't work."

If Mikan and Hotaru are having a girl's day out, the two boys are having their own version of it in an outdoor café, sipping coffee and munching on coffee cake.

"I'm not doing anything," the blonde boy replied innocently. "Is it so wrong to want to spend a day with your bestfriend in Central Town?"

"I don't buy it even for one bit."

Ruka shrugged, "Your call."

Ever since Imai agreed to be his bestfriend's girlfriend, Ruka has been more determined to push him to Mikan. He thinks his friend is enthused by the idea that they could go on double dates if he and Mikan become a couple.

He likes Mikan – that, he won't deny to himself. But it doesn't mean that he wants to make her a girlfriend. There are… complications.

He had said this before to Ruka, but the animal-lover just won't give up. And he's sure as hell that he would keep on trying to bring them together. He's only thankful that he has not yet tried any drastic measures. He has been discreet about his attempts.

_He's probably teaming up with Imai now._

Realizing this, Natsume drew his eyebrows together. "Where is Imai, by the way?"

"Somewhere," he shrugged.

"Somewhere?" Natsume pressed on. "Somewhere like Central Town?"

"Yeah," he answered hesitantly.

"With?"

Ruka knew he's been found, "With her bestfriend."

"They're meeting us here, aren't they?"

"They might," he only said.

But he knew better. "Of course, they are."

Natsume crossed his arms, and threw his bestfriend an accusing glance.

"What's the problem anyway?" Ruka goaded. "I thought you and Mikan are in good terms."

"We are," he smirked. "But I'm afraid you want us to be more than that."

"Wouldn't hurt, you know."

"It just might would."

"You know what would hurt more?" he sipped his coffee, hoping to get Natsume's interest.

"What?" and he succeeded.

"If one day, she finds herself a boyfriend, and it's not you."

He jeered, "Who would want to be her boyfriend?"

"Who wants a boyfriend?"

The two guys looked at the person who butted in.

"Don't tell me you're into boys now, Hyuuga," It was Imai, and she's with Mikan.

They were so engrossed with their conversation that they did not realize them come.

"Only in your dreams, Imai," he retorted.

"Hi, Ruka, Natsume!"

Natsume looked at Mikan from head to toe.

He pouted, "What do you think you're wearing?"

They all looked at Mikan.

She's wearing a red mini-skirt and a brown turtle neck under her white furry coat. She also has high-cut brown leather boots.

She didn't see anything wrong with it, but Natsume has a different opinion.

"It's, what, negative twenty degrees today, and you're wearing that?" he pointed irritably. "Are you trying to catch pneumonia?"

"You're exaggerating," she defended.

Ruka was smiling when he commented, "I think Mikan looks nice, and her outfit suits her very well."

"Thank you, Ruka," she returned his smile as they settled beside them.

Natsume only hissed and looked away.

"Did you girls have fun?" Ruka queried ignoring Natsume.

"Yeah," Imai talked about what she and Mikan did for the past two hours around Central Town.

Natsume secretly studied Mikan.

_Why does she have to wear that outfit? _he complained in his mind.

It only reminded him of how beautiful Mikan has grown for the past five years. She became taller, and her skirt emphasized that. She's also starting to show curves on the right places.

_Stop it, Natsume! You're only feeding the fire. Remember the complications. That's right. Complications._

"Ouch," someone kicked his foot. "What?"

It was Mikan, "I was asking you 'What's wrong?'."

"Nothing," he barked. "Why did you have to go and kick me?"

"Then why are you red?" she sounded worried. "Are you feeling sick?"

Natsume was taken a back. He didn't realize that he blushed.

"It's just the wind, which you obviously don't feel since you can wear those tight-fitting clothes of yours."

Mikan turned red herself, "Why do you care so much about what I wear?"

"It's not that I care," he snapped. "It's just… improper."

"Improper, meaning?" she demanded.

Ruka sensed the steam of anger floating around.

He cleared his throat, "How about we get you, girls, something to drink?" He looked at his girlfriend for help. "Hotaru?"

Hotaru nodded.

He called for a waiter immediately before they could go back to arguing. To his relief, a guy in white button-down and black ribbon-tie approached their table.

"What can I get you, sir?"

"I'll have Toffee Nut Latte," Hotaru ordered. "Mikan?"

She and Natsume were still sneering at each other.

"Mikan!" Her bestfriend knocked her head.

"Ouch, Hotaru!"

"Drinks?" she reminded.

"Oh, uhm, a Mocha Latte with Peppermint. Thanks."

"Peppermint?" Natsume asked when the waiter left their table.

"What's wrong with that?"

"Don't you think the mint defies the purpose of it being 'hot'?"

"So?" Mikan doesn't see the problem with that. "I like Peppermint in my chocolate."

The couple only sighed as they watched their friends delved into another argument.

------------------------- ----- -------------------------

Two days later, it seemed like Natsume and Mikan did not have that argument over the weekend. They were even sitting next to each other again at the lunch table.

Nonoko, who's sitting across Natsume, voiced out, "Can you believe it? It's only less than a month before Christmas!"

"Why'd you have to remind us?" said Mochu who's at the other side of Anna. "I still don't know how I will budget my money for gifts."

"I think it's exciting," Anna cheered. "There would be decorations everywhere. Lights. Snow."

"And boys!"

Everyone looked at Sumire's direction.

"What?" she shrugged. "Christmas is one of the seasons where boys look for dates. Everyone knows Christmas is a time for lovers."

"I think you're talking about Valentine's Day," commented Yuu.

Nonoko motioned with her fork throwing bits of sauces towards Mikan and Natsume, "Sumire has a point. In fact, my father proposed to my mother on a Christmas night."

_I wish someone will propose to me on a Christmas Night as well, _was the girl's thoughts.

Kokoro, who has been silent about the topic, suddenly spilled juice from his mouth.

Mochu, who's sitting beside him, rubbed his back to relieve him from coughing.

"How about you, Mikan?" Nonoko turned to her ignoring what happened to Kokoro.

She cocked an eyebrow, "Me?"

"Don't you want boys to ask you on a date for Christmas?" she elaborated enthusiastically.

Mikan glanced at the guy beside her, "I suppose it's okay."

Natsume hissed, not looking at them, "Who would want to ask you out?"

"What do you mean by that?" she snapped.

"Who would want to go out with a childish annoying girl like you?"

Her hold on the fork tightened. She felt the urge to puncture his hand with it.

"Ruka asked me out before," she replied pointedly.

"Exactly," he uttered still not looking at her. "Now, he's with Imai."

"And I'm happy for them," she added looking at him murderously. "I'm sure there's someone out there who finds me attractive."

Natsume studied her face, and then shook his head, "A noisy girl like you? Attractive? They'll be turned-off as soon as you open your mouth."

"You'll see, Natsume," she challenged. "You'll eat up your words. Right, Nonoko?"

They both looked at Nonoko.

"What was that?" she turned to them.

Just like everyone else in their table, Nonoko ignored them when they started fighting.

No one minds them when they argue anymore. Before, the gang would step in between the brunette and the raven-haired, but they got so used to it that they just let them be when one starts to make a rude comment about the other.

Mikan, however, was not discouraged by this.

_Let's just see who'll have the last laugh, Natsume._

------------------------- ----- -------------------------

"That was kind of mean, Natsume," Ruka commented when they were having an all-boys time after their afternoon classes.

"Yeah," Kokoro agreed. "I think you hurt Mikan's feelings."

"I just don't want her to have false hopes," he replied, and then went back to his manga.

"I don't know about that, but," Mochu hesitated. Natsume glowered at him charily. "But Mikan maybe right."

"What do you mean?" asked Ruka while stroking his white rabbit on his lap.

"It's just that," Mochu looked at Kokoro. "Why don't you tell them, Kokoro? You're the one who read those thoughts."

"Why me? You're the one who started it."

Mochu glared at him.

"Fine," he sighed. "I read quite a few guys' thoughts about them deciding whether to ask Mikan Sakura out."

"Are you sure?" the blonde boy with a rabbit probed.

"Who?" Yuu inquired anxiously.

Kokoro stuttered sensing the tension towards Natsume, "I… I'm not… sure really. It sort of just passed by. I didn't really see whose thoughts they were."

Natsume's jaw clenched, his manga already forgotten.

"Natsume, are you alright?" Ruka asked concerned.

"Fine," he replied, teeth clenched, his eyes burning with rage. "Just perfect."

------------------------- ----- -------------------------

Kokoro's news has been hanging around Natsume's thoughts for two days. Aside from that, Ruka's comment last time was also taunting him.

_One day, she would find herself a boyfriend, and it's not you_

He shook his head to drive the thoughts away, but it didn't work.

_You knew that sooner or later, someone else will find her attractive – that someone else will like her. You idiot! Every minute that you spend thinking about it could be her every chance to land on a date before Christmas._

Natsume looked at the people around the table. There was Mochu, Kokoro, Iinchou and Ruka.

_Where are the girls? _

He glanced at the wall clock above the door. He realized that they were running late for dinner. Food has been served for more than ten minutes ago.

_Where is that idiot?_

Then as if to answer his silent question, Shouda called the attention of the boys around the table. "You wouldn't believe what just happened!"

Natsume noticed that Kokoro suddenly glanced at him uncomfortably.

He stiffened and braced himself to hear the rest of the news.

It was Anna who continued, "Someone asked Mikan out on a date for this Friday!"

Only the girls seemed thrilled at this.

The boys turned tensely towards Natsume.

"That stupid girl," he muttered under his breath, knowing he did eat his words. And he did not like the taste of it. Not one bit.

* * *


	4. I Don't Want To Care

**Ready To Fall

* * *

Chapter 4: I don't want to care**

----- # -----

_I don't wanna care at all anymore_

_I used to only care a little bit, but now I care way too much_

_Now this love thing, I wish I never felt it before_

_I don't wanna care anymore._

_-'I don't want to care' by Jessica Simpson-_

----- # -----

**

* * *

Two months and three weeks before that cold and empty night…**

It was one of those all-boys time after class under the Sakura Tree.

"What's the 10-43, Yome?" inquired Mochu in a formal tone.

He and Kokoro have been playing detectives ever since that night when Sumire and Anna broke the news about someone asking Mikan out.

"Aki. 16. Plant Manipulation Alice." Kokoro replied in the same tone.

"10-4 that." Mochu stopped to think. "10-20?"

"Barbeque House, Central Town."

"10-4 that, Yome."

Yuu shook his head in amusement, "That's the fifth guy in less than two weeks."

Ruka studied his bestfriend, who's been quietly reading his manga. Looking at him, no one would suspect that he's mind was actually bothered by the ongoing conversation. But Ruka knew better.

He faced the other guys. "10-0, possible 10-70. We might have to 10-52, or worst 10-79."

They looked at Natsume, and laughed in chorus, understanding Ruka's message. "_Caution, possible fire alarm. We might have to request ambulance, or worst, notify the coroner."_

Natsume glared at them which made them hushed instantly.

"I don't know why you keep playing this game," he smirked. "I already said that I won't do anything about it. She's free to do what she wants with her free time."

"Who said where doing this for you to do anything?" Ruka asked nonchalantly.

But like what was said, Ruka knew better. He has been hearing updates from his girlfriend about Mikan's dates.

Odd things happened on those dates. One time, when she dated a guy who can detect the intensity of a person's Alice who's nearby even without seeing the person, the guy jerked when he tried to put his arms around Mikan. After that, he never attempted again.

Another time, she dated a guy with an Alice of X-ray vision, the guy kept glancing at the tree near the outdoor café the whole time.

Mikan only found this weird, but the couple knew exactly what happened.

Someone has been using the information that Mochu and Kokoro have been researching.

"I'm tired of this," Natsume closed his manga and rose on his feet. "I'll just be in my room."

"Sure, Natsume," Ruka smiled knowingly as they watched him walk away.

------------------------- ----- -------------------------

The "room" Natsume went to was a certain two-storey building in Central Town, with a sign that reads _Barbeque House_.

The aroma of roast beef and chicken enveloped him the moment he opened the door. But before Natsume got distracted, he roamed his eyes searchingly for a certain long-haired brunette.

_Good. She's not yet here._

He picked a table near the restroom, where he could be covered by the aquarium and still be able to see who comes through the door.

"What can I get you, sir?" the waiter asked him when he settled himself.

He glanced through the menu and chose fish and chips, and lemon soda.

Five minutes waiting, he heard the door chime and instantly looked up. Two girls from Middle School Class A stepped in. They waved their hands towards their other friends who were already settled in a table three feet away from him.

Natsume breathed out. _Why do I even really bother to do this?_

He likes Mikan, that's why.

"What are you going to do, Natsume?" Ruka paid him a visit that night after dinner when Mikan got herself a date.

"I don't have to do anything," was his casual answer.

"But you like Mikan," his friend reminded.

Natsume sighed, "And I told you, I don't want to be her boyfriend."

Ruka studied him as he sat at the windowsill staring outside. He approached him and leaned on the wall beside the window.

"Things are different now," he uttered. "You said before that you don't want to be with her, because you're comfortable with what you, guys, have. But don't you see she's dating now? Things are going to change."

Natsume thought of that. He even feared that, but he's not going to tell anyone about it. "So, what?"

But Ruka voiced it out for him, "With Mikan dating, it's not surprising if one of them becomes her boyfriend. And when that happens, you couldn't expect her to still meet you under the tree at night. You can't spend much time with her. She won't be fussing about you anymore."

Finally, he stared at his friend. "I would just have to live with it then. I'm used to being alone anyway."

Ruka sighed in surrender. He started to leave.

"You don't have to be alone in the dark, Natsume," was Ruka's last words before he closed his door.

Natsume has not changed his mind about being Mikan's boyfriend. He still thinks that entering into that kind of relationship would only make things complicated.

However, that did not mean that he is going to let Mikan go out unprotected. He would not let any guy abuse her ignorance.

_She wouldn't know a pig even if it dances in front of her._

He hissed at the thought.

That's when the door chimed, deviating his attention from the waiter who was serving his food, and he caught sight of her just in time.

Her brown hair was gathered in a pony tail. She put on simple make-up and hooked a drop earring on each ear. She's wearing a long-sleeved purple sabrina-neckline top with a white knitted scarf wrapped around her neck that drapes down to her hips, and a pair of dark fitted denim pants.

Natsume's jaw tightened. _Why does she have to go get so perked-up for her dates?_

The plant manipulator was smiling from ear to ear. He looked so pleased showing Mikan off.

_The jerk! _

He watched him lead her to a table few feet away from him.

_That's good. It's not too near for her to see me, and not too far to hear their conversations. _

For the fifth time that Natsume has been doing this, it was getting harder and harder for him to watch Mikan have fun with other guys. There were those times when he just wanted to turn those pigs into ashes right in front of her very eyes.

------------------------- ----- -------------------------

Aki was feeling lucky. His date was very beautiful and sexy. If he does things right for this first date, he would probably score another date just in time for Christmas.

He did not care even if there were some rumors about Natsume Hyuuga scaring the guys who dated Mikan Sakura. He would not be scared of someone who is one year younger than him.

He, however, did not also expect to see _him_ with his arms crossed on his chest and leaning on the door of the restroom. Natsume Hyuuga was blocking the only way out except for the small window. He thought that _that_ would have to do if a need to escape arises.

"How's your date going?" he asked surly.

"F-fine."

He thought that Ryouta, the one who can sense Alice intensity, and Daisuke, the one with X-ray vision, were only imagining things when they told him about their dates. Well it seemed like they were telling the truth after all.

"Are you here to stop my date with Mikan?" he asked uncertainly.

"No," the raven-haired shrugged. "I'm here to make sure you won't try anything daring with her."

Aki tried a confused look. "What do you mean?"

"Do I really have to explain myself?" Natsume asked dangerously.

Aki felt a sweat drop from his nape. "I… I guess not."

"Very well then."

Natsume straightened and reached for the door knob. But before he turned it, he warned, "Oh, and, remember, we never had this conversation."

"If something like this leaks out, how would you know if it was me? I wasn't the only one who dated Sakura."

"I have my ways," he glared at the Plant Manipulator. "And just so you know, if I hear any leak from this, you'll be at the top of my list."

When he was about to leave, Aki uttered hoping to sound braver than he was, "I'm not afraid of you, Hyuuga."

Natsume smiled mischievously and faced him, "You do know that I have a friend who could lift you off the ground and send you somewhere very, very far. There's a mind reader who could reveal your deep dark secrets. There's also a very close friend who can make animals do as he says. And a kid, who summons dark spirits. I'm sure they would very much want to be acquainted. Most importantly, I can roast you like this restaurant's specialty." He paused for effect. "Oh, you're afraid alright."

Aki would not yield, "You would not do that. You'd be reprimanded."

"Not if I can make it look like an accident," he sneered. "And I'm sure you've heard enough rumors about me to know what I'm quite capable of."

He did not answer knowing everything Natsume said was true.

"Well then, I'll just let you go back to your date." He opened the door, and before he closed it on him, he added, "Just be careful on your moves. Play your cards right. I'll be watching you."

------------------------- ----- -------------------------

That night under the tree, Natsume was starting a headache. He closed his eyes hoping for it to go away.

_All these dating stuff is giving me a migraine._ And it was not even him who was doing the dating.

Aki, fortunately, did as he said. He did not tell Mikan about their encounter in the restroom, nor did he dare touch or look at Mikan in a way that would compromise himself.

He sighed. If only guys would stop asking her out. If only she would stop saying yes. He thought that the reason she said yes to those guys was because he said that no one would want to date her. But five guys? How many guys does it have to take to prove her point?

_Unless she's really into those dates._

He froze. _Could it be… could it be that Mikan likes one of them? Is it that Plant Manipulator?_

A spasm of pain in his head caused him to cringe. _This could be even worse than what I get by using my Alice._

"Are you alright?" a concerned voice distracted his thoughts.

When he opened his eyes, he saw Mikan watching him closely.

"I'm fine," he replied grouchily. "Just a minor headache."

"Maybe you should have that checked," she said as she settled next to him.

Natsume watched Mikan look into space. She seemed to be bothered about something.

He took a breath, "How was your… ah… date?"

She turned to him and shrugged, "It was alright."

"Just alright?"

She sighed and looked at the sky, "Actually, it was kind of weird."

"Weird?" his eyebrows drawn together.

"Well, everything was okay at first, but when he returned from the restroom, he seemed to be… I don't know… tensed?"

"That is weird," he said casually, but he knew exactly the reason why.

"There seems to be a pattern in my dates,"

Natsume flinched, but she did not notice. "Pa… pattern?"

"Forget it," waving it off. "It's nothing."

He breathed out in relief.

"Enough about me," she started turning to him again. "How have you been? It feels like it's been a while since we got together."

Ever since Mikan started dating, they seldom see each other at night. This was mostly because Natsume opted to stay in his room than to hear Mikan talk about the guys who asked her out. This would be the first time they discussed it, and already he was relieved that they did not linger on the topic.

"I've been fine," he simply replied. _Not that you really want to know._

She smiled, "I actually missed you."

Natsume felt his cheeks turning red, so he looked away, "Why would you miss me? We see each other during classes and meals."

"I don't know. Maybe because… because…"

Mikan grew silent.

_She missed me, and she could not explain why. _

He turned back to her and saw again that she was deep in thoughts.

_What could she be thinking right now?_

"Hey, ah… Mikan," she faced him instantly blinking in amusement upon hearing her first name. "You know, you should… ah… you should really be careful with the… guys you go out with."

She gave him a confused look, "What do you mean, Natsume?"

"You see," he started uncertainly. "Guys have… uhm… expectations. You know, when they're with girls?"

She just crooked her brows still not understanding.

"With girls, they usually date for… sentimental reason. But it's different with guys. They're more sensual. Sometimes, they just want to get physical."

"They want to exercise?"

"No," he sighed but he continued to explain. "They're not always dating because they love a girl. It could be because they just want to score first base, second or third even."

"Are you saying they want to play baseball during dates?" Mikan thought about it. "That could be fun."

"No!" Natsume was at wits end. "You've been to five dates and you still don't know any of this? You even dated Ruka before so make that six – six dates!"

"What does this got to do with my date with Ruka so long ago?" she was also losing her temper. "Besides, why telling me these things like you know a lot? You don't go on dates."

"I'm a guy, and I know how a guy thinks."

She crossed her arms and looked away. "I still don't understand."

Natsume gave up. It was no use. Again, she won't know a pig even if it dances in front of her – even if it is illustrated and served in front of her with a juicy apple in its mouth.

He shook his head and crossed his arms looking at the other direction.

That was their last conversation for the night.

------------------------- ----- -------------------------

Around two weeks later, Christmas Eve, the whole of Alice Academy has been decorated with lights, hollies and mistletoes. Christmas trees were also scattered on different halls of the buildings. Christmas songs are being played in the Dining Halls and even in the restrooms.

Everyone was feeling the Christmas spirit, except for one raven-haired boy who saw that day as just an ordinary Saturday.

He's not really fond of Christmas. Although, thinking about it, he had quite a number of good memories about Christmas, especially for the past five years. And they all involved a certain brunette who is…

"Natsume!"

… very loud and annoying.

He stopped and waited for her to reach him.

"Why are you so noisy in the hallway?" he asked irritably.

"I was just wondering if you could go with me in Central Town today,"

Natsume studied her for a minute. "Don't you have a date today?"

"No," Then she realized. "Come to think of it, it's been a while since someone asked me out."

"Maybe they got tired of you," was his answer but he knew very well the reason why no one was asking her again. This, however, did not stop him from being in the look out for new wannabe members of Mikan's Boys Club. One can never be too sure.

"That's just mean," she muttered. "So would you go with me?"

"What do you want to do in Central Town anyway?"

She smiled suspiciously, "Well, actually, I have not done much shopping in the past weeks, so I need to do last-minute Christmas shopping for gifts."

Natsume saw the underline to this: he could end up carrying all the shopping bags for her after being bored to death while waiting for her to decide which gifts she should give to whom. So he said he'll pass.

But she insisted, "I don't want to go alone."

"How about the otaku sisters or Permy, or even Iinchou?"

"Well, Hotaru is with Ruka – as always. Anna and Nonoko are wrapping their gifts. Sumire refuses to go with me. Yuu was called by Mr. Narumi – something about the Christmas dinner tomorrow."

"Looks like you just have to go by yourself then," that was all, and he walked away leaving Mikan alone in the hallway.

He did not know that it was going to be one of his biggest mistakes later on.

* * *

**_Author's Notes:_ **_That's it as of now, guys. Hope you liked it. More chapters to come._

_If you have any questions or comments just drop a note at the review page. I hope to hear (read, actually) what you can say about my fan fiction._

_Only two more months before that cold and empty night... what could have happened? And what does it have to do with Natsume committing a mistake by not going with Mikan to Central Town for Christmas shopping._

_**Next Chapter:** Christmas day has come. This means gifts. I wonder what Natsume's planning to give Mikan for Christmas._


	5. All I want is you this Christmas

**Ready To Fall**

* * *

**_Author's Notes: _**_I would like to thank everyone for reading my fan fiction. I would also like to extend my special gratitude to those who dropped their reviews, __those who included 'Ready To Fall' to their Alerts page, and __included me and my story to their favorites. You, guys, have definitely lifted my spirit. _

_So I finally decided to upload this chapter. I think I have been internalizing the main characters so much, that even I am having a mind battle of my own. I think I was recently as confused as Mikan and Natsume (not with my own love life, of course, but with theirs). It's so hard to be a teenager--I know, 'cause I've been there._

_Anyway, I'm babbling again... So with no much ado, here's Chapter Five of Ready To Fall. Hope you'll like it. Don't forget to drop your reviews, guys. Enjoy!_

* * *

**Chapter 5: All I want is you this Christmas**

----- # -----

_A kiss beneath the mistletoe_

_Your face lit by the fire's glow. That's all I want tonight._

_And I don't need a hundred gifts beneath the tree._

_Don't you know the best thing you could give to me?_

_Nothing else will do_

_All I want is you this Christmas_

_-'All I want is you this Christmas' by N'Sync-_

----- # -----

* * *

**Two months and five days before that cold and empty night…**

It was Christmas morning.

Mikan's eyes widened when she opened her eyes and saw the colorful boxes at her study table. They were in different shapes and sizes. She browsed through them and checked the tags to find out the sender.

The first box she checked was from her bestfriend and Ruka. She giggled at the thought that those two were sharing gifts for people, like married couples. They gave her a black alarm clock shaped like a cat. According to the user's manual, she can record her own alarm tone.

Next, she checked a flat box wrapped in red and gold. The tag said it was from Yuu. Inside was a pair of white leather gloves with studs of rhinestones at the wrist. There was another flat box, with a beaded lariat inside. It came from Sumire. Every year, she was actually surprised that Sumire gives her Christmas gifts. Maybe it was because they did not have a good start, but they have been good friends for almost five years now.

Anna gave her a pair of chandelier earrings, while Nonoko gave her a scented candle shaped like a fairy princess.

There was also one from Mr. Narumi. It was a ribbon choker with a dragonfly pendant.

Youichi also gave her a gift. It was a miniature stuffed black cat dangling from a key chain ring.

Even Mr. Bear remembered her, and gave her scrumptious dark-chocolate cookies shaped like little cats.

For some reason, a black cat is a common theme in her gifts from her close friends.

_Is this the new trend this season? _

She gave up the thought and proceeded with the other boxes.

Other gifts were from Mochu, Kokoro, some guys who asked her out, and a few from the faculty members.

Mikan noticed that none of it was from Natsume.

What was new anyway? Natsume Hyuuga never gave gifts to anyone. Not on birthdays, Valentine's nor Christmas.

She sighed. _Why do I feel disappointed? It's not like I'm the only one who doesn't have any gift from him._

------------------------- ----- -------------------------

But she _is_ the only one who has no gift from Natsume.

She found out during lunch that, apparently, Natsume Hyuuga gave his friends gifts for the very first time.

He gave the girls cute hankies of different designs, while he gave baseball cap for the boys.

"What does this mean?" she groaned at the lunch table.

"Mikan," Yuu started uncertainly. "Maybe it just got lost when they delivered the gifts to each room."

"You think so?" she asked hoping.

Her friends were looking at her awkwardly.

Nonoko suggested, feeling guilty by asking her what design of hanky she received from Natsume, "There must be a reason for this, Mikan. Right, Ruka?"

They all looked at Ruka waiting for answers, "Why are you involving me?"

"Because you're the bestfriend," It was Anna who replied. "You must at least have an idea."

"I really don't have any," he said shaking his head vigorously.

"I think," Hotaru intercepted, stepping in defense of her boyfriend. "We should just wait for Hyuuga, instead of looking at Ruka like he's to blame."

Ruka nodded thankfully, "That's right." He searched the Dining Hall with his eyes. "Where's Natsume anyway? Isn't he joining us for lunch?"

Mikan sighed calming herself. "It's alright, guys—really. It's no big deal."

"But, Mikan—," Yuu was not able to finish his words.

She put out a smile for them. "I was just shocked a while ago, that's why I reacted that way. I'm calm now. Christmas is not just about gifts. Besides, maybe Yuu is right. Maybe they misplaced it. I'm not gonna feel bad about it. It doesn't mean that he forgot about me when he bought gifts. Really, it doesn't mean anything."

Her friends could not help feeling bad for her, but they knew better than to show her their pity. She would not like that.

_You better have an explanation, Natsume, for obviously singling Mikan out—and on Christmas Day? What were you thinking? _Ruka silently thought.

------------------------- ----- -------------------------

No one saw Natsume the whole afternoon. Mikan could not stop herself from thinking where he could be the whole time, and what could he be doing.

_And why am I the only one who did not receive any gift from you? _

They did not talk anymore about Natsume's gifts, but it did not mean that Mikan forgot all about it.

She said that she was okay, but she could not stop thinking why.

Even while they were playing with snow, throwing snowballs and making snowmen, after lunch, she got distracted from time to time wondering about Natsume.

That was why when Natsume walked in the Dining Hall for Christmas dinner, it was Mikan's chance to interrogate the forgetful boy.

"Where have you been the whole day?"

Natsume was taken aback by her tone. She sounded pretty grumpy, unlike the concern tone she usually used for that question.

He grunted and sat next to her on the table, "Do I have to report to you my whereabouts?"

"Why don't you just answer my question?"

When Natsume faced her, he noticed that all the people around their table were uneasily looking at him.

He drew his brows together, "What happened while I was gone?"

Each muffled senseless reasons.

"The question here is: where were you?" Mikan still insisted.

But he ignored her and turned to each of the boys who only bowed their heads upon hearing their names. "Yome? Mochu? Iinchou? Ruka?"

"Well, you see, Natsume," It was Sumire who had the urge to talk, although with difficulty. "This morning… Well, it seems that your gift for… for Mikan got lost during delivery."

They were all waiting for his reply—and his reasons—but Natsume only stared at them.

Mikan sighed, and then smiled, breaking the tension. "Forget about that already. It's not like I'm really waiting for Natsume to give me a gift for Christmas."

He glanced at her. When he was about to say something, Mr. Narumi caught the attention of everyone in the Hall.

"First of all, in behalf of the Faculty, I would like to greet each and everyone a Merry Christmas! We, the faculty, prepared a very special dinner for all of you. We worked very hard, so we hope you enjoy it. To get started, just form a line at each end of the buffet table and wait for your turn. Let's do this properly and orderly, alright? Okay, come on now."

"Shall we, guys?" Mikan called. "Let's go, Natsume."

Natsume only had the time to blink before Mikan grabbed him by the sleeve towards the buffet table.

While they were on the line waiting for their turn, Natsume spoke wanting to explain himself, unsure why he even want to bother. However, he was only able to go as far as say her name when she cut him off.

"Seriously, Natsume, I don't want to talk about the gift anymore. I'm just glad you even showed up for dinner," she glanced at him with concern. "I don't want you starving yourself to death."

------------------------- ----- -------------------------

Natsume suppressed a smile upon hearing her obvious concern. Leave it to his Mikan to be more worried about his health than any other things.

_Wait a minute! My Mikan? _

"Here," pulling him from his thoughts, Mikan thrust a porcelain plate on his hands. They just reached the edge of the table where mounts of delicious foods were waiting to be engulfed.

He just watched her put different dishes on his plate, as he battled with his thoughts.

_What's got into you, Hyuuga? You have no right to call her yours, especially now that you're not doing anything with her dating._

_But I am doing something with her dating._

_It does not mean that you're stopping her from making the biggest mistake by taking one of those idiots as a boyfriend._

_So what does that mean? That I actually want to be her boyfriend? Isn't that an even bigger mistake?_

_Well you say so yourself that those guys do not meet your standards for Mikan. What standards were those anyway? They're based from you. And if you just let someone else take your place on Mikan's heart, which is the greatest mistake?_

_But still, there are complications. I can't let her be used as leverage against me, when… when…_

Tug. Tug.

He felt someone pulled his bangs forward, and saw two big brown orbs staring closely to him.

Heat rose on his cheeks, and snapped on the owner of those eyes to hide it, "What is your problem?"

Mikan drew her eyebrows together, and snapped back, "You're the one with the problem."

Natsume cleared his throat, and calmed himself. As he did so, he was able to scan both his plate and Mikan's. It was good for at least three people. He could not finish that much food.

_She doesn't seriously think that I really starved myself today, does she?_

"Natsume!" she yapped, snapping her fingers on him.

"What?" he barked back at her.

"I was asking whether you like maple syrup or cranberry sauce on your ham."

"What?" He's still distracted with his previous mind battle and the amount of food on his plate. "Uhm, maple."

"Maple then," she poured on maple syrup on the slices of ham on her plate.

Natsume was confused with what she was doing, and he needed clarity at the moment.

"Wait, what is this? What are you doing?"

"Saving as a trip," she said not giving time to glance at him as she continued towards the dishes. "Caesar or Thousand Islands?"

"Caesar," he answered absently. "How does this save us a trip?"

"We're sharing," she replied like it was the most obvious thing in the world.

Regaining his stance, Natsume smirked, "Why do we have to share?"

She grinned, "Sharing is more enjoying." Then, she shrugged her shoulders as they headed back to their table, "Besides, it's Christmas."

"What does Christmas have to do with it?" he muttered as he followed her to their table.

Maybe he should just enjoy the night, and temporarily forget all his mind battles.

------------------------- ----- -------------------------

Sharing food is indeed enjoying, especially when she was sharing it with Natsume.

It was one of Mikan's ways to loosen the boy up, and to also make sure that he will eat a lot, because for some reason, he did not look too well. He seemed to be occupied lately.

_I wonder what's wrong with him. Even if I ask him, he won't tell me, and it's making me more worried for him._

"Hey, Polka-dots,"

Her eyebrow suddenly flicked on its own, "I thought you're done calling me names?"

"Says who?" he sneered. "Are you suffering from indigestion?"

Her jaw dropped on how casually he blurted out his comment.

Looking at the raven-haired boy beside her, it seemed like nothing changed from how he was five years ago. He still sneers a lot, and gives those menacing stares. But if she really stares into those flame-red eyes, they were no longer as cold as before.

A finger poked her forehead.

"Are you asleep or something?" the red-eyed asked. "You seem to be somewhere else."

"It's nothing," she sighed. _But he is still always annoying me._

"Are you feeling ill, Mikan?" Iinchou asked concerned.

She roamed her eyes around their table and realized that all her friends were watching her.

"I'm fine."

"That's what you get after eating almost everything from the buffet," Natsume commented.

_This is what I get for worrying about this moron?_

She shot him an evil stare, which he returned with the same level.

"Okay, that's enough, you two," It was Ruka who finally stepped in between them. "We're going to Hotaru's lab for some eggnog. Are you going?"

They both answered after looking away from each other.

"Sure."

"Fine."

Ruka sighed, "Okay, then."

They all started to leave the Dining Hall.

_I should really stop worrying about Natsume. I don't get anything good out of it anyway._

"Hey, Mikan!"

The whole gang stopped on their tracks to see who called her.

A tall guy with red hair walked towards them.

Oblivious to Mikan, Natsume's radar was suddenly up and running.

"Do you know him, Mikan?" Sumire asked giggling.

She looked at the girls. Except for Hotaru, apparently, they were all drooling over the red head. Mikan could not blame them. The guy is really a dashing debonair.

"Merry Christmas!" the guy greeted with a smile showing his perfectly white teeth.

He was so tall that Mikan had to tilt her head to meet his grey eyes.

"Merry Christmas, Tetsuya!" she greeted back with her sweetest smile—to Natsume's despair.

Sumire elbowed her side. Knowing what it means, she turned to her friends to introduce Tetsuya Kimura. He gratefully shook their hands, and repeated their names after Mikan said it.

Sumire, Anna and Nonoko were all blushing when Tetsuya showered them with smiles.

The guys did not seem to mind the girl's reaction, except for Natsume, who refused his hand shake.

"Well, then," he straightened up, and turned to Mikan. "Let's get together again sometime, Mikan."

She nodded in answer, "Okay."

He turned to the rest of the group and bid them goodnight.

"Oh my gosh, Mikan!" Sumire was shaking her arms vigorously that it felt like it was going to detach from her shoulders. "How did you even meet that prince?"

"Prince?" Mikan blinked, confused.

"Tetsuya!" Sumire uttered as if adding a silent "Duh!"

Mikan gave it a thought. "I met him yesterday, at Central Town."

Natsume's head snapped at her.

But she paid no mind to it and continued her story. "I was doing some Christmas shopping. He's tall and has long arms. He helped me reach a high shelf. After that, he asked me for tea."

"You were just out buying presents, and you picked up a date instead?" the irritation in Natsume's voice was evident.

Mikan did not like his implications. "It wasn't intentional. He approached me."

The group stepped back from the two, afraid to be engulfed by the emerging tension between them.

"I wouldn't even wonder how you draw his attention."

"He said I have a lovely smile."

"That's his pick-up line?" he scowled. "Couldn't it be any less lame?"

Mikan had enough. "You just couldn't believe that guys are asking me out despite the fact that you think I'm not attractive."

The whole group was just watching them argue, until Hotaru saw the decoration right above their heads.

She smiled mischievously and elbowed Nonoko who was standing beside her, then pointed towards the decoration.

Nonoko's smile matched hers.

She called the attention of Mikan and Natsume.

They snapped together, "What!"

Nonoko flinched, but continued enthusiastically. "Look up."

They all looked at the mistletoe.

Natsume stiffened, but Mikan did not get the idea.

"Way to go, guys," Kokoro cheered.

She blinked still not understanding any.

Thankfully, Anna explained, "It's a tradition that when a guy and a girl stand below the mistletoe, they're supposed to kiss each other."

Mikan suddenly felt her cheeks burning, "You're saying we…" She looked at Natsume in front of her who was still looking at the idle decoration.

"It's a tradition," Sumire insisted. "Besides, they say that it's bad luck not to follow traditions."

She blushed even more, "Well, it's a stupid tradition."

She felt something pulling her scarf, and before she—they—realized it, her lips were touching Natsume's. It was such a quick kiss that she did not even have the time to close her eyes.

"Now it's done," Natsume said casually, and then turned away. "I'll just go to bed."

Mikan was left dumb-founded.

No one else moved until he was far gone.

Her friends cheered her, and teased her.

"Now, this really calls for an eggnog," Mochu announced, and they all agreed, except for Mikan, who's still unbelievably mute.

------------------------- ----- -------------------------

Mikan was looking at her reflection in the mirror.

After one glass of eggnog, she said goodnight to her friends and resigned to her room.

She's still shaken from what happened under the mistletoe, so she decided to splash some cold water on her face.

She absently touched her lips, and relived the kiss.

Realizing what she's doing, she shook her head violently and talked to her reflection.

_It was just a stupid tradition. It doesn't mean anything._

She needed to relax. Her heart has been beating so fast ever since that moment.

She took a deep breath to calm her nerves.

After deciding that she should just forget it, she finished cleaning up and preparing for bed.

When she was about to step out of the bathroom, the lights went off.

Mikan froze.

_Is it a power outage? Oh God, I hope not._

She tried flicking the switch on and off.

Nothing.

_It is a power outage._

She used the wall to guide her way out of the bathroom, hoping that she could reach the bed without toppling anything on the way.

It's unbelievably dark, even for a power outage. Then she realized that it was snowing hard outside.

_A blizzard? On Christmas?_

Mikan was trembling and missing her night light. The temperature of the room was also not helping her ease her nerves.

Knock. Knock.

Mikan jumped in surprise and bumped her knee on the end table beside her bed.

"Ouch!" she rubbed the injured knee, and asked uncertainly. "Who is it?"

"It's me."

Even without the heater, she could feel her cheeks burning. _What is he doing here at this hour? I thought he went to bed._

Her voice was quaking when she answered. "One second."

After two injured toes and one bruised hip, she finally reached the door.

A small flame greeted her when she opened the door, matched by a pair of red eyes.

She flushed deeper.

"W-what are you doing here?"

Natsume looked at her from head to toe, which made her feel uneasy.

"Can I come in?" he asked in a hush tone.

She tried to weigh what to say. "Only if you'll put out that fire."

In an instant, the flame from his hand disappeared. She stepped aside and let him in.

Natsume walked in without bumping on anything, like he was more acquainted to the room than the owner.

"Electricity's out," he said when he faced her.

Mikan was temporarily thankful with the darkness because it prevented him from seeing her red cheeks.

She was still uncertain whether she liked having Natsume in her room that late at night and wearing only her pajamas.

What she did not yet know was that it was a blessing in disguise for her to have what she really wanted for Christmas.

* * *

_**Author's Notes: **So what do you, guys, think? I really, really want to know what you can say. Good or bad, I can take it. Promise. Hehe.._

_Oh, And I'm apologizing ahead of time, because I couldn't stop making this story get a little--I don't even know how to describe it--dramatic? Mushy? _

_sighs _

_**Next Chapter:** What happened during the power outage? Hmm... _

_Do you know the game 'Twenty Questions'? We use to play this during parties, and, I'm telling you, a lot of secrets get revealed during this game whether intentional or not._

_That's all I'm telling right now. I'll update as soon as I can. Promise!_


	6. Helplessly, hopelessly, recklessly

**Ready To Fall**

* * *

**_Author's Notes: _**_Thank you for continually reading my "baby", and for posting your reviews. It really keeps me going. I even wonder how I could finish my research paper for school if I couldn't keep my mind off this story._

_I couldn't actually believe myself how this story is progressing. Sometimes, I surprise myself on how "accidental" some incidents are. It's like I gave birth to a baby, and guided its growth. Now, it's living a life of its own… and making me like a proud parent._

_Something about Chapter Six: I have been thinking the whole week whether I should split this chapter into two. I have decided to keep it as it is until I proof-read it before uploading. So now, this chapter is the first half of the original one. I also had to change the chapter title.  
_

_Anyway... I'm doing it again: babbling. I guess you're use to it by now._

* * *

**Chapter 6: Helplessly, hopelessly, recklessly  
**

----- # -----

_When you're holding me like this, _

_I'm carelessly lost in your touch._

_I'm completely defenseless._

_Baby, it's almost too much._

_I'm helplessly, hopelessly, recklessly falling in love.  
_

_-'Helplessly, hopelessly, recklessly' by Jessica Andrews-_

----- # -----

* * *

**Two months and four days before that cold and empty night…**

It was the official start of Winter break, day after Christmas.

Almost everything in the Academy was coated in white due to the blizzard the night before. That kind of blizzard was unexpected at that time of the year. But it was not strong enough to cause real damage, except for some frozen fuse and electrical wires that caused a power outage in the Academy.

Also, because of the snow, Natsume could not hang-out on his usual place under the Sakura tree. Therefore, instead, he chose to stay at the gazebo near the Middle School Building, where he used to hide when Persona was looking for him. It was also where he bumped into Mikan during one of those hide-and-seeks.

He was holding a new manga that Ruka gave him for Christmas. He was planning to read it that morning when he went out, but his thoughts were somewhere else that he could not focus on the reading material.

He sighed and muttered to himself, "I think I just reached a point of no return. What am I suppose to do?"

That was when he noticed a small brown thing standing in front of him, watching him.

"Hey, Mr. Bear," he greeted the little one as he helped him settle next to him.

Mr. Bear offered him a biscuit from his little pouch.

Natsume's lips curled into a smile as he dug in. He still could not imagine that the stuffed toy would be nice enough to offer him biscuits. He has caused torments and physical pain to students before who even tried to touch him—like Mikan. He guessed that all those years that Mikan insisted forming a friendship with Mr. Bear paid off. The stuffed toy now offers tea and biscuits rather than kicks and punches. Andou Tsubasa helped in this, too. He told the bear to be nice to them since no one else would look after him when he graduates. Surprisingly, the bear complied.

However, others—not belonging to their group—were still careful not to stand too close to the stuffed toy, because he could still kick and punch like a heavy weight wrestler.

While munching a biscuit, Natsume noticed that Mr. Bear was watching him intently. If not for his normal cranky stitched face, he would think that it seemed concerned.

"Don't tell me you, too?"

But it only continued to stare at him.

Natsume sighed in surrender and looked into space. "I don't understand anymore what I want. I was so sure before. I thought I was so sure… until this morning when I woke up."

Last night, Natsume was feeling obliged to check on Mikan. He did not really intend to stay the whole night, but that was what happened. His concern for her kicked in, especially when the lights went out, because he knew Mikan is afraid of the dark.

When he asked Mikan if she had woods for the fireplace, she was not able to answer. Knowing her, she probably forgot to prepare it thinking that there would be a heater anyway. But since the electricity was out, there was nothing to generate power for the heater.

"How are you going to stay warm the whole night?" he scowled at her in the dark.

"I'll cover myself with blankets," she retorted. He could not see her, but he's quite sure she had her arms crossed putting out an I-can-be-independent stance.

"Okay," he sighed calming himself for a while. He should be used to her ignorance at times. "Let's see them."

"How would you see them if it's dark?"

He released a small fire in his hand to light the room. "Now, let's see them."

"Are you trying to hurt yourself?" she replied instead of complying. "Put that fire out. You know better than to use your Alice in useless things."

"Well, do you at least have a flashlight?" he asked still not putting out the fire.

"Of course," she walked towards her drawer and pulled out a panda-like lantern that is battery-operated, and produces a light on its belly when switched on. By the looks of it, it was probably one of Imai's simple inventions.

She turned it on, and gave it to him, "Now, put that out, and hold this."

He obliged, as he watched her open her closet and searched for blankets.

When she just stood there staring at the clothes and towels, he realized that something was wrong.

"Are you just going to stand there all night?"

Mikan turned to face him hesitantly. "I guess I forgot to get my extra comforter from the dry cleaner. I only have spreads."

"Idiot," he muttered. "You have no fire and no extra blankets. Well, you could just freeze to death then."

"You know, you're not helping," she yapped at him, then sat at the couch near the fireplace. "What are you doing here anyway?"

He did not answer. He was not sure of how his answer would sound, so he chose not to say his reasons.

Instead, he thought of a solution to her problem.

He placed the panda lantern on her end table. Then, he sat at the edge of the bed and pulled off his shoes.

"What do you think you're doing?"

"Come here," he ordered casually after setting aside his shoes.

Mikan looked uneasy, "Why… why would you want me to come to the bed with you?"

He breathed out in exasperation, "Would you rather freeze all night?"

"Well, no," she pouted. "But, how does coming to the bed with you going to help?"

"Just come here and I'll tell you."

He positioned himself on the right side of the bed near the window, while Mikan sat at the far left hugging herself.

He realized that she was a little flushed, but he would have to deal with that later. Basic needs first.

"Come closer," he urged. Mikan stared at him questioning, but timidly complied.

She stopped a few inches away from him. The next thing he did surprised her.

Natsume pulled her right hand gently over him, wrapping Mikan on his body.

She flushed even more.

"Natsume," she mumbled in objection. She tried to retrieve her hand and pull away, but he held her in place.

Mikan slowly felt warmth flowing from him to her, relieving her from the cold temperature.

"You're warm," she said softly, feeling more comfortable and relaxed. "You're like a human heater."

He smirked as he pulled the sheets over them for more protection.

"I guess having a Fire Alice has its good points."

Mikan pushed her head away from his chest to glare at him. "You're not using your Alice right now, are you? Because if you are…"

He gently pressed her head back to lean on his chest and grinned, "I'm not using my Alice right now. You can say it's a side effect. I have a warmer body temperature than an ordinary human. I discovered it through Youichi around four years ago. He thought I was sick or something, saying I was warm."

He felt Mikan's lips curled into a smile, "I guess you're not as cold-hearted as I thought you were."

He chuckled at that.

"Uhm, Natsume," he heard the hesitation in her voice.

"What is it?" he asked concerned. He knew even at dinner that something has been bothering her. She spaced out time and again while they were eating. He thought for sure she was having indigestion, but knew better that she got something in her mind.

"Can I ask you something?"

"Do I have to answer?" he teased.

She let out a chortle, "How about I ask you something and you can ask me something back?"

"Are we playing twenty questions?"

"Twenty questions? I don't have that many questions. I probably only have one or two."

"Forget it. Ask away."

She breathed deeply before proceeding, "Why am I the only one who did not receive any gift from you?"

He tensed up, and it did not go unnoticed to her. _Is that all that has been bothering her?_

"It's not that I don't have a gift for you," he sighed. "It's just that… Well, I didn't really know what to give you at first. Also, I remembered that your birthday is just a week from Christmas, so I thought that maybe I should just combine the gifts for different occasions in one. I wasn't able to give it to you this morning because I was weighing if I should just give it to you on your birthday instead."

Actually, the reason he was not able to give it in the morning was because it was not ready yet, which was why they did not see Natsume the whole afternoon. He has been waiting for the gift he ordered for her to be finished. But he's not about to explain how he spent his afternoon, because it would only seem like he really fussed about it—which he did.

"I see," She nodded understandingly. "Thank you, Natsume."

"Why are you thanking me already? I haven't given you the gift. We still don't know if you would like it."

"The point is that you did not forget about me and, also, you remembered my birthday."

Natsume felt his cheeks flushed because of her words.

He cleared his throat. "My turn."

"Okay. What is your question?"

There was something that he has been wondering about ever since Mikan started dating.

"You've been to six—seven, dates by now. Do you… Well, do you like any of those guys you went out with?"

She shrugged, "I might."

His eyebrows cringed at her answer. "What do you mean you might?"

"Well, they all seemed nice. It's not impossible for me to like one of them."

He remembered the red head guy in the Dining Hall.

He swallowed before asking, "Is it that Kimura guy?"

He could still play in his mind how intently the guy looked at Mikan. Natsume had the impulse to burn the guy's hair just thinking that they met right under his nose. He also wanted to knock himself on the head because if he agreed to accompany her on her Christmas shopping, she would have not met the annoying handsome guy. The guy surely would not have even thought to approach her and tell her that she has a lovely smile.

Natsume braced himself for her answer.

She smiled, "He is really nice, and a gentleman, too. I had fun having tea with him."

"Are you gonna go on a second date with him?"

Mikan shifted to look up at him. "That's three questions already."

"Fine, you could ask me two consecutive questions after you answer."

She went back to her original position, looking at the snow through the window instead. "If he asks me, I don't see a reason why not."

Silence.

Natsume was having hard time breathing. He could feel something heavy on his chest, and it was not her head.

His voice was cold when he said, "So what are your questions?"

She did not reply immediately. He thought she was just thinking of what to ask him.

"Actually, I only have one question left." Hesitating she asked, "Earlier, under the mistletoe… Why did you… why did you do that?"

Knowing what she was talking about he replied casually, "It's just tradition. Besides they would not stop teasing if we won't comply."

"So it didn't mean anything," her voice was so soft like she was saying it more to herself than to him.

He did not expect that reaction from her. Did she just sound disappointed?

_It can't be. More like relieved, probably, _he thought. _She doesn't want it to mean anything. Then so be it._

"It's no big deal," he felt her stiffened under his embrace. "It's not like we have never kissed before."

It was also Christmas when they kissed the first time. It was an accident really. She tripped and dragged him in the process. When they fell, his lips landed on hers.

It was a good thing that no one saw what happened. It was awkward between them for how many days. Then, it was like they had a silent agreement to just pretend it never happened. They never talked about it – never brought it up – until now.

She sighed, "Right, no big deal."

_Why am I annoyed that she just agrees to what I say?_

"Natsume,"

"Yeah?"

"Thank you."

He was caught off guard. "For what?"

"Actually, I was glad you're here. At least I won't be alone. It's lonely when it's dark."

He jeered, "Just say you're actually afraid of the dark."

She smiled in admission, "I am afraid of the dark."

He remembered during the Alice Festival, she was so scared of the darkness and the illusions when they entered the Haunted House of the Latent Ability Class. That was also another good memory—being stuck with her and hearing all her whimpering.

"Merry Christmas, Natsume."

"Merry Christmas… Mikan." But she did not hear it anymore. She was already fast asleep.

Natsume watched her snoring lightly. He smiled.

_Even when she's sleeping, she manages to make me feel better._

Just a while ago, he was feeling irritated with the information he was getting from her.

He was not happy to know that she is willing to go on a second date with the red head. He was surely not happy of the possibility that she would like him as more than friends. And he's definitely uncomfortable with the thought that Mikan was actually relieved that their kiss under the mistletoe was no big deal.

He gently tucked, behind her ear, strands of hair that were blocking her pretty face. A face that still smiles even when asleep.

It annoyed him before. When she first set foot in the Academy, it annoyed him how she could still smile even with all the things they did to her. That smile annoyed him, but at the same time, that smiley face brought warmth into his heart.

That smiling face makes his heart beats faster.

Lately, she was all he ever thought about. He was starting to care a big deal about her. He has always admitted to himself that he likes her—but, now, it seems that his heart could not stop beating for her.

Pulling himself to the present, he looked at Mr. Bear, who seemed to be really listening to him.

"When I woke up this morning, I didn't have the usual immediate urge to push her away. Instead, I wanted to keep her close. I wanted the night not to end."

He sighed, "It was something that I feel that I could really get use to."

_But there are complications._

If Mikan becomes his girlfriend, Persona would surely find out. When he does, she would only be in danger. He would use her to make him follow his orders.

_I would have less room to disobey him._

Right now, he could still get away from him. The reason why he was not in missions lately was because he was putting up a rebellious attitude towards Persona.

"You prefer talking to Mr. Bear instead of your bestfriend?"

Natsume found Ruka on the other side of the gazebo, leaning on the column. His hands were tucked in his pockets, and he was looking straightforward instead of him.

"How long have you been standing there?" he queried casually, trying to hide the embarrassment.

"Long enough."

Ruka straightened and sat opposite to him.

Natsume was waiting for his friend's litany about him and Mikan, but it did not come.

"Well?" he urged.

The blonde boy just looked at him puzzled. "Well, what?"

"Aren't you going to say anything? No comments?"

Ruka grinned mischievously, "Are you ready to admit yet?"

His brow rose on its own, "Admit what?"

"That you're _in love_ with Mikan," he uttered matter-of-factly. "You did admit before that you like her, but not enough to say you love her. Because you never really realized her worth until somebody has challenged the status quo. Now, there's a threat of losing her, just when you 'want to keep her close.'"

Natsume was stupefied, but he's not about to show it.

"Where exactly do you get all these ideas?" the raven-haired boy had to ask.

Ruka smiled, "You're not spending your time with a girl named Hotaru. That's how she described your 'pathetic' situation with her bestfriend."

"Are you implying that Sakura and I are a topic of discussion during your dates?"

"Well, yeah. Your story is quite entertaining, if I may tell you."

"I can't believe this." Natsume sighed shaking his head.

"So am I gonna hear any admission this morning?"

"I don't think so," Natsume hissed and pretended to _continue_ reading his manga. But really, he was thinking that his bestfriend just hit the bull's eye. So he was hit pretty hard, what now? Does it really change anything?

Ruka only sighed and turned to the little stuffed toy listening to them.

"Some people are just plain stubborn," he said with a shrug.

------------------------- ----- -------------------------

"You look like an idiot smiling to yourself," Hotaru commented.

Mikan was startled to find that Hotaru has joined her at the breakfast table without realizing it.

"I wasn't smiling," she replied blushing. "I mean, what's new? I'm always smiling."

Hotaru looked at her weighing whether to comment on her statement, but decided against it. She, instead, focused her attention to her own plate and started on the pancakes.

Mikan, however, was still rattled on the fact that she was unconsciously smiling for no reason at all.

_Well, there is a reason, _she thought as she glanced on the silver wrapped around her right hand. _Why am I being like this? I can't stop smiling and feeling excited. _

"Are you going to eat those?" her bestfriend asked pointing at the three strips of bacon on her plate.

She shook her head and offered it to her. _I don't even have the same appetite for food anymore. _

She felt like there were little butterflies in her stomach, which left no more room for breakfast.

_Could this mean…?_

"Uhm, Hotaru," Mikan hesitantly turned to the girl happily eating beside her. "Can I ask you something?"

The raven-haired swallowed her last bite of bacon before she replied, "What?"

"This is completely hypothetical, okay?"

"Sure."

Mikan took a deep breath and calmed the butterflies in her stomach, "How… how exactly… ah… would you know if you're… in love with someone?"

Hotaru drew her brows together, sensing something else, "It _is_ hypothetical, right?"

"Totally," she answered too hastily, which only caused more suspicion on her bestfriend's part. "I mean, based on personal experience. How did you know that you're in love with Ruka?"

"Who says I'm in love with him?" she replied nonchalantly. "I'm only keeping him because he's quite handy, especially with carrying things around."

"How could you say such a thing? He's your boyfriend," Mikan could not believe what she just heard. She instantly felt pity for the blonde boy.

"Idiot! I was only kidding," Mikan found her bestfriend's sense of humor weird. She really sounded pretty serious back there.

"I don't think it's something to joke about, Hotaru."

She only shrugged in reply, and went back to her breakfast.

"Why are you asking me anyway?" Then she showed her _evil_ grin, which could not mean good for Mikan. "Did something happen?"

"What?!" Mikan's face was suddenly as red as poinsettia leaves during Christmas season, and words just spilled out of her. "No, no, of course not. Nothing happened. Why would you say that something happened? I mean, you said so yourself that I was smiling, right? Smiling is a good sign. It's a sign that nothing is wrong. Why would you be smiling if something's wrong? Unless you're crazy—not that I'm saying I'm crazy. I'm not—crazy. You see, I'm alright, just dandy. So no, nothing—happened."

Hotaru nodded knowingly, "You're in love with Hyuuga then."

Mikan could not be any more flushed than she already was, "Hotaru, why would you assume that? That's not why I asked you about love. I was just curious, that's all."

"Right," she replied in a sarcastic tone. "Do you really expect me to believe that? I've told you before, and I'll tell you again: you're obvious."

She crossed her arms, determined to win this fight, "I don't know what you're talking about."

"I know you do."

Mikan's jaw dropped. She was searching for mean words in her mind to shut her friend, but Nonoko beat her to it.

"Hey, you two! The boys are asking if we want to play in the snow." She joined their table with Anna and Sumire.

"Honestly," the latter blurted. "Don't you, guys, ever get tired? I think we should just leave the snow to the kids. Unless, of course, we're talking about a romantic stroll with a handsome prince."

Mikan found this as an opportunity to dodge their topic about _love_. To show enthusiasm, she raised her right hand and said, "I love playing in the snow. Let's go, girls!"

But as she was to stand, Sumire caught her arm, "Hold up!"

"What is it?" she asked.

"What's this?" the cat-dog Alice girl shook her arm dangling the silver around her wrist.

Mikan felt the little butterflies fluttering again, "It's a bracelet."

The other two otaku sisters broke into "Oohs" and "Ahhs" upon noticing it for the first time.

"Is it a gift, Mikan?" Anna queried in her usual sweet voice.

She nodded as she retrieved her hand from Shouda. She started to blush again, remembering how she found the gift on her bedside.

When she woke up that morning, she was alone. Natsume was gone, and the heater was working again.

She was then facing the window and the space that he vacated. When she turned, a small box on the end table beside her panda lantern caught her attention. It did not have a ribbon, but it has a little note saying:

_Might as well give this to you now. _

She picked up the box and examined it. It was rather small to contain a hanky. The size and the proportion were quite wrong for a piece of cloth.

Mikan sat up and opened the box agitatedly. She said that it really did not matter if Natsume gives her gifts or not, but she could not conceal her excitement. In fact, her excitement only grew when she saw a bunch of silver.

With shaking hands, she slowly produced a silver chain with dangling Sakura flower in stained glass and silver letters: N, A, K, I, M.

Excitement growing, she held the charm bracelet on each end confirming her hunch. The letter charms spell MIKAN, and the flower stands for her last name Sakura.

"I knew I'll like it," Mikan held it to her heart. "Thank you, Natsume."

Hotaru pulled her back from memory lane, "Is that from Hyuuga?"

Mikan could only nod, as her other friends cheered her.

"See, Mikan, he did not forget about you," the pink-haired girl commented.

Mikan was afraid to have their topic sail back to what she and Hotaru were talking about. She was just not comfortable discussing her feelings for Natsume—not that she was saying she actually feels something for him. At least, she was not certain just yet.

"But how come he gave you a bracelet, when he gave us hankies?" Sumire asked maliciously.

A good thing she has an answer to that, "Well, he said that it's both a Christmas and a Birthday present."

The girls seemed to accept that, except for Hotaru, of course, but she did not say anything.

"But wait a minute," Sumire held up a finger towards Mikan. "Birthday?"

"Oh, that's right," said Anna enthusiastically, clasping her hands together. "Your birthday's on New Year."

"That's less than a week from now!" Nonoko exclaimed.

"You've got to have a party," Sumire announced like it was a matter of life and death.

Her bestfriend thought it was a good idea, especially since it's her sixteenth birthday.

So Mikan considered it for a minute, and then finally agreed.

_At least their focus would be at the party, and not about my gift from Natsume and its implications._

This was proven by Nonoko and Sumire who were already talking about catering and decorations like they were planning their own birthday party and not Mikan's.

"Well, I guess, I'll just tell the guys that we won't be playing in the snow with them." When Mikan and Hotaru nodded, Anna excused herself from the group.

------------------------- ----- -------------------------

For the past three days, the girls have been busy preparing for Mikan's birthday bash. It was all they ever talk about, even at the lunch table.

"You're really having a party?" Natsume asked the unbelievably quiet brunette beside him.

She only nodded in reply. She seemed occupied again, he thought.

"Do you have enough rabbits to pay for it?"

He was thinking that even if her allowance has increased after gaining another star two years ago, organizing a party is still too expensive for her.

It was Nonoko who answered in behalf of Mikan, "Well, there are quite a number of people who pitched in for her birthday."

"Yeah," Anna intercepted. "Like Hotaru and Ruka. Even Mr. Narumi, Mr. Misaki and Ms. Yamada contributed."

Nonoko added that Mr. Noda was also supposed to pitch in, but before he was able to give them the rabbits, he disappeared—sucked into some time warp again.

Five years and that still happen to the Special Abilities Class Adviser. Natsume thought that it must be hard to have such an Alice like his.

He also thought that it seemed like a lot of people were enthused by the party for Mikan if even some members of the faculty offered help. But he was really not surprised. It is easy to be engulfed by Mikan's warmth.

Looking at her, however, made him think that something's not quite right. Mikan was not as energetic as she usually is.

"You seem to be the most excited birthday celebrant I know," he commented sarcastically.

Mikan looked at him for the first time during that lunch. She blushed when she met his eyes, which made her look away instead.

"I am excited," she muttered.

Natsume smirked, "Yeah, I could really hear the enthusiasm in your voice."

"Is there something wrong, Mikan?' Ruka asked knowing what his bestfriend really wanted to say.

Mikan only shook her head, and flashed them a smile to emphasize it.

"She's probably thinking about someone," Hotaru mumbled to herself, but it did not go unheard to her friends—to Mikan's horror.

"Someone?" Sumire started raking her head for who could that mystery person be.

"I'm not thinking about anyone," she denied afraid that a "Bingo!" sign would flash above them.

"I know!" Sumire exclaimed, making Mikan's heart jump out. "It's Tetsuya that has been occupying your mind, isn't it?"

For some reason,—and Natsume knew what—the boys turned to him in unison. His fists clenched on its own under the table.

On the other hand, jaws of Mikan and Hotaru dropped. Sumire actually missed the target by quite a few tables and a building away. Mikan was appalled by it, not understanding where Sumire got her idea.

"You see, yesterday," Sumire started to explain. "While we were buying decorations for the party, we bumped into Tetsuya in Central town."

_That guy is always around, especially around Mikan_, Natsume thought bitterly. _My Mikan._

"That's right," Anna continued. "He helped us with the shopping, and then he invited us for tea."

"He's really sweet, isn't he?" Nonoko had no idea she was adding fuel to the fire burning inside the raven-haired boy. "I wouldn't be surprised if Mikan is thinking about him."

Natsume was resisting the urge to walk-out. It would only give his feelings—rage, rather—away.

Mikan shook her head vigorously in defense, "What are you, girls, saying? I was not thinking about Tetsuya. It wasn't that at all."

"You weren't?" Sumire asked in disbelief. She turned to Kokoro, instead, mentally asking him to second that claim.

Kokoro only shrugged. It is not easy to read Mikan's mind nowadays. She has improved in unconsciously blocking his Mind-Reading Alice out.

"Oh, well," Sumire sighed in surrender. Then, as if she remembered something, her face lit up. "But you did invite him, right?"

Mikan could only nod.

"Great!" the Cat-Dog Alice shrieked.

_Yeah_, Natsume thought. _Just great._

* * *


	7. Why Should I Care?

**Ready To Fall **

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**_Author's Notes: _**_So this is the second-half of the original Chapter Six. _

_You're probably asking: Wait, there's another occasion? _

_Yes, there's another occasion coming your way. When I decided on my target dates, I didn't realize right away how many special events I would be face with. I decided not to include some of those, since, if I did, this whole story would be celebrating something after every chapter. However, I'm warning you now that there are two more occasions coming after this chapter._

_Anyway... Hope you'll like this chapter as well... Enjoy and don't forget to drop your reviews! (",)_**  
**

* * *

**Chapter 7: Why should I care**

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_Why should I care if you found somebody new?_

_And you look like you're in love._

_And why should I care if she looks a lot like me?_

_And she's all you've ever dreamed of._

_I didn't care enough to keep you around._

_So tell me why should I care now?_

_-'Why should I care' by Sara Evans-_

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* * *

**One month, three weeks and five days before that cold and empty night…**

It was Mikan's birthday.

It was held in a restaurant in Central Town called _Chocolate Touch_. It is a restaurant that specializes in chocolate buffet. Their main attraction in the table is the three-foot tall chocolate fountain. Around it are platters of various fruits that they could choose from to coat in the fountain.

Aside from the chocolate fountain, their dishes are also to die for. Mikan and the girls actually enjoyed the food tasting when they were deciding which ones they would have for the party.

It seemed like they made a good choice for the dish selection seeing that the guests were enjoying themselves.

Mikan has been going around from table to table checking if her guests needed anything, making sure that everyone has food and drinks.

Among the guests, aside from her close friends, were her classmates from Middle School Class B, students from Special Abilities Type, some guys who dated her before Christmas, and some faculty members.

Youichi also came with Mr. Bear. The eight-year old said that he was also going to bring Piyo, but he is too big for the venue. Mikan could only smile to the kid uneasily, imagining the disaster if the giant yellow chick was to show up in the party.

"Mikan, you should really stop fussing," Sumire said when she seized Mikan on her way to another table. "It's your birthday, so you should not be working like a waitress."

"I just want to make sure the guests are comfortable."

"They are. Trust me," Sumire insisted. "Now, go to your throne and the program is about to start."

"Program?" the celebrant blinked confused. She does not remember them discussing about any programs.

"Yes, program."

Sumire pushed Mikan to the make-shift stage, and sat her on a high chair placed at the stage right.

Everyone stopped eating when Sumire called their attention through the microphone.

The program started with a "Happy Birthday!" song for Mikan. Following shortly after was a stand-up comedy centering about Mikan by Kokoro and Mochu. Mikan almost fell from the chair for laughing her ass off.

Next were Anna and Nonoko who sang "You've Got A Friend" in duet. She was really touched, and almost cried.

Iinchou also did a number using his Illusion Alice, showing the skit Mikan did five years ago to earn enough money to buy fluff puffs. It was really funny, bringing back memories from five years ago.

If she and her guests enjoyed the performances so far, she was not sure about the next one, Youichi and Mr. Bear. Youichi recited a poem with Mr. Bear "acting it out". It reminded her of a TV show where there's a small ring in the screen. Inside it is a person translating whatever the host is saying into sign language for the deaf and mute. The little boy is also not the most energetic recitalist in the planet. Mikan could actually imagine him like a smaller version of Natsume delivering a sonnet written by Shakespeare. That made Mikan giggled.

_As if he would ever read anything with feelings_, she thought.

When the two bowed to the audience, everyone was silent for at least ten seconds, until Ruka started clapping and everyone else followed.

"Well, that was some treat, huh?" was the comment of the emcee Sumire as the little boy and the stuffed toy climbed down the stage. "Thank you Youichi and Mr. Bear." She turned to the birthday girl. "How did you like the program so far, Mikan?"

Mikan smiled amiably, "It's very… interesting."

"Well, I'm sure you'll find our finale more interesting," said Sumire as she turned back to the guests. "Before I call on our last performer, let me tell you first something about him. You see, this whole program is actually a surprise to Mikan. We, her close friends, planned this behind her back. However, this last one, I handled personally. Two days ago, I was walking near the fountain at the back of the High School Building, when I heard someone playing the violin. I was so amazed, especially when I saw who it was. I wasted no time and asked him to play for Mikan on her birthday. He said that I don't even have to ask him twice." Sumire paused to hold the anticipation in the crowd. "So who's this mystery guy? Ladies and gentlemen, with no further introductions, please welcome… Tetsuya Kimura!"

Mikan's eyes grew wide when the handsome red-head stepped out from the backstage holding a beautiful wooden violin.

Before he got into position, he borrowed the microphone from Sumire and turned to Mikan giving her the sweetest smile, "Happy birthday, Mikan! This one's for you. It's entitled 'Runaway'."

From the moment the bow stroked the strings, up to when he hit the last note of the coda, everyone, especially the birthday celebrant, was hypnotized by the harmony.

Mikan was indeed surprised to know that Tetsuya was not only good-looking, but he's also quite talented. She could not stop thinking how bonded he seems to be with his instrument. His stance, his profile, all added to his appeal.

Tetsuya even received a standing ovation from the crowd when he bowed to them.

------------------------- ----- -------------------------

Everyone loved Tetsuya's performance. Everyone, except maybe for Natsume, who could not help but abhor the red-head, especially when he saw how astounded Mikan was as he played the violin.

The whole time, he was holding back the urge to swallow the wooden instrument in flames.

But what really set him off was that the red-head has been on Mikan's tail ever since Shouda closed the program. He was even sitting next to Mikan in their table—on Natsume's _chair_.

"Are you alright, Natsume?" Ruka asked him in almost a whisper.

"I'm fine," he replied coldly.

Ruka only shrugged and shifted his focus back to his girlfriend.

To divert his attention, the raven-haired boy focused on his food, but he has lost his appetite to eat it. From time to time, his ears were burning, especially when the celebrant and the violinist were laughing to something only _they_ know.

_Control, Hyuuga_, he tried to tell himself, and sighed secretly. _I should be the one beside her—the one talking to her. I should be telling her—._

"I'm sorry, Mikan, but I have to go," Natsume's head automatically tipped back upon hearing the best news for the night.

"I really love to stay, but I promised my younger sister that we'll spend the New Year together," Tetsuya explained. "She's in elementary," he added as he got up.

"That's just sweet," was Sumire's reaction. Apparently, this little fact added to Kimura's appeal.

"I understand," said Mikan smiling.

"Well see you, guys, around," then he turned back to the birthday girl and leaned forward to peck her cheek. "Happy birthday again, Mikan."

Natsume watched in horror as Mikan's gaze followed Tetsuya. She was evidently blushing.

_It was just a kiss on the cheek. Why does she have to be flushed because of it?_ Natsume yapped mentally. _I kissed her on the lips, and that seemed to be no big deal._

------------------------- ----- -------------------------

After Tetsuya left, Mikan's other guests also started leaving, since it was already getting late. Even Youichi said he had to go back to the dormitory before it gets really dark. Mikan thanked them all before settling herself back to her friends' table.

Eventually, they were the only ones left.

"So, Mikan," started Nonoko. "Did you have fun on your birthday?"

"I did. I really did," she replied beaming. "Thank you everyone! Today has been a blast."

Right just then, the manager of the restaurant approached their table and offered them a platter of little fudge cakes called _Choco Rhumble_. He said that it was a new addition to their menu.

Mikan thanked the manager and dug in. At first bite, she tasted something bitter but, as she chewed on, she actually liked it, and reached out for her second piece.

Only the celebrant seemed to be enjoying the treat.

Incidentally, she was also getting more hyper and more talkative than she usually is, especially after her fifth slice.

"I really liked your song, Anna, Nonoko," she said dynamically, motioning her hands along.

"Thank you, Mikan," Anna replied seemingly embarrassed.

But Mikan went on, "You've got a friend? The song is very right. I've got a friend—friends actually, because I don't only have one." She was waving her hand as she spoke as if she was conducting an orchestra. "And I know that… that I could always rely on you, guys. So don't forget that you could also rely on me."

Her friends were all looking at her weirdly when she started swaying as she spoke.

When Mikan stifled a hiccup, Natsume suspected something that cannot be good. He seized her arm as she was about to take another bite of the fudge cake.

Even if he was not really fond of sweets, he took the cake from her and sampled it. His suspicion was immediately confirmed as he tasted something bitter.

"These cakes have alcohol in it," he announced acrimoniously.

They gasped at that, and looked at Mikan who was smiling foolishly.

"Just to prove I'm a real friend, I help you Nonoko. I help you," she then turned to Kokoro who was sitting across from her. "You! You know for mind-reader, you quite dense."

"Uhm, Mikan—," Nonoko started to protest, nervous of what she was about to say.

"Dense!" her voice only increased by a decibel, making Nonoko and Kokoro flinched. "You're like the other guys. Didn't you know that she—Nonoko—is actually—,"

"Okay, that's enough," Natsume cut her off—to Nonoko's relief. "Party's over."

But it was too late for Kokoro, since he has already involuntarily mind-read from the girls' minds what Mikan was about to say. And he was left all-red, which was matched by Nonoko's face from the other end of the table.

"I'll bring her back to the dormitory," he asserted as he hoisted her arm over his shoulders and supported her on the waist. "You, guys, take care of the rest here."

"We'll go with you," said Hotaru dragging her boyfriend along. Ruka, then, helped his bestfriend with the intoxicated Mikan by supporting her on the other side.

"We'll take care of the gifts and the bill," Iinchou stepped in, his leader-side kicking to the surface.

The birthday celebrant, however, did not seem to agree with what was going on, "What dormitory? I still have my party." Then she posed as if thinking, "This is my party, right? Yeah, my birthday party. So why are we leaving? What about my guests?"

"Your guests already left, Mikan," Hotaru sighed in disbelief. Who would have thought that her friend has a very low tolerance for alcohol?

"Left? Why? Is it not a good party?" she turned her head towards Ruka. "Ruka, is that you? You know Hotaru really loves you."

Ruka laughed, amused of what the brunette has just said. However, his girlfriend was not thrilled, and resisting the urge to use her baka gun on her bestfriend and her boyfriend.

Mikan only continued, "But, you know, she said that she only keeps you because you're handy, especially when carrying things around."

Now it was Hotaru's turn to laugh.

"Hotaru," Ruka pouted to the apple of his eyes.

Then Mikan shifted to Natsume, "Natsume, hi! You know you are sweet. You're like those Choco… Choco… what are they called again? Choco Rhumble! Can we bring some of those fudge cakes?"

Natsume just smirked, "No more Choco Rhumble for you—ever."

------------------------- ----- -------------------------

Mikan has been babbling in the bus from Central Town to the Middle School Dormitory. Even when they dropped her to her bed, her mouth did not falter.

"Hotaru," she watched her bestfriend relieved her own feet from her shoes. "Why didn't you sing for me? You have a good voice. I remember when we won before at the karaoke contest."

"That was a long time ago, Mikan."

"She needs cold compress," said Natsume with a hint of concern in his voice.

"I'll ask the dorm mother for an ice bag," his bestfriend volunteered and left the room.

Seeing Mikan red from drunkenness, Natsume could not help feeling over-protective. He made a decision that she would never ever touch any alcoholic beverage in the future.

"I'll see if she has a towel and a basin," he told Hotaru and went to the bathroom. He found a plastic basin under the sink and started filling it with water. Afterwards, he got a face towel from the rack and submerged it in the liquid.

"She's fine," he didn't realize that Hotaru followed him to the bathroom. "There's no need to worry."

Natsume only sneered, "I'm not worried."

"Right," she replied mockingly. "Well, then." She straightened from leaning at the doorway. "I'll just check what's taking Ruka so long."

He only nodded to her, and carried the basin towards Mikan as Hotaru closed the door.

Mikan seemed asleep and silent for the first time that night. He sat at the side of the bed and watched her for a minute.

"I'm not worried," he mumbled trying to convince his self. It was not like she was sick and dying. She was just a little tipsy. She would definitely be fine—just probably a hang-over in the morning. _Then why am I worried?_

He squeezed the excess water on the towel, and started wiping Mikan's face gently.

"Cold," she muttered. She slowly opened her eyes and stared at the ceiling. "You know what, Hotaru? You're actually right."

Natsume's hand stopped in mid-air. Mikan was probably talking to Hotaru before she left, and she did not notice that her bestfriend was no longer in the room.

"You're always right, aren't you?" she continued still not looking at him. "You were right when you said I like him. You're also right when you said I love him."

Natsume froze. He almost felt his heart stopped for a full five-second. _What is she talking about?_

"The first time I met him, I really didn't like him—not at all. But really, he's a nice guy. Recently, I'm always thinking about him, especially after Christmas. I think he cares about me more than he admits. I'm not sure yet though."

He was weighing whether he was going to tell her he's not Hotaru, but curiosity got the best of him. _Who is Mikan in love with?_

"Are… you… talking about… Tetsuya?" he held his breath, both afraid and anxious to hear the answer.

Mikan fell silent for a while.

"Tetsuya?" she smiled. "Yeah, he's really nice, isn't he? And he's really sweet and talented. Did you hear the music he played for me at my party? He's also very handsome, tall, and he has those gray eyes. He's really something. He's very different from Natsume. They're like east and west."

_So it is Tetsuya._

Natsume did not know that he dropped his hand with the towel on his hip. He also did not feel that he was using it to release his frustration. Realizing this, he placed the now-dried scrunched steaming piece of terry cloth at the rim of the basin.

"Wait, Hotaru," Mikan uttered with cringed brows. She was oblivious to the fire burning inside the guy she thought was her bestfriend. "Your voice sound deeper than usual." She giggled and, before dozing off, added, "You're actually starting to sound like Natsume."

_Because I am Natsume, you idiot!_

He stood and stepped away from the bed—away from her.

He did not know what to feel. He wanted to be angry with her, but he could not help blaming himself.

_You knew this would happen. Now it has, what are you gonna do, Hyuuga?_

The revelation, he felt, was crushing his chest. He has to be somewhere else right that moment. He could not stay alone with her, but he also could not just leave her alone.

"We have the ice bag," Ruka announced—to his relief—when he opened the door and stepped in. He was followed shortly by Hotaru, who went straight to Mikan and placed the cold compress on her forehead.

"Are you alright, Natsume?" his bestfriend asked him sounding concern.

_No. I think I could really use an ice bag as well and some aspirin tablets_, he wanted to tell him but he only nodded.

"I… I have to go."

At least Mikan would not be alone anymore if he leaves. He just had to get out of there.

"Are you sure you're okay?" Natsume looked from the blonde to the raven-haired, who was apparently staring at him like she could see right through him.

_No, I'm not okay_. But he said "Yeah."

He did not wait anymore for their reply, and walked out of the room.

He sighed after closing the door behind him, "I should really stop ending up in this room."

When he left her room that morning after Christmas, he was already almost admitting his secret feelings for her. But as he left her room that night, he figured that it was a one-way road. No reason to make his secret known after all.

* * *

_**Author's Notes: **(currently hiding behind a sofa, peeking from time to time) Is it over?_

_So what do you, guys, think? I really want to know what you think. Good or bad, it's okay..._

_**Credits: **_"Mikan almost fell from the chair for laughing her ass off."_ Got the idea from WizdomGoddess. Hope you don't mind, it just popped in my mind while thinking of how Mikan should react to Kokoro and Mochu's performance._

_**Next Chapter: **Someone's worried. Someone's stinking jealous and utterly irritated with someone irritating. Someone would finally think about asking someone out. Who are these "someone's"?_

_Can you feel the cold air coming? Yes, it's almost here. First, something would cause a fire. Then, someone would be confused; another would be jealous. Next, a rumor spreads. Finally...  
_

_I think I just said too much... I'm zipping it now.  
_


	8. Maybe It's Wrong

**Ready To Fall**

**

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**

_**Author's Notes: **Finally, I'm writing again! Yey! I fnished my school work earlier than I anticipated. I actually had a little problem writing this chapter, because everytime I start typing, the bed is dragging me to sleep. I guess all those school work drained my energy. Thanks to a doze of caffeine, it kept me up long enough to finally finish this chapter. _

_Before I proceed, I would like to acknowledge first some of the reviews from the previous chapter:_

Pink Fire101:_ Thanks. I agree, poor Natsume. It's actually just really beginning for him. Really poor Natsume. Hehe..._

kagome's heart102: _I don't know if for the following chapters you'll still feel bad for him, or you'll just want to knock his head._

kyousuke21: _What's up? Hehe... I just realized, that part of your review when you said something about Natsume starting to spread around school that he likes Mikan, I actually had that on my other fan fiction about those two, which I didn't upload because I did this one instead. The way Natsume did it, he received a nice slap from Mikan. Hmm... maybe I should also upload that story. _

SakuraxHyuuga: _I hope the suspense has not yet eaten all of you. Kidding! Hehe... Actually, the answer to your question was implied on Chapter 6, when Mikan and Hotaru talked, morning after Christmas. Anyway, it would be clearly stated here, so no worries. Okie dokie? Hehe..._

flora0moonstone: _I know, right? If they just admit it, then the world would probably become a better place. sighs_

FlamingSmoke: _Mikan is leaving Natsume? Oh, I hope not. Hehe... I agree, though. Natsume is an idiot. Apparently, he also agrees._

_That being said and done, just some clarifications... I said on my notes at the end of Chapter 7 that "Someone's worried. Someone's stinking jealous and utterly irritated with someone irritating. Someone would finally think about asking someone out." The first three someones would be seen in this chapter. However, due to some change of plans, the last someone would have to wait... not too long, though. So no worries, okay?_

_Okay, enough with my usual babbling, because I'm sure you want to read what happens next already. So here it is... _

**

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**

**Chapter 8: Maybe it's wrong**

----- # -----

_Maybe it's wrong to say please love me to, 'cause I know you'll never do._

_Somebody else is waiting there inside for you._

_Maybe it's wrong to love you more each day, 'cause I know he's here to stay._

_But my love is strong. I don't know if this is wrong._

_But I know to whom you should belong._

_-'Maybe' by Neocolours-_

----- # -----

**

* * *

One month, three weeks and four days before that cold and empty night… **

It was a gloomy Monday.

Mikan woke up with a headache. She felt like her brain was going to crack in two.

"It's like a big elephant is stepping on my head," she whined as she walked down the hallway of their dormitory by herself.

She wondered where her friends could be. They were not at the Dining Hall when she came down for breakfast. Then again, she was the only one in there because it was already late, yet still early for lunch.

She decided that they were probably outside playing with snow.

As she continued towards the hall, she tried to recall what happened after her birthday party.

She remembered talking to Hotaru in her room. She was not certain if Hotaru actually called her an idiot for telling Ruka the joke about him being handy, and for telling him she really loves him. She even vaguely remembered her saying that maybe she could also admit her real feelings for Natsume. After that, Hotaru said that she would be back, so she stopped talking.

Then she felt something cold on her face, and knew Hotaru came back like she said.

She admitted. Yes. She cannot be mistaken. She really admitted to her bestfriend that she loves Natsume. She is in love with Natsume Hyuuga.

"I probably wouldn't hear the end of this, now that Hotaru already knows," that was when she spotted the object of her confession the night before. He was leaning to his side, staring through the window. He seemed to be deep in thoughts, Mikan thought.

Looking at him, Mikan blushed. She wondered if she would approach him or not. She decided the former.

"Hi, Natsume!" he did not notice her come, she concluded upon seeing the surprise on his face.

He looked away instantly. "H-how are you feeling?"

_Is he concern?_ her heart just smiled.

"Okay, I guess," she said. "Just a little headache."

Natsume smirked still not turning towards her, "That's what you get after getting drunk."

Now, her heart just pouted, "It's not like I intended to be drunk, you know." She fringed as a spasm of pain coursed through her head. "I didn't even know that there's alcohol in those treats."

"Such an idiot," he muttered finally looking at her, but only to yap at her afterwards. "You don't check what you put in your mouth. What if there's poison in it? You'll just drop dead then?"

Mikan could almost see negative aura flowing out of him. _Somebody woke up on the wrong side of the bed this morning._

"Why are you so cranky? You're even worse than a girl suffering from PMS."

His jaw tightened and his fists clenched.

He looked down and said bitterly, "Well, sorry if I'm not nice like Kimura."

Then he walked away, leaving Mikan confused than ever, "What's his problem?"

"Ouch! Ouch!" another shot of pain reached her head. "This is all Natsume's fault. He's only giving me more headaches. I was just supposed to ask him where the others are."

She could only sigh as she watched his back fade through the other end of the hall.

------------------------- ----- -------------------------

Something has changed. Mikan knew it—felt it. It was not just her feelings for Natsume. He also seemed to have changed.

She tried her best to be normal around him—to not give away her real feelings. Well, it has been easy since he barely said or talked about anything, even during meals. He barely gave snotty comments recently, and when he did, he seemed to be a little edgy, and usually ended up walking out after that.

Like that afternoon, four days after the birthday bash, Sumire was telling everyone that she bumped into Tetsuya and invited them all for tea. With the girls being more enthusiastic, they all agreed on the idea, except for Natsume who said, "What is it with that guy always inviting for tea? Why can't he invite for coffee for a change, or a soda?" He then smirked, "I would rather read myself to bore." That was all and he walked out, without even finishing his lunch.

"What's wrong with Hyuuga?" Hotaru asked her boyfriend who was sitting next to her.

Ruka only shrugged as they watch the Black Cat walk away.

Mikan was getting worried with him—not like she was never worried before. It was just that she was starting to see the old Natsume again. Grumpy and loner. And she did not like it.

"Did you do something?" Hotaru asked when they were the only ones left in the table.

Ruka went after Natsume, while Sumire called the rest to stroll around Central Town as they wait for Tetsuya. Hotaru, however, said that she and Mikan will just wait for Ruka for awhile.

But Mikan was thinking that Hotaru wanted to interrogate her, so she told their friends to go ahead. Nevertheless, she was taken aback by the sudden question of her bestfriend. That was not the kind of interrogation she expected.

"What do you mean?"

"With Hyuuga?" she pointed out.

"What would I do to him?"

"That's what I'm asking you."

"I don't know what you're saying, Hotaru," Mikan sighed. "I don't know what's wrong with him. He won't tell me—not that he has been talking to me."

"I see," muttered Hotaru as if understanding what has been going on.

If she knows something, Mikan wants to find out, "What do you see?"

"Huh?" Hotaru looked at her like she has forgotten that Mikan was sitting there with her. "I'm not sure yet. I'll have to confirm it first."

"Hotaru," Mikan started whining. "If you know something, you better tell me right now."

"I know a lot of things, but I don't proclaim theories unless they are proven," that was all and Hotaru stood from her seat. "I'll go look for Ruka."

"Wait," she hurriedly followed her bestfriend. "Don't just leave me."

As they quietly walked along the hallway, Mikan was studying the raven-haired girl.

She remembered again their conversation on the night of her birthday. She was so sure that after her confession to Hotaru, her bestfriend would be endlessly teasing her, but, so far, she has not said anything about it.

_Something is not right._

"Uhm, Hotaru?" she hesitated.

"What?"

"When you brought me to my room after my birthday, did we talk?"

Hotaru thought about it, "Yeah. I think we did."

"What did we talk about?" she asked too hastily, which caused suspicion on the raven-haired

Hotaru halted on her tracks and faced the flustered brunette. "Why?"

"I… well," she tumbled on her words. "I just… it was kind of vague—my memory. So, you know."

The suspecting girl crooked an eyebrow towards her, but sighed despite of it.

"Let's see," her face went back to her old stoic explanatory face, which Mikan finds kind of weird. "After we brought you to your bed, I removed your shoes. You said something about me singing. I told you it was a long time ago. Then, I called you an idiot for telling Ruka those stuff."

Mikan thought that so far, her memory of the incident is consistent with Hotaru.

"I said that maybe you should confess about your feelings for Hyuuga while you're at it. Then left for a while. When I returned, you were already asleep."

"That was it?"

"Yeah."

Mikan tapped a finger on her chin as she said, "But I remember you putting something cold on my face."

"That must be the cold compress," she replied, and started walking again. "But you were asleep by then."

"Was I?"

_Then I actually didn't confess to Hotaru about my feelings?_

Mikan thought that she probably just dreamed about it. She felt both relieved and disappointed. Relieved because her secret was safe after all. Disappointed because she actually felt better after confiding to her bestfriend about it. But then it turns out that she really did not.

She could only sigh at that.

------------------------- ----- -------------------------

Classes resumed four days after that afternoon.

Everyone was back to their usual routine. Everyone except, maybe, Natsume.

Natsume has been trying his best to act normal around everybody, especially around Mikan. He has been trying to be impassive with regards to her revelation on the night of her birthday, but it was very close to impossible.

_He's very different from Natsume_, he kept remembering her statements. _They're like east and west._

He groaned and abruptly closed the poor manga in frustration.

He decided to skip his last class for that afternoon to be alone in the gazebo. He knew for sure Mikan would not like it. He probably would not hear the last of it at the dinner table tonight.

_Like she still cares, _a voice seemed to taunt him. _She probably didn't even realize you weren't there._

"Stop it, Hyuuga," he mumbled to himself as he leaned forward and caught his forehead with his hand. "Don't be pathetic."

It was not like he really wanted Sakura to be worried for him. It was probably a good thing that she stops fussing about him. She tends to be really annoying. At least, now, he would not expect her to be breathing on his neck each and every time.

_It is all for the best… right?_

"There you are," someone suddenly called from behind.

Natsume turned and saw Ruka and the other guys approaching. He almost forgot that they have an all-boys time after classes—another routine.

"Why weren't you at class, Natsume?" Iinchou asked concern as he sat opposite him.

"I got bored," he replied quietly.

Ruka gave him a curious look, "I thought you were done cutting classes?"

Natsume remembered who encouraged him to do what his bestfriend just said, and it made his temper suddenly rise.

"What is this? An interrogation?"

"Easy, Mr. Bear-in-the-making," joked Ruka. "I'm just asking. Not looking for a fight."

He sighed and calmed himself. _What's happening to me?_

"Where are the others?" he queried in a more hushed tone.

Apparently, the other guys were stunned with his sudden fume, which delayed their reactions.

It was Iinchou who recovered first, and almost stammered, "The g-girls were talking a-about studying with… T-Tet-su-ya." He paused and waited for Natsume's response. When he didn't say anything, he continued. "Sumire said that he offered to help them in Algebra and Chemistry."

"Mr. Know-it-all," Natsume mumbled inaudibly. "First, tea. Now, Algebra and Chemistry. What next, fashion design?"

"Are you saying something, Natsume?" Ruka asked.

"No," he snapped almost instantly. "Aren't you worried that Hotaru's hanging out with another guy?"

"Why would I be worried?" The blonde-boy with a rabbit could not hide a malicious smile towards him. "First of all, Kimura seems to be a nice guy."

"Too nice, it seems," Natsume mumbled under his breath.

"Second of all," Ruka continued ignoring the cranky boy's comment. "Clearly, it's not Hotaru he's interested in. Lastly, Hotaru is currently in her lab finishing her latest invention."

"Ruka's right, Natsume," said Mochu, who's finding his voice for the first time that afternoon. "He's a good guy. Koko and I actually know him even from before."

"Yeah," Yome agreed. "He's our senpai, you see. We don't meet him anymore in our Combination Classes, though, since he's already in High School. But he was really nice and helpful when he was still in those classes."

"He's from the Active Ability?" Ruka crooked his brows. "I thought he's probably in the Technology Type Class, since he plays the violin."

"No," said Mochu amused. "He's Alice is the Super-Strength."

"He learned to play the violin as part of his self-training to keep his Alice in control," added the mind-reader.

"That is amazing," Iinchou commented.

Natsume remained quiet throughout the conversation. The information he was getting was not making him more relieved. Kimura, apparently, has no flaw—he was getting more and more perfect and admirable not only to the girls, but even to the guys.

It was actually causing his blood to boil like the First Ring of the Seventh Circle of Hell.

He was struggling to hold on to the last ounce of control he has left to keep himself from melting the snow surrounding the gazebo.

------------------------- ----- -------------------------

Natsume's struggle continued at dinner time. He did not even have the time to swallow Mikan's remark about the class he skipped that afternoon when Shouda started admiring Kimura for his thoughtfulness and intelligence.

When he felt like his ear was going to explode, he excused himself from the group and headed to his room.

_Is this my punishment for everything I have done?_

He has been pacing the wide expanse of his room ever since he got there.

_She's supposed to be with me, right? She's not supposed to be hanging out with that irritating guy._

Natsume was unconsciously putting in and out a little fire at the palm of his hand as he paced.

_How dare he to just suddenly appear in our lives and ruin everything? _

Natsume kept convincing himself that he has spent five years with Mikan, while the red-head has been hanging around her for only less than a month. He neither deserves Mikan's concern nor her feelings.

Falling in love should take a lot more than a few cups of tea, a few strokes of the violin, a few quadratic equations, and a few elements from the periodic table!

Heck! It took him five long years of whining, yapping, and arguing to realize that he was already falling for the idiot.

_Stupid!_ he scolded himself mentally. _Five years?_

That was when he heard a gentle knock on his door.

"Who is it?" he barked before he could help himself.

"It's Ruka."

Natsume breathed deeply a few times to calm his nerves before letting his bestfriend in.

"What brought you here?" he asked as he slumped himself at the sofa facing the fireplace.

Ruka, who sat at the single couch adjacent to him, eyed the raven-haired closely.

"Something happened, Natsume," he stated in a serious tone. "I know you. It's just you and me now, so spill it."

Natsume looked away, "You're overreacting."

"I'm your bestfriend, and you know that you can tell me anything."

Natsume sighed, and decided that maybe it was high time that he let his friend know what has been bothering him—at least some of it, if not everything.

"That night of her birthday," he started, hiding his eyes behind his bangs. "Sakura said something. She thought I was Imai, and she said that she's… in love. I asked if it was Kimura, and she said yes."

"I see," Ruka nodded understandingly. "You're jealous."

His eyes grew wide from his statement.

"I'm not jealous," he snapped. At least he was not about to admit it. "It's just that I don't feel comfortable knowing someone's secret when she did not intend to share it with me. She thought I was Imai."

"Really?" he asked maliciously.

He instantly looked away to hide his red-stained cheeks, "Really."

Ruka fell silent, thinking.

"Are you sure she was talking about Tetsuya?"

"I asked her if she was, and she said yes," he answered.

"Hmm," a curious look reflected on the blonde boy's face. "She was tipsy and disoriented that night. Maybe you misunderstood her."

Now, it was Natsume's turn to be curious. "What do you mean?"

"A lot of what Mikan said that night were just ranting," he explained. "I mean, they did not really make any sense. Besides, I don't really see Mikan falling for Tetsuya—not yet, at least."

What was he saying? They were always talking about Kimura. It was always Tetsuya-this and Tetsuya-that, right?

When he told this to Ruka, his friend laughed.

"When did you ever hear Mikan talk about Tetsuya?"

Then it hit him.

_Never. _

Except for that night in her room, she never really mentioned anything about the red-head. It was only when he mentioned his name that Mikan talked about him. Unless someone provokes the conversation, she does not talk about him.

"Seriously, Natsume," Ruka was still grinning. "You're worrying about Tetsuya for nothing."

"Maybe you're right," he agreed before he even realized it.

"Wait!" he looked at Ruka and knew that he slipped. "I'm not worried about anyone, especially Tetsuya."

"Oh, are you denying it?"

"I'm not denying anything," he started pacing again as he defended himself. "There is nothing to deny because there is nothing to admit. I was only bothered by the fact that someone shared a secret to me unintentionally. That was all."

Ruka stood and headed for the door, "Try as you may, Natsume, but time will only tell when you can no longer deny that you're denying something that you should be admitting by now if you don't want what you're denying to be too late."

"_That_ didn't make sense."

Ruka only shrugged and left the room.

_Yet, he's probably right._

His bestfriend has a point. Maybe he misunderstood Mikan that night. Maybe she was not talking about Kimura. Maybe she was talking about someone else.

_But who?_

* * *

_**Author's Notes: **How was it? Please review... Hehehe... __I promise I'll upload the next chapter very, very, very soon. By the way, for those who don't know yet, I placed a link on my profile that leads to my page on another website. It's a fanart of Mikan and Natsume. Check it out and I hope you'll like it, 'cause I really love it. (",)_

_**Next Chapter:** Do you, guys, notice something? Love is in the air, especially for Mikan and Natsume (but both are too dense to see it). Those two just need a little push. So far, we have celebrated Christmas, New Year and Mikan's birthday. What's next? Maybe, it's the 'push' that they need._

_The countdown continues: only one month, two weeks and three days left..._


	9. Just so you know

**Ready To Fall**

* * *

**_Author's Notes: _**_I owe you, guys, the biggest apology of all. I am so sorry. If you have been reading my profile page, you'll somehow know the reason why I was not able to update for so long. Things are quite more stable now, so hopefully I could update this story little by little until it's ending. If ever, it takes me again a long time to update, just check my profile page, because I might have a message there about what could have happened. As I have said, do not worry, the story already has an ending. It is now just a matter of finding time to write it all down._

_Again, just like with Chapter 8, before I proceed, I would just like to acknowledge some reviews I received for the past two months:_

Kagome's heart102_ & _may520: _You, guys, are so right. Natsume is really dense. Most guys I know are naturally like that, or maybe they just pretend to be. Hmm..._

flora0moonstone: _I have heard somewhere that very intelligent guys tend to be kind of dumb when it comes to love._

spica-sakura:_ I take it as a good sign that you're getting nervous for this story. Hehe..._

Mican-chan:_ Quite an imagination. Hehe... I think, though, that we should give a little more credit to Tetsuya. I bet he wouldn't go running to Mikan like a baby after Natsume hurts him. Hehe... But that could be very interesting... (",) I know, I was late. so sorry.  
_

hyuuga jan: _Thanks. I'll keep up the good work!_

Jaizel: _Thank you for that. I hope you keep reading... (",)_

ladalada: _I know, so sorry. Anyway, it's here now. (",)  
_

Arahi Sakura: _Hello! Nice to read from you again. Thanks for the favorites. (",)_

megumi natsuyama: _I also agree with "myself". Hehe... Sometimes, I tell myself, "Why do I write the story that way, with all those complications and stuff?" But then again, there would be no story without them. Thank you for adding me to your favorites as well. (",)_

_Whew! It's hard to be away for a long while, since I have to reply to more people. Just a brief recap... In Chapter 8, we found out some of the someones. Someone's worried, if memory serves me correct, was Mikan; someone stinking jealous is obviously Natsume; while, someone irritating is also obviously Tetsuya Kimura, our red head. As for the last statement: "Someone would finally think about asking someone out", we'll finally find out in this Chapter. _

_Who are these remaining someones? Why don't we start reading, and don't forget to drop your reviews, guys..._

* * *

**Chapter 9: Just so you know**

----- # -----

_It's getting hard to be around you. There's so much I can't say._

_Do you want me to hide the feelings and look the other way?_

_And I don't know how to be fine when I'm not_

'_cause I don't know how to make a feeling stop._

_Just so you know, this feeling's taking control of me._

_And I can't help it. I won't sit around. I can't let him win now._

_-'Just so you know' by Jesse McCartney-_

----- # -----

* * *

**One month, two weeks and three days before that cold and empty night…**

It was a routine for the animal lover and the genius inventor.

Every morning, Ruka waits for Hotaru outside the Middle School Dormitory, and they would make their way to the school building together. She would be riding on her scooter and drive side by side with the walking blonde-boy.

The set-up looks pretty unfair, but Ruka never complains about it. He is happy enough as it is.

"So," Hotaru started their usual conversation in the morning. "Are we going to expect any confessions today?"

Ruka shook his head. She has been asking the same question for quite a while now, but his answer has always been the same.

"I didn't think so," she replied knowingly.

Ruka suddenly groaned in frustration, "If only we could tell Natsume that Mikan loves him, and vice versa, then this whole thing would be over."

"You know we can't do that," she pointed calmly despite him being rattled. "Besides, they haven't really admitted to us that yet."

"I know," he sighed. "But you should have seen Natsume. He was pacing. He never pace. He's always calm and cool. I also think he's really jealous with Tetsuya."

"Why?" she asked curiously.

"Exactly my point!" he exclaimed. "Maybe it would really help him if he knows that he actually stands a chance. Maybe it would give him the push that he needs to come to his senses."

"Honestly, I don't care much about Hyuuga," she said casually with a shrug. "I'm only in this for Mikan. I'm actually having second thoughts now. Your friend is becoming really moody lately. I don't know if I should still encourage Mikan on him."

"You're not serious, Hotaru, are you?" he asked wide-eyed. "There's a reason for Natsume's behavior lately. It could only be solved if those two come out in the open. We have known for how many years that they belong together, but they just don't see it."

"Maybe that's just it. Maybe they don't really belong together, if it is so hard for them to come clean with their feelings."

Hotaru has a point, and Ruka knew it. But he could not help feeling that he should do something. They are their bestfriends after all.

"How about we change tactic?" he suggested energetically. "Instead of trying to make Natsume admit to Mikan, let's do the other way around. Let's make Mikan admit to him."

"Seriously?" Hotaru stopped her scooter and eyed her boyfriend in disbelief. "Haven't you ever heard of a girl's integrity? Prudishness? Pride?"

"This is the modern world," he reminded pointedly. "Girls should also exert an effort in trying to build a relationship. It should not be solely up to guys when it comes to professing about love. It's not such a bad idea if flowers and chocolates come from the girls sometimes. Or the girls serenading the guys instead of the other way around."

His statement caused his girlfriend's eyebrow to rise.

"I hope you're not expecting me to give you flowers and chocolates, and serenade you in front of the student body, because you could just die hoping," that was all and she drove ahead leaving the blonde-boy behind.

"Hotaru!" he called after her. "That's not what I mean!"

He sighed and added silently, "Although that is not such a bad idea."

------------------------- ----- -------------------------

By the end of the week, Ruka was already losing hope. Maybe Hotaru was right. Maybe their bestfriends do not really belong to each other.

Natsume was still obviously jealous, but at least he has refrained from walking out on them every time the name Tetsuya or Kimura is mentioned.

Mikan, on the other hand, was still the same—being childish and fussing around everyone, especially his bestfriend.

He could not believe Natsume does not see the reasons behind her concerns for him.

Hotaru got another thing right—their relationship is pathetic. No matter how hard they argue and snap at each other, they still always sit next to each other at the dining table. They have obviously grown comfortable with each other, but they are too blinded to see beyond that zone. Ruka could not believe that there are actually living human beings who are that dense.

_I bet they could even defeat the Dead Sea when it comes to density, _the blonde-boy thought.

"Why is everyone so quiet?" Sumire suddenly commented at the lunch table. "Do you, guys, know what date it is today?"

Everyone just looked at her.

"It's January 14," still no one got the idea.

Frustrated, she explained, "Seriously, boys and girls. Don't you see, only exactly one month from today and it's already Valentine's Day!"

"What's the big deal?" Natsume uttered almost inaudibly.

Sumire sighed, and raised a finger to make her point, "Valentine's Day is the season when boys look for dates. It's the season for lovers. Aren't you even thinking about that? I mean you, guys, should be preparing for it by now."

"But, Sumire," Iinchou interrupted. "Didn't you say that Christmas is the season for lovers?"

"Tsk. Tsk. Tsk," she waved a finger towards the blonde-boy's spectacled eyes. "You weren't listening. I said Christmas is ONE of the seasons, but Valentine's is THE season. Got it?"

"Does that mean that you're already doing recon work for your prospect dates, Sumire?" Anna asked in her usual sweet voice.

"You bet, I am," she replied confidently. "A lot of girls are. So word of advice to you, boys, better make your plans earlier, and act faster if you don't want to end up dateless on that special day."

"You make asking someone out sounds easy," Mochu mumbled.

Ruka thought that, thankfully, he does not have to ask someone out, since he already knows that he is dating Hotaru for that day.

Then, he realized. _Valentine's Day!_

It is just probably what they need. What better time to bring two people together than Valentine's Day?

He looked at the mind-reader sitting opposite him from the table.

_This time, we need back-up_, he said mentally and smiled mischievously. _I guess a little slip would not hurt._

------------------------- ----- -------------------------

For the first time in few weeks, Natsume was seriously reading his manga. He was still bothered where a certain brunette is concerned, but he felt a little relieved after his talk with Ruka. He realized that all is not lost—yet.

There is one thing for sure though; Mikan Sakura is in love with someone. Who that someone is would be the question.

Natsume could not help thinking that there is a possibility—a probability that the "someone" she is in love with could be him.

_Is that a wishful thinking, Hyuuga? _he mocked himself mentally.

"I have this feeling," a female voice startled him from behind. "That you're mad at someone, and I'm afraid that someone might be me."

Natsume did not have to turn his back to know who it was. He could recognize that voice even from sleep. What surprised him, however, was that he did not feel her come. Persona would surely be disappointed on how low he lets his guard down, especially where a woman is concerned.

_What is it with people lately, _he commented internally passing a thought on how he also did not felt the guys came the other afternoon. _They just seem to pop out of nowhere. _

And to think that he is the Black Cat. He should be the one doing the quietly-sneaking-around, and not the one being sneaked at.

"What do you think?" the girl probed when he did not answer. "Should I be afraid?"

He closed his reading material and looked straight ahead. Hearing her voice made him remember again.

_Mikan is in love with someone, and that someone could be him._

This thought made his heart beat faster. He could hear the loud thump rhythmically in his ears.

How could he be angry with her when he does not know what to do if she is not with him? How could he neglect her when she is the one person who gives him warmth? How could he be mad at her? Maybe madly in love, yes.

"They say, silence means yes."

"No," he finally replied almost inaudibly. "I'm not mad at you."

He heard her release a sigh of relief.

"That's good to hear," she walked around to sit opposite him. "I thought you might be avoiding me."

Natsume shifted his eyes on her, but realized he could not look straight at her. Instead, he looked at his hands holding the manga he neglected once again.

"Why would I be avoiding you?" he smirked, hoping to sound normal even if his heart was trying to escape through his mouth. He almost smiled when he realized, "Even if I try to avoid you, you'll just try to find your way back to me."

Mikan smiled, amused by how Natsume stated it. He probably did not even realize how it sounded.

"That's right. I definitely will."

Natsume turned red hearing how sincerely she said it, and snapped at her to hide it.

"Where do you even get the idea that I'm avoiding you?"

Mikan knew she should feel angry with him for raising his tone at her, but instead she felt relieved. At least that was the normal Natsume, not the one who ignores her even when they sit next to each other.

"Never mind," she said smiling sweetly. "Forget it. So we are friends, right?"

For some reason, the word _friend _crushed his heart a little.

"Whatever," was his simple reply to her question even if his mind was exploding with contradictions.

_I don't want to be just friends_, he realized. After five long years, he just realized that he wants to be with her, and that he is not satisfied to be just her friend. To hell with his reasons and complications. He is going to be with Mikan Sakura no matter what. She is going to be his girlfriend.

"Good," she replied taking his answer as positive. "Well, since we are friends, would you tell me your deepest secret?"

He instantly looked at her as his heartbeat suddenly escalated. He felt like he was given the window to finally admit to her his deepest secret: he's in love with her. No, he's madly in love with her!

Natsume swallowed the lump on his throat and started opening his mouth.

"I…"

"Gotcha!" she exclaimed pointing at his dumb-founded face, and then laughed so hard that it probably echoed to the whole vicinity of the academy.

"You should have seen your face," she said still chuckling.

The nervousness the Black Cat was feeling suddenly turned into rage. Fortunately, he was able to control his temper before it totally snapped.

He looked away with a smug on his face trying to ignore her still audible giggle and snorts.

"I know you do not like personal questions like that, Natsume," she said still smiling at him.

Natsume was about to reply something mean, when he caught a glimpse of someone standing nearby.

"Mikan?" the guy said. It was the dreadful—to Natsume's concern—Kimura.

The brunette looked at the red head and instantly gave him her sweetest smile, which did not go unnoticed to Natsume's red eyes.

"Tetsuya?"

"Hi, Mikan," he glanced at Natsume. "Natsume."

"How are you doing, Tetsuya?" she asked casually.

"I'm good, especially now that I see you."

_Couldn't he come up with better replies?_ the raven-haired boy thought snobbishly.

She actually giggled—to his horror, "What brought you here?"

"I was actually on my way to the Tea Garden when I heard someone laughing," he was not taking his eyes off of her, which annoyed Natsume more and more. "And somehow, I knew that it was you."

"Are you sure you didn't hear a pig snorting?" Natsume couldn't help blurting out due to his temper.

Mikan's eyes narrowed down to Natsume, "What do you mean by that, Natsume?"

"Exactly how you think it means," he replied without thinking.

"Why you mean idiot!" she snapped at him throwing her poise out of the window. "I thought we're friends, but you do not say things like that to a friend, you know?"

Natsume shrugged, "Imai says things like that to you."

"That's different!" she yelled. "She's my bestfriend."

Any other person would have probably left the two by now, afraid to get caught in the middle of the brawl. But Tetsuya stayed where he was. He was actually amused as he watched them snapped back at each other.

When Mikan finally breathed deeply and settled down, Tetsuya couldn't help but smile at the scene he just witnessed.

"Uhm, I'm going for a tea," he started. "Would you, guys, want to come?"

"Sure," Mikan replied instantly with no traces of the argument she just had with the Black Cat.

Tetsuya looked at Natsume and asked him as well.

"No, thanks," he replied. "I don't drink tea."

"Don't mind him, Tetsuya," Mikan jeered as she stepped closer to the tall red head.

"Well, then," Tetsuya shifted his gaze to Mikan. "Shall we, Mikan?"

Mikan nodded and they both walked away, leaving Natsume glaring after them. When they were already far enough, Natsume released his frustration through a ball of fire on his right hand. And just as suddenly, it disappeared without any traces of smoke.

"This doesn't mean I'll leave you two alone," he mumbled to himself clutching the poor manga too tightly in his left hand.

Natsume argued mentally that he may not be going with them but it does not mean that he was not going to watch.

_One wrong move and he's toast._

------------------------- ----- -------------------------

Natsume was thankful that Tetsuya did not make any move on his Mikan. He does not know what he could have done if the irritating red head did anything he would regret for the rest of his life. However, this did not stop him from wondering and worrying, which was why he was not really paying attention to what the guys were discussing that afternoon under the Sakura tree in one of their all-boys time.

Apparently, what Sumire said about Valentine's Day had an impact to the boys, and made them started thinking about the dreaded date.

"I've decided," Yome started seriously. "I'll ask Nonoko to go out with me on Valentine's Day."

"Finally!" they all, except for Natsume, exclaimed.

"It's been a long time coming," said Iinchou.

"Yeah, you've known for so long that Nonoko has a crush on you," Mochu added. "So you're already sure that she's going to say yes." And mumbled, "Unlike me."

"I know that," Yome looked down on his lap trying to hide his reddened face. "Having a Mind-Reading Alice actually makes it harder for me to ask her out. I don't want her to think that I'm only asking her out because I already know that she likes me. Besides, it's hard to go on a date and hear your date's thoughts while you're at it."

"You have a point there," Ruka concurred. Right there and then, his respect for Kokoro just went higher. Their friend has surely learned a lot in Alice Ethics class, which, somehow, made Ruka felt a little guilty for trying to involve him with his scheme.

"You're very lucky, Ruka," Mochu stated losing hope for himself. He still did not know how to ask Anna out, and it was only around two more weeks before chocolates start brewing. "You do not have to worry about your date. You don't even have to think how to ask her out. You only have to think what you'll do for it."

Ruka only smiled, not wanting to say anything that will further make the other guys feel frustrated and envious.

"By the way," Iinchou uttered curiously. He, compared to Mochu, did not look hopeless, or at least he did not seem to be. Ruka wonders if there was something Iinchou was not sharing to them. "Do you already have plans for your date with Hotaru, Ruka?"

"Sure," the blonde-boy with the rabbit replied casually. "But I won't go into details. I assure you that it's really special and Hotaru would surely fall head over heels with me again."

"Again?" the quiet raven-haired boy suddenly smirked when he heard what his bestfriend has just said. "How sure are you that she's in love with you now?"

Ruka knew that Natsume did not intend to offend him, and he was not offended either way. Instead of answering, however, he retorted, "How about you, Natsume? Do you have any plans for Valentine's Day?"

"None," his bestfriend replied casually with a shrug of the shoulder.

"You don't plan to ask anyone for a date?" Iinchou asked.

_Too cheesy_, he thought. _I wouldn't be caught dead giving flowers and chocolates to anyone._

Besides, the only girl he wanted to ask probably already has a long list of potential dates with a certain red head leading the race.

When Natsume said that he has no plans, Ruka made a comment about his idea of dating, "That's right. Natsume Hyuuga doesn't go on dates. He just watches other people date."

Everyone burst out laughing, but abruptly hushed when a pair of red eyes warned them of a possibility of being burned at the stake.

"Maybe you should ask her before someone does," said Kokoro breaking the silence. "It may not be too late."

With this, he was almost certain that he saw flames emerged out of Natsume, and instantly gave Ruka a nervous glance.

He heard the Black Cat's thoughts so clearly as if he really mouthed it, "Stay away from my thoughts or I'll burn you alive."

The mind-reader let out an uncertain laugh and followed it with a mumbled "sorry".

------------------------- ----- -------------------------

Whatever it was, Ruka's plan worked. It started Natsume thinking of stepping up and asking Mikan out for Valentine's Day.

The Black Cat has been sleepless for many nights just pacing around his spacious room. He was arguing to himself the pros and cons of asking Mikan for a date. He was thinking what it would do to his pride. Besides, she would probably just laugh at him when he asks her to be his Valentine.

_I don't even know what to do on dates. _

This made him think of places they should see and go to if she agrees.

_I'm way ahead of myself. I don't even know yet how to ask her._

He imagined the way guys in the movies ask girls out, and he felt like throwing up whenever he tries to see himself doing it.

_I'm hopeless._

He stopped in front of the full-body mirror near his closet and stared at himself.

_If I love her, I think this is my chance to tell her how I feel._

"I cannot believe I'm embarrassing myself," he shook his head and gave up.

* * *

_**Author's Notes:**_ _I hope you liked this chapter as much as the other. Hopefully, we're getting somewhere. _

_So who were the someones here? I think there are four in total. Remember? "Someone's would finally think about asking someone out"_

_Don't forget your reviews, guys. I really want to know what you think, since it has been a while since I last wrote the other chapters. I'll be waiting._

_**Next Chapter: **Valentine's Day. A lot of things happen on this fateful day. What would Valentine's be like for our favorite couple?_

_It's really almost here, guys... That cold and empty night... Only one more week and three days..._


	10. Some guys have all the luck

**Ready To Fall**

* * *

_**Author's Notes: **So many months passed by, and I'm still here. sighs Everything has been busy. It's hard when you get to this stage of your life, you have to set priorities and follow them. But anyway, at least, I'm back. I just have to upload this super overdue chapter despite my injured hand (it's really hard to type with it), especially with the season of love like a day away. I can't promise anything else right now but that I will finish this story sooner or later. Hopefully, soon._

_Thank you, guys, for reading my story and also for dropping your reviews. I really make time to check on them. I hope you like this one. _

_Well, I have more to say but seems like my hand has reached its limit. So here it is...  
_

* * *

**Chapter 10: Some guys have all the luck**

----- # -----

_Alone in a crowd on a bus after work and I'm dreaming._

_The guy next to me has a girl in his arms._

_My arms are empty._

_How does it feel when the girl next to you says she loves you?_

_It seems so unfair when there's love everywhere, but there's none for me._

_-'Some guys have all the luck' by Rod Stewart-_

----- # -----

* * *

**One week and three days before that cold and empty night…**

It was_the_ day as Sumire Shouda put it.

In different cultures Valentine's Day emerged in various ways. One of the most popular versions is the story of St. Valentine, which did not really involve sentimental love. According to _Legenda Aurea_, St. Valentine was a priest who did not agree with the Roman Law that states for young men to remain single. The emperor who decreed that law said that married men do not make good soldiers. Valentine then, in return, performed marriage ceremonies in secrecy. When the emperor found out about this, he was thrown to prison.

In other legends, it is said that St. Valentine wrote the very first love letter to a loved-one in a heart-shaped leaf the night before his execution. This apparently what started the note-giving during Valentine's Day.

As centuries passed by, it did not stop from love letters. From love notes, people started giving flowers and chocolates (usually heart-shaped) as a symbol of their love. If they can afford it, they even go out on special dates. No matter how simple or grand, they still celebrate it with the special people in their life. It is the thought that counts, as goes the famous saying.

This concept is no different from the people living in the vicinity of Alice Academy. They celebrate Valentine's the same way other people do, except maybe with just some additional tricks here and there—with the help of their Alices, of course.

Mochu is one of those who can attest to it. No matter how hard and nerve-wracking, he still stuck to his decision to ask Anna on a date.

Anna Umenomiya may be a sweet and gentle girl, but she was a tough shell when it comes to dating. Mochu had to pick himself up thrice before he was able to finally tell Anna his intention clearly in complete sentences.

It was not flat-out rejection that Mochu had a hard time handling. It was Anna's smile. Mochu could not predict if she was going to say yes or no. she did not look apologetic, nor did she look excited. Mochu could only wipe a big fat bead of sweat when she said, "Sure, I would love to."

Just when Mochu thought the hard part was over, his situation did not change much at the course of their date. He bought her to one of the expensive restaurants in Central Town. It was hard to get a reservation there during peak season like Valentine's Day, but a good thing he was able to book a table weeks ago. Mochu has been trying the whole time to impress his date, but she stayed neutral and smiley like she always was.

By dessert, he was ready to give up and score the date as a one-hit wonder until the sweet pink-haired Anna said half-seriously to him, "Why do you even try to impress me, Mochu?"

Before he could even answer, she continued, "We are together everyday. We hang-out with the same group. We are in the same class. We have known each other for more than five years. Don't you think by now, I already know you? Who you really are? If I don't know you, don't know how you have become in those five years, I wouldn't have said 'yes' to this date, and I certainly wouldn't be across from you now eating cheesecake."

Mochu did not know what to say to that. He was not even sure if what she said was a good sign.

"We're friends, Mochu."

Now a red alert just went-off in his system. "Friends" is not exactly what he wants to hear from her next to the words "we" and "are".

"Things should not be awkward," she went on not realizing the ordeal her words are causing to the poor boy. "If our relationship progress to a new level in the future, it should not start this way by trying hard to impress each other. We should be how we really are. No pretensions. Just be you, Mochu. I would not ask for more than who you are. Okay?"

What registered in him was that the words "our", "relationship" and "progress" were all used in the same sentence. He was pretty sure it was a good thing, which helped him relax and turned the course of their date around.

By the end of it, he was seeing already a possibility of a second date in the near future. He could only wish he has Kokoro's Alice to have a clearer idea how big that possibility is.

------------------------- ----- -------------------------

Kokoro, on the other hand, no matter how useful Mind-Reading Alice is as Mochu thinks, struggled and decided not to use it. He, however, could not come up with any solution on how to go about it. Iinchou suggested a controlling device, but Kokoro thinks that his Alice is not really dangerous nor is it extremely powerful to actually need a controlling device.

Iinchou then suggested controlling his Alice himself.

"Aren't you training to control your Alice in Combination Classes?" the bespectacled-boy asked not hiding the implications in his tone.

"I am," Kokoro answered defensively. "It's not as easy as it seems. My Alice is not like yours."

"I'm not saying it is," Iinchou replied matter-of-factly. "But there is training for it because it means that it is not impossible, or else those classes are just a waste of time and energy."

With that, he left the desperate boy who rejected all that he suggested.

Kokoro thought that maybe he should have listened more to his lessons about controlling his Alice. He then decided to train more.

"I better find our teacher for extra classes," he muttered to himself following it with a sigh.

In about a week before _the _day, Kokoro still have no luck with controlling his Alice. With the help of Ruka's advice and help, he still went for it.

About three days before Valentine's, Nonoko received a letter, delivered by Ruka's white rabbit, asking her to be Kokoro's Valentine. Included in the letter is an explanation that he did not want to spoil the thrill if he would just end up reading her mind for the answer. When the rabbit returned to the Mind-reader with a reply note, his hands were shaking that he could not even open the small piece of folded paper to finally see the answer. It was Ruka who took the note and opened it.

"Well?" Kokoro asked nervously.

"I thought you're a mind reader," the blonde boy just said.

At that, Kokoro smiled knowing exactly what the note said: "Ok."

"I have a date!" he yelled repeatedly throwing his hands in the air like he just won the lottery.

"Congratulations," Ruka said stifling a laugh because of his friend's behavior. "Now what do you plan to do for your date?"

"I'm not sure yet," Kokoro stumbled his words with obvious excitement. "I guess we'll eat in a restaurant, or maybe in an outdoor café. I'll buy her flowers. What's her favorite flower again?"

"Easy there, Yome," Ruka shook his head in amusement. "What I actually meant was how are you gonna go about it. You're gonna be hearing her thoughts the entire time. Plus, it's Valentine's Day. Central Town will be pack with people. You're gonna be hearing more than just romantic music. It could get nasty, even naughty."

With that, Kokoro's fire just got splashed with water. The excitement was replaced with worry.

"Why'd you have to go and spoil my Valentine's?" he sighed to the animal lover. "Besides, you're the one who insisted I go through with it. You should have an idea how I'll pull it off."

"Well, I didn't exactly expect that she'd say 'yes'," Ruka teased. "I'm just kidding. I do have an idea how to avoid the noise of the Alice Academy population except for one—your date. With her, it has to be all you."

Kokoro looked at his friend with a bit of confusion, but he was starting to picture what Ruka has in mind—literally.

However, no matter how Kokoro would like to postpone the dreaded date to give him more time for everything, he had no choice but to go through with it like everyone else—not that he was not excited with his date. He was just worried. He finally gave up training and decided to just try his best to ignore Nonoko's thoughts while they are together.

The two met in front of the Middle School Building. The mental noise around him was not helping with his nervousness and excitement. The good thing was he actually became too preoccupied that he could not hear Nonoko's thoughts.

"Finally, silence," was the mind-reader's first words when they reached the Northern Forest, just a few trees away from Mr. Bear's cabin.

Nonoko couldn't help but smile seeing how relieved Kokoro was after getting away from all those people.

"This is a really good idea, Koko," she commented as she spread the blanket for their picnic. "Aside from the privacy, it's more peaceful, especially for you. I guess everything would be just fine."

He sat next to Nonoko and opened a bag of chips.

"I guess so," was his reply. "The only problem is—,"

Kokoro suddenly stopped, his hand holding a piece of cheesy potato chip suspended in midair. He was just staring to a smiling Nonoko, and trying to concentrate for her thoughts.

To his surprise, however, he only hears silence.

The blue-haired girl's smile grew even wider.

"What—?"

"Happy Valentine's!" she greeted like it was the appropriate time to do so. "Do you like my _gift_?"

The dumb-founded Kokoro was almost lost for words. He did not understand what was happening.

"How?" he finally said still quite motionless.

How come he was not hearing her thoughts? There was nothing wrong with his Alice, was there? Or could his training be actually paying off? But then, how come she seemed to be more knowledgeable of what was happening and how it was happening?

"It's my new discovery," she finally started to explain how come his Alice seemed to be not working on her. "I have been mixing chemicals and stuff for this very special medicine."

"Medicine?"

"Yeah," she continued as she served grilled chicken and Caesar Salad. "It actually took me a while to get it right. I knew eventually I would have a use for it, especially for you."

"This medicine," Kokoro started as things slowly sunk in. "What does it do exactly?"

"Well, it keeps my thoughts all to my self, that's what."

"That's some medicine," was his reaction, actually amazed at her incredible invention. "Is it possible to give that to anyone who come two-feet from me?"

Nonoko laughed thinking Kokoro was trying to be funny. In reality, however, he was dead serious.

_It would really help me sleep soundly at night._

Seeing how his date was having fun, the mind-reader felt better and more relaxed. He has come to think that his Valentine's Day is going to be just fine.

_Thanks to Ruka who insisted I go through with it anyway. It is really worth it. _

Then he could not help but wonder, _I'm curious how his plans worked-out._

------------------------- ----- -------------------------_  
_

Contrary to what Mochu and Kokoro thought, things were not easier for Ruka even if he did not have to go through asking anyone for a date on Valentine's Day. Even if it is already a given that he is dating Hotaru, she is one girl who is not so easy to please.

Knowing this very well, Ruka has been planning for this very special day for weeks. In fact, he has gotten so busy setting everything in motion for their first Valentine as a couple that he was even—for the first time in months—not minding his bestfriend's love life.

But just as the saying goes, everything has to come to its end. Plans have to be, at some point, executed. For Ruka, that judgment day has come and all were in place—hopefully. He could only wish for his one last variable to fit perfectly in his equation, and hope that the end result is a positive number.

When the bell echoed signaling the end of the classes for the day, the animal lover quickly brought his girlfriend to the school ground just outside the Middle School Building.

"Where are you dragging me, Nogi?" Hotaru asked unpleased. "You better not do something embarrassing or you'll regret it for the rest of your life here in the Academy."

Ruka knew more than anyone how capable the raven-haired girl in being true to her words, but he was very much willing to take the risk for her.

"All talk," was his casual reply. "People hearing you talk to me like that is already a hit against my ego, and not to mention my reputation. So I guess I'll survive whatever the consequence is."

"What are you saying?" she asked suddenly quite confused.

He stopped when they arrived at the _spot _and faced her.

"I'm saying you're worth it," he reached for her hands and held them tight in his. "I'm saying you're worth the pain, the happiness, the embarrassment you put me through, the forgotten ego, and you're worth even the ruined reputation. You're worth it and more… because I love you. And I'll do anything for you. I'll do this for you."

The stunned Hotaru turned where her boyfriend has motioned for her, and saw a big group of different animals making different harmonious sounds. Right at the middle of the group were three boys singing along with the animals.

The tallest of them started the verse of the familiar song.

_You need a friend, I'll be around_

_Don't let this end before I see you again_

_What can I say to convince you to change your mind of me?_

_I'm gonna love you more than anyone_

_I'm gonna hold you closer than before_

_And when I kiss your soul, your body'll be free_

_I'll be free for you anytime_

_I'm gonna love you more than anyone_

"_More than Anyone_" by Gavin DeGraw was playing on the radio in Central Town when Hotaru agreed to be his girlfriend, which is why it is really special for both of them. The song could not be any more right than it already is.

Just when Hotaru thought that was all there was, as the song neared to its end, a group of birds carrying a long white pole-like thing flew above the choir. The pole opened into a streamer saying:

"_Hotaru Imai, would you be my Valentine? Ruka Nogi_"

The Genius Inventor looked down, not knowing if she should feel embarrassed, when she saw her boyfriend's white rabbit in front of her holding up a single white tulip with a red satin ribbon. She took the flower and gave the animal a light pat.

"This is the part where you would give me an answer," Ruka whispered to her ears.

Hotaru maintained a neutral face as she met his eyes. However, Ruka could already see through her violet orbs how much she appreciated his gestures.

It was indirectly confirmed when she stepped closer to him and whispered back, "You forgot the chocolates."

The blonde-boy instantly enveloped her into his arms, and was surprised when they heard applause and cheers around them.

Hotaru suddenly took a step back, but kept her hand in Ruka's, and was seeing for the first time how big their audience was.

They have forgotten that people just came out of their classes and they were all just in time to witness the whole thing happened.

------------------------- ----- -------------------------

Among those people was Natsume, who did not know whether he should feel embarrass for his friend.

"Hopeless romantics," he mumbled to himself as he walked away from the scene. "I think I'm gonna be sick."

Natsume knew that just the other night, he has resolved into asking Mikan out. However, no matter how much he wants it, he just could not picture himself going through it.

But all of his friends were on their dates. Correction, everyone have dates. Not only his friends, but everyone. Probably everyone in the planet. This verity, however, should not pressure him into the whole deal as well. There has got to be at least a single being not on a date for Valentine's Day.

Then he thought of Iinchou. He has not heard of any date plans from him. Maybe he is the one single being he needs to prove that he is not such a lonely boy.

As if the bespectacled boy knew that someone was looking for him, Natsume spotted Iinchou walking towards where he was going.

"Natsume! Funny bumping into you here," Iinchou greeted in an unusually cheery mood—even for him.

"You ok?" was his simple question, curious about his friend's odd behavior.

"Of course," he replied smiling. "Why won't I be?"

_Could this also be an effect of the Valentine's Syndrome? _He thought.

"Forget it," he said as he decided to avoid the _V-Day _topic.

Instead, he casually asked him, "I'm going to the Dining Hall for some snacks. How about you?"

Iinchou was obviously taken aback to what his friend has just said.

"That sounded like an invitation that I thought I would never hear from you, which makes me want to accept since it just might be a once in a lifetime opportunity, but I can't because I have a date that I should be already going to right now. So I would have to pass, regrettably."

Natsume thought, as Iinchou walked away, that he did not have to elaborate his answer the way he did. A simple reply would have done the job.

Something was really not right about their class representative that day. He wonders, to his surprise, what it could be.

_Wait_, a thought just came to him. _Did he just say that he has a date?_

Natsume Hyuuga could not be mistaken. He really did hear his friend right.

Yuu Tobita has a date.

Even Iinchou has already been infected by the love bug.

This revelation only made Natsume think even more that he was the only one not on a date that day. But he just made a resolution a while ago that he would not be pressured to ride the bandwagon.

Even so, he was surprised to find himself looking for a certain brunette who loves to smile.

_I'm really becoming more and more pathetic._

------------------------- ----- -------------------------

He found her at the fountain located behind the High School building. She was sitting sideways talking to her reflection in the water.

_No. Not talking, but arguing, _he realized in amazement as he walked towards her.

He breathed in trying to calm his heartbeat, but it was impossible. He was totally smitten.

Who wouldn't he be? Just staring at her… even if she's flustered, she manages to look so beautiful.

What more if she smiles? He could just faint on the spot.

He gazed at her from head to toe. Her long brown hair was braided to the side dangling on her left shoulder. The sleeves of her pink hooded-jacket were drawn to her elbows. Her low-cut pink sneakers were also obvious at the hem of her dark-washed jeans. For him, she looked graceful despite her sporty get-up.

He must be really head-over-heels with this girl. _No more doubts about that._

"How long could I keep this up?" he heard her say aggravated. "I don't know if you're just dense."

She shook her head, "No, you're just plain idiot."

He could not hide a smile, "I hope I'm not the idiot."

Mikan was obviously startled to find out that she was not alone.

"Oh, I'm sorry," he did not want her to think he was stalking her. "I did not mean to bother you. It's just that I was surprised to see you here."

She smiled—to his relief, "It's alright. It just so happened that this seems to be the only place not crowded with Valentine couples."

"Speaking of Valentine's," he started smoothly turning the topic around. "Don't you have a date waiting for you? Or are you the one waiting for him? Should I walk away now before your date thinks you ditched him for me?"

She could not help but giggle, which melted his heart, "No, I don't have a date waiting for me nor am I waiting for anyone. How about you? Maybe_I_ should walk away."

"No, don't walk away," he uttered reflexively. "I mean, you don't have to. I'm not waiting for anyone."

Confused as she may be with his sudden reaction, she just smiled and nodded.

_What is becoming of me? I should just ask her out and stop wondering._

"Well," he cleared his throat. "Since we've established that we don't have any dates waiting for us, would you like to go out with me instead?"

Mikan looked at him as she considered the invitation.

"Are you asking for a date?"

He just shrugged his shoulders, "We don't have to call it a date, if you want. We can just call it hanging-out."

"Hanging-out?" she smiled obviously amazed.

"Sure," he said also smiling because of her contagious smile. "If it makes you more comfortable. At least, it doesn't sound too formal."

When she laughed, he thought he was going to faint.

"I guess it's okay," she finally answered. "So, where to?"

"I don't know yet," he confessed, which made her laugh even more.

This just might be the happiest day of his life.

_Finally, Mikan Sakura is officially going on a date with Tetsuya Kimura,_he sighed secretly. _This day could not get any better._

------------------------- ----- -------------------------

_This day could not get any worse, _was Natsume's thoughts as he followed the red-head and the brunette to Central Town.

It is official. He really hates that Kimura. He is now just waiting for a chance to burn him to ashes.

The guy practically beat him by a second. He has already spotted Sakura by the fountain. He was going to ask her. He already took the step towards her. Then he showed up from nowhere. They even almost had the same strategy on how to ask her out. And this frustrated him the most.

He could not believe his Mikan was snatched away right under his nose!

_Stupid Natsume, _he scolded himself. _If you only acted faster. If you only stopped arguing with yourself as she sat there alone. If only… if only…_

So many "if only". When would it stop?

He should have been the one walking next to Mikan. He should have been the one eating ice cream and corndogs—even if he doesn't like processed foods on a stick—with her. He should have been the one sitting next to her on the park bench. And not the very irritating and hateful Tetsuya Kimura.

He knew it was his fault, but he could not help throwing the blame to someone else. Like Mikan for example.

_Why was it so easy for her to say "okay"? Did she really want to go out with him? Maybe she really likes him. _Then, it hit him, _could it actually be Kimura that she is really in love with?_

The thought of it crushed the Black Cat's heart no matter how much he wanted to deny it. The thought also made him hate Kimura even more—if it is even still possible.

However, no matter how hateful the red-head is, Natsume could not deny that the guy has the romantic bone girls adore that he does not have. He seems so prepared for the date even if it was a last-minute thing. Could it be that he has been planning the date even if he was not sure yet if he was going to have a date?

Come to think of it, Kimura always asks Mikan on the spot. He never asked her a few days before the date itself.

_Is it his strategy? _

As a guy who thinks of strategy as well for his missions, he would have to admit Kimura's is a very good one. Because, unless he resolves to watching Mikan twenty four-seven, he would not be able to prevent him from dating her.

Now, he has no choice but to just watch them.

Compared to the other dates of Mikan, this is the most dreadful to watch. He knew she had fun with the previous ones, but this is different. She looks happier. He could not even watch anymore. So he just sat on a tree branch where he is covered by leaves from the couple's sight. He was no longer looking but he could still hear them. And that did not lessen the pain.

------------------------- ----- -------------------------

They stopped walking. Mikan said something about the surrounding becoming more yellow because of the sunset.

"It's like a painting coming to life," she said enthusiastically. "So beautiful."

"Really beautiful," he muttered.

Mikan was surprised to see Tetsuya looking at her instead. She turned reddish herself, and it was not because of the setting sun.

She did not even realize what Tetsuya was about to do—not until his soft lips touched hers. She felt her heart skipped a beat. She felt her knees weaken when his hand gently caressed her face, urging her to respond. She almost complied.

Instead, she immediately stepped back when a nearby trash bin suddenly burst out with fire. She automatically looked around and up—her heart beating so fast—almost expecting to see a certain someone, but was relieved to know they were alone.

All she saw was a branch hurriedly vacated by a cat.

If only she looked up sooner.

* * *

_**Author's Notes: **I hope you like it. Who would have thought it would take me months to think about the characters' dates in this chapter? Don't forget to review, guys! (",)_

_**Next Chapter:** The aftermath of Valentine's Day. How would this affect Natsume and Mikan's relationship? Would Natsume actually beat up Tetsuya? I wonder what he is thinking right now? _

_It's just one week and two days before that cold and empty night... _


	11. Why can't it be?

**Ready To Fall**

**

* * *

_Author's Notes:_ **_Needless to say this chapter has been way long overdue. It's the aftermath of Valentine's Day. I won't say much to spoil your reading. I hope you like it, and thank you for your continued support of this story. I promised I'll finish it, and finish it I will-in time. Thanks again. Enjoy!_

* * *

**Chapter 11: Why can't it be?**

- # -

_Why can't it be?_

_Why can't it be the two of us?_

_Why can't we be lovers? Only friends._

_You came along at a wrong place,_

_At a wrong time,_

_Or was it me?_

_-'Why Can't It Be?' by Rannie Raymundo-_

- # -

* * *

**One week and two days before that cold and empty night…**

She was never early.

.

If there is one thing Mikan Sakura is known for it is that she has never arrived early in class. She was always late, if not on-the-dot.

But that day, the fifteenth of February, she made history. She was not only early for class, but she was the earliest.

It was not like she woke up and realized she has to do something about her tardiness. It was not that at all. There was hardly even a need for her to drag herself from sleep since she was practically awake the whole night. She was just lying in her bed, staring at the ceiling, thinking.

She was thinking of so many things that she was having a hard time keeping up with herself.

In her own words, she was confused.

Who would not be? Who would have thought a few hours of Valentine's Day can cause such a predicament?

_Is it possible to like two guys at the same time? _She asked herself frustrated. _I thought I already concluded that I'm in love with Natsume. But how come…?_

She suddenly covered her lips with her hands when it came back to her. The memory of yesterday was so vivid it felt like it was happening over and over.

She was scared. Not with Tetsuya, but with herself.

She maybe naïve, but she knew how she reacted. If it was not for the sudden distraction, she would have responded.

She did not want to. She knew she did not want to.

_It was instinct,_ she tells herself without conviction. _It was instinct, right? But what if it wasn't? Did I really want to? Did I want to kiss him back?_

Tetsuya apologized. He said he did not mean to startle her.

"It just happened," she remembered his exact words. "I guess I could not deny it anymore. I like you, Mikan."

He shook his head attempting to erase his last statement, "No. I'm in love with you. I'm not sure when it happened, but I know I am."

He stopped her when she opened her mouth to say something, "I'm not asking you to give me a reply. You don't have to. Not now. But I'm hoping you would think about it. I do want to know if I have a space in your heart, but I want you to think about it first before you give me any answer."

She could only sigh as she pulled herself back to the present.

_I'm in love with you, _his words repeating in her head. _I want to know if I have a space in your heart._

"Ugh!" she shook her head vigorously hoping to rid off her thoughts.

.

He could feel the tightening in his chest, but he knew it was not because he has been neglecting his medicines. It was caused by a certain brunette who has been sighing the whole morning as he watched her just sit on her desk.

He knew for sure that she was thinking of the day before. He could not blame her. He was thinking of it himself the whole night.

"Really beautiful," he heard Kimura say and his cat senses were up, making him look down from the tree branch.

Natsume was suddenly nervous, especially when the red head leaned closer to Sakura. He already knew what was going to happen, but he froze.

For a few seconds, he just could not move. Then, like a cat splashed with cold water, he jumped in rage. Before he knew it, he conjured a fire aiming at his rival.

Realizing that Mikan could also get hurt, he instantly deflected it—hitting the trash bin instead. Luckily, he was able to sneak out before Mikan looked up. She could only speculate what caused the sudden burst of flames—just like how Natsume could only speculate on what she thinks of the event yesterday.

If Mikan is confused, Natsume is not doing any better.

He wanted to approach her—confront her. He wanted answers, but afraid that he was not going to like it. Even so, he craved to hear that she despised Kimura for what he did.

_He had no right, _he kept convincing himself. _But nor do I._

He does not own Mikan. She can date whoever she wants, and she certainly can kiss whoever she wants.

And it kills him.

He knew it was his fault, but was he not ready to change all that? Was he not about to step up? He was almost there, but someone got there first.

It seems the cat was not fast enough.

_This is not over—yet, _then, he sighed himself. _Please don't let this be over. Just not yet._

"What's up with her?" Natsume was startled to find Ruka standing next to him. "Hotaru was looking for her. This early in the morning, I thought this is the last place anyone can find her."

He just shrugged not knowing what to say.

Ruka shifted his eyes on him. He could read concern all over the blonde boy's face.

"What's with that look?" he could not help but feel irritated. He was not use to people reading him, even if it is his bestfriend doing it.

"What happened?" It was a simple question. Yet, answers did not come easy. Far too many things have happened to fit it into a simple answer.

"Nothing," the Black Cat managed to reply.

One word. A word that meant a lot of things for him. The one word that describes what he was really doing for himself and for Mikan Sakura.

It was painful.

And as he walked away from the room, he knew he was doing it again—nothing.

.

Anna, Nonoko, Sumire, Hotaru and Mikan are all huddled together in the front row like how they always were during morning breaks. They were, however, not in their usual loud chatting state. Ruka noticed that they all seemed to be in different worlds.

Anna was doodling in her notebook and was smiling from time to time at whatever she was writing. Nonoko, like Anna, was also smiling minus the doodling.

_Guess she doesn't need it,_ the animal lover figured actually amused.

Sumire, on the other hand, was just curiously staring at Hotaru, who seems to be busy fixing a small invention on her desk.

This sight of the raven-haired girl struck Ruka. Looking at his girlfriend, anyone would think that she has forgotten his Valentine surprise too easily. It was a good thing he knew better. Although he does wish Hotaru would at least sometimes show her girlfriends how excited she is with his romantic gestures.

He sighed. _A step at a time, Nogi. A step at a time._

Anyway, he was not worried about Hotaru's feelings for him. He knew for sure that his girlfriend is very much in love with him. It does not matter whether she bluntly shows it to anyone else or not. As long as with him, she is honest with her feelings, that is all that matters.

What concerns him, however, is their brunette friend. She has not talked much the whole morning. He did not know what happened yesterday with her and his bestfriend, but he knew something did.

Yes, Natsume said _nothing_ happened, but that just might be the problem.

Speaking of Natsume, he did not come back for class the whole morning.

_Something was really up. _He was sure of it. _But what?_

"I think it's bad," Kokoro butted in, obviously reading his thoughts.

He gave him a narrow-eyed stare unhappy with the invasion the mind-reader just did.

"I can't help it," he replied in defense. "You know how bad I am at controlling this. Besides, your thoughts intrigue me."

Ruka's eyes became even narrower—if it was still possible.

"I mean, you seem problematic," Yome was tumbling with his words as he felt uncomfortable with his glare. "Would you just let me continue? I just might have an answer to your questions. After all, I ran into Natsume this morning before classes started."

Ruka exhaled deeply motioning for the mind-reader to continue.

Kokoro Yome seldom talks of sensitive issues he stumbles upon with his Alice, but once he spills, he spills it all to the very last drop.

The only thing Ruka could do was shake his head out of sympathy for his bestfriend.

"Poor Natsume."

.

"Poor Mikan,"

Mikan instantly looked up upon hearing her bestfriends voice only to look down again and sigh deeply.

"You know you can tell me everything," Hotaru said in her usual calm voice as she sat next to her under the tree.

It was not the Sakura tree. Not _their_ Sakura tree. Mikan cannot find the courage in her to face Natsume after yesterday. She knew he did not know what happened. Nothing should be different with him. She just could not help feeling awkward even just by thinking of looking at him after Valentine's Day. After her date with Tetsuya. After he kissed her. After she… almost kissed him back. Somehow, she felt like she betrayed him—Natsume.

_We're not even together,_ she argued internally.

"I may seem to not care," her bestfriend continued when she did not speak. "But I'm a good listener. You know I am." Mikan turned to her and she immediately saw how confused those brown orbs are. "So what happened?"

"Hotaru," she started with voice that hardly carried over to the listener's ears. "How did you know you love Ruka?"

Hotaru only stared at her for a minute. She would have pointed out that Mikan has already asked her the same question, but, this time, she knew Mikan needed the answer.

She looked straight ahead to nowhere in particular before answering, "He has such a big heart."

Mikan was surprised by her reply. Despite her state, she noted that it was the first time Hotaru was talking about her feelings for Ruka—her real feelings. She had expected her to joke about it, but she was thankful she gave an honest answer.

"He puts himself last for his friends' sake," the raven-haired continued, still looking from afar. "His patience is also not bad. I mean, he kept up with me. He never gets tired of me. I could be as cold as Alaska, still he would be happy to live like an Eskimo just so he can be with me." A hint of smile curved on her lips. "I threw snowballs at him and he turned it into snow cones. Then, I knew."

Mikan felt like she was even more confused because of her answer.

Alaska and Eskimo? Snowballs and snow cones? What do those got to do with love?

When she voiced it out to Hotaru, her bestfriend replied, "When you know what those mean, you'll know how I knew I love Ruka."

"Totally not helping," she pouted catching her chin between her hands. "I'm helpless."

.

He knew he has to wait. He has to give her the time and the space to think about things.

He also knew that she was probably confused. He did not want to put her in a predicament, but he was not sorry that he told her how he feels.

No matter how much their distance was killing him, he has to stay put.

If there is one thing Tetsuya Kimura is, that would be patient. He is a patient man—and so he would wait.

Although, this time, stopping himself from knocking on the door of the Middle School Dormitory was not an easy task. His feet have been itching for the past two days since Valentine's day. He can only be thankful he has his violin to distract him.

He played solemnly by the fountain where he had spotted Mikan Sakura and asked her to be his Valentine.

With his eyes closed, he could picture her dancing gracefully to his music—his own composition, inspired by her. A cheery and sunny melody that depicts Mikan so well.

Even the Black Cat could relate the brunette to the music the red head was playing as he approached him. It was down hard irritating. He was almost certain for whom the composition is for.

_Yes_, he thought. _Maybe I should just turn him to ashes right now and put a lid on my problems._

That would have been nice, but he knew too well that Mikan would be upset, and would surely put him out of her friend's list—and straight to enemy's list instead of boyfriend's.

He was five steps away when Kimura stopped playing. He opened his eyes as he lowered the wooden instrument from his chin and left shoulder. He turned to Natsume without any obvious surprise.

The raven-haired quietly grunted, t_he guy is full of composure._

"Natsume," Kimura nodded towards his visitor in acknowledgement. "To whom do I owe this pleasure of your company?"

Natsume smirked as a reply to his politeness.

"It wouldn't be a pleasure if you knew why I'm even here,"

Tetsuya only stared at him, emotionless, for a moment.

"You're here to warn me," it was said so casually that it made Natsume slightly raise an eyebrow. "I've wondered when this would happen."

* * *

_**Author's Notes:** I hope you enjoyed it. I'm on the last stage of finishing the next chapter. Hopefully, I'll be able to upload it right away. As always, please shower me with your reviews. It really helps me see your view on my story, and I like it. _

_**Next Chapter:** The confrontation of Natsume and Kimura finally happens. But they're not the only one who'll have a moment._

_Only one week left before that cold and empty night... and time is moving so fast._


	12. It's tearing up my heart

**Ready To Fall**

**

* * *

****Chapter 12: It's tearing up my heart**

- # -

_It's tearing up my heart when I'm with you._

_When we are apart I feel it too._

_And no matter what I do I feel the pain_

_With or without you._

_-'It's Tearing Up My Heart' by N'Sync-_

- # -

* * *

**One week before that cold and empty night…**

**.  
**

Tetsuya have heard the rumors.

.

Tetsuya have heard of the infamous Black Cat plaguing Mikan Sakura's dates. Although he had also heard how dangerous he is, he was never afraid of him.

Sure he could burn him alive. But he is strong, and not just because of his Alice. There are other ways to defeat an enemy—not that he was considering Natsume as an enemy. At least not yet.

He also somewhat understood the reason behind the Black Cat's actions. He was actually more worried of that than how easily he could turn him into dust.

"Shall we hear it then, Natsume?"

Natsume was taken aback when Kimura knew why he was there. For a minute he contemplated how he will hunt those pigs and burn them to roast, but Kimura's aura kept him focused on the situation at hand. Something about the red-head intrigued him. Natsume had known he was not like those other pigs who dated Mikan. He is smarter. He does not just think with his testosterone. Because if he did, he would have not been able to so much as lay a hand on Mikan, and much more kiss her.

This memory stirred the anger in Natsume's gut.

Although he was calm when he spoke, he could feel a dangerous fire building inside him.

"You have nerves, Kimura," his voice, contrary to the fire, was as cold as the eyes piercing through the red-head. "You dared force yourself on her."

"I did not force myself on her," he replied matter-of-factly knowing exactly who and what Natsume meant. He was also aware that trash bins don't ignite by themselves.

Tetsuya met his cold fiery eyes equally, "I didn't have to."

Natsume's right hand conjured the flame before he even realized it, "You're a dead man, Kimura."

Though he knew he was in danger, he did not flinch, nor did he show fear.

"I do not doubt your Alice," he replied in a serious tone. He was ready to fight if it would come to that, though he hoped it does not have to. "I know you're as dangerous as they say you are. I will tell you now that I know how to fight if I have to. I would not back out. But if I humor you now, I know Mikan would not be happy about it."

"You dare talk to me about Sakura's happiness," if Kimura thought that would make Natsume consider the situation, he better think again. Natsume's anger is nearing boiling point, and nothing could probably prevent it now."You know nothing about her. You think just because you took her out on a date you're an expert now on her happiness?"

"It wasn't just a date, Natsume, and you know that. It was _the_ date," Tetsuya, changing tactic, smirked as he continued, "You look at the guys who ask Mikan out as cowards because they tremble just hearing you hiss. But in reality, you're the coward, Natsume."

His last statement caught the Black Cat's attention. Tetsuya Kimura has just called him a coward. No one has ever dared call him a coward—until now.

"What did you just say?" the flame on his hand was ready to strike. Just one wrong step from him and he's toast.

"Those guys," Kimura continued seeing his reaction as an opportunity instead. "They are actually brave. Probably braver than you could be. At least they took the chance. Even after hearing that dating Mikan also means receiving a threat from the feared Natsume Hyuuga, they still asked her out. They were brave enough to take a chance and get what they want."

Tetsuya, knowing victory was almost his, eyed him, "How about you?"

Natsume went from boiling to just simmering. Tetsuya knew he struck a chord in him, so he continued.

"You never asked her out. It pisses you off that they get to go out with her on dates, but you can't."

Natsume's flame completely died out, not just the one on his hand, but also the flame in his heart.

"You had your chance, Natsume," yes, victory is indeed his. "You had always had your chance, and you never took it. It's my chance now. You can fight me in that area if you want. I've already told you, I do not just back out."

Natsume had no reaction to that. No one has explained it to him like that. It pissed him off that he had to hear it from the irritating Kimura. And it pissed him even more that the red-head was completely right.

"Don't talk like you know me," nevertheless, he was not about to give Kimura the satisfaction.

They both turned their heads when they suddenly heard giggling girls approaching the fountain.

"Consider yourself lucky, Kimura," that was all and, like a cat, Hyuuga disappeared from the scene so quietly that the girls only saw Tetsuya Kimura looking serious by the fountain.

Kimura knew he won this battle, but there is still a war to fight.

.

He's a coward.

Who would have thought of that?

The infamous Black Cat. The feared Natsume Hyuuga. A coward.

He has fought so many battles working for the academy. He handled gun shots, car chases, abductions, and he handled those pretty well, especially for his age. But he has never handled anything that required him to pour his heart out. And that was his real problem.

Natsume was still pissed, as he sat under the Sakura tree, that it took a Tetsuya Kimura—an irritating red-head—to make him realize that.

He never really felt loved, so how would he know how to love somebody? It even took him five years to finally admit to himself that he is in love with Sakura. How many years, he wondered, would it take before he can admit it to Sakura herself?

It's not like he hasn't tried. In fact, he has tried for maybe a couple of times, but it was as if fate has a different plan for them.

_Should I just let it go now?_ he asked himself. _Should I just forget about loving her?_

But how do you exactly make it stop?

Natsume has never been so confused in his life.

"Is there a switch somewhere I didn't know about?"

"What switch?" Natsume did not realize that he mouthed his question, nor did he realize he was no longer alone under the tree.

His eyes shot open realizing who his company was, and saw the object of his predicament eying him with concern written all over her face.

"Nothing," he automatically replied sounding annoyed out of habit.

Although Mikan was supposedly used to it, her own predicament caused her to stop in shock. Her eyes widened and, Natsume could swear, started to water. But she closed her eyes for a full second and breathed deeply. She stood straight and looked away from him.

He wanted to beat himself so hard for causing her almost-tears.

"Do you really want me to go away, Natsume?"

Her serious soft tone prevented him from replying something rude again.

_What is she saying? _

Trying to regain his façade, he smirked, "You wouldn't stay away even if I ask you to."

Oblivious to the Black Cat, Mikan's fists curled into a ball trying to keep herself composed. For some reason, his reply caused a twinge of pain in her heart. No, to say it was just a twinge was so wrong. It was like a hand actually held her heart and squeezed it with its might.

But she released another deep breath and sat next to him. She was mysteriously silent, just staring straight into the woods.

"That's it?" he asked. "No 'you stupid jerk', 'you pig'? I've never known you as one to give up easily."

She let out another breath.

"Have you been taking anger management classes lately?"

Still nothing.

Natsume found her behavior quite odd. He could not help but stare at her.

_What is she thinking? _the frustration was eating up on him that he was willing to trade his Alice for Yome's if he could.

She seemed so drowned in her thoughts that she even unconsciously pouted because of whatever she was contemplating on.

The pout did not escape the Black Cat's observant eyes. He was so sure her mouth gathered into a pout the same way a mouth behaves when leaning for a…

Rage burst in him as he remembered the dreadful sunset of Valentine's Day. Then almost right after, pain followed. Natsume grew silent and still himself.

So she's still thinking of that event. It has been two days.

_Well, that's not particularly good, _he told himself. _This is killing me._

_For the first time in my life, I care for someone like this. For the first time in my life, I have this longing to be close to someone. For the first time in my life, I want to share my heart to someone._

He shifted his gaze to the woods as he continued his thoughts, _what do you do if they don't want to share theirs back? How does this go? Why do people even want to love if you have to feel this pain? I'm used to pain, but not this pain._

He ought to start getting some answers to all his questions or he just might go crazy.

"Haven't seen Kimura lately," not around her, at least. "Did he finally get tired of you?"

She let out yet another sigh, "He's giving me some space."

"Some space?"

"To think," she paused waiting for him to butt in, but when he didn't, she continued. "He told me… he has feelings for me."

Natsume's right hand curled into a fist.

_Of course he did, _he angrily thought remembering his confrontation with the red-head. _It's so like him to be quite confident and profess his love to a girl he's just met a few months ago._

And that was why, to Kimura's opinion, Natsume is a coward.

"He'd like me to give an answer," she added. "If whether I have feelings for him, too."

"Oh, so he's demanding you for an answer now," the anger was starting to show in his voice.

"He's not demanding," she instinctively stepped into his defense, which added to his irritation. "He wants me to think about it."

"Are you thinking about it?" he asked, afraid to hear the answer.

"It's all I could think of," she confessed.

He was right, she has been thinking about it, and it was not sounding good for Natsume.

He thought the pain could not get any worse anyway, so he asked, "Do you have feelings for him, too?"

She sighed, then spoke in a very low voice, he could hardly hear, "I don't know."

He was wrong. It's the answers that would drive him insane.

_But she doesn't know_, he argued internally. _That means she hasn't made up her mind yet. He still stands a chance. _

If he fights for her now, he may still stand a chance.

_But didn't she already admit she's in love with someone? _He remembered her confession that night of her birthday. If that someone isn't Kimura, does that mean he has more rival in Mikan's heart?

_Everything _is driving him insane.

"I was hoping," she spoke, pulling him from his reverie. "I was hoping to hear your opinion."

"My opinion?"

"Yeah, you always have an opinion before. About how I dress, how I behave, my choice in boys."

Does she really want to know?

He wanted to grab her on both arms and shake her, tell her to dump him. Let her know that he was mad because some other guy kissed her. He wanted her to belong with him, and not with some jerk who is extremely annoying—who didn't even care to hide his feelings for her. He wanted her to choose him. To hell with Persona! To hell with the complications! He wants to be with her.

But does she want to? Does she want to be with him, too?

He heaved a sigh before answering calmly, "I can give you my opinion, because you can be so ignorant at times—a lot of times. But it wouldn't matter."

She looked at him, brows drawn together as she tried to understand.

"No one knows better how you feel than yourself. Other people—especially your friends—may give their opinion. They can even push those opinions to you. But in the end, you follow what you feel. In the end, you actually already know what you want."

Mikan was silent.

For the first time, he made sense to her. And she felt a little better as they drift into their old comfy silence.

As she shifted her gaze back into the woods, she already knew what to do. She has formed her decision.

.

It has been more than a week since Valentine's Day, and Mikan was feeling a lot better. Coming to a decision removed that chip on her shoulder that she has been carrying since _that_ day.

She is actually back to her cheerful self now—well, almost—as she walked towards the Tea Garden.

What she was about to do is still not easy. She will be closing a door on someone—preventing any chances between them. She, instead, will be pursuing what she really wants—what she knows can make her truly happy.

"Who does Mikan Sakura think she is?" she stopped abruptly upon hearing her name.

She strained her ear to listen for the source. It was a girl's voice, and she was not alone.

She followed the voices from behind the trees. She was careful not to make any sudden noises.

There were three of them. High School girls, Mikan concluded upon seeing their uniform. She didn't know them at all. How could they be talking about her?

The tallest girl with long wavy hair, who mentioned her name, continued to speak, "If she didn't want to date those guys, why didn't she just say so? She doesn't have to send Natsume to do her dirty work for her."

Mikan froze, confused.

"But Aki said she's not aware of what Natsume was doing," the shorter girl butted in. "He said Natsume told them not to tell her about it, or they're dead."

"Please," the tall girl hissed. She seemed to be quite irritated of Mikan for some reason. "She probably was just playing innocent. I wouldn't be surprised if she gave him a love potion or something."

_What are they saying?_

The third girl spoke, "You're implying that it was Sakura who made Natsume scare Aki and the other guys during their dates?"

"Absolutely."

_No, _Mikan wasn't hearing this. These were all just her imagination.

_It has to be, _she convinced herself as she hurriedly ran away.

* * *

_**Next Chapter:** I can feel the breeze... it's coming._

_The cold and empty night has come...  
_


	13. Was it something I didn't say?

**Ready To Fall**

**

* * *

****_Author's Notes:_ **_I hope you're not yet tired of waiting. This is what we've been waiting for... Are you ready?  
_

_

* * *

_**Chapter 13: Was it something I didn't say?**

- # -

_I should have told you how I felt then. _

_Instead, I kept it to myself. Yes. I let my love go unexpressed_

'_til it was too late. You walked away._

_Was it something I didn't say when I didn't say "I love you?"_

_Was it words that you never heard?_

_All those words I should have told you._

_All those times, all those nights when I had the chance to_

_Was it something I didn't say?_

_-'Was It Something I Didn't Say?' by 98 Degrees-_

- # -

* * *

**The day of that cold and empty night…**

.

Mikan had made up her mind.

.

That conversation with Natusme a few nights ago had actually helped her reach a decision. Natsume had said that she's the only one who can really tell what she felt. And what she felt was that despite the arguments and the name-calling, she wanted to be with Natsume. It felt right for her to be right beside him.

Maybe he didn't feel the same for her—not yet, that is. But she would change that. She would show him that they belong together and would patiently wait for him, if that was what it would take.

However, in the process, she had to hurt someone. There was no easy way to do it. She would only hurt him more if she allowed him to continue his false hopes on her. She knew that the sooner she tells him her answer, the sooner he can have a chance of finding the right girl for him.

But why did it take her a week before finally meeting Tetsuya since Valentine's?

She reasoned to herself that it was not like it was easy to gather the courage to break someone's heart. And for some reason, Tetsuya was just unusually hard to find.

_Must be because of the upcoming final exams, _she concluded. _He's a senior after all._

Thanks for the help of one of Hotaru's inventions, she was able to send a message to Tetsuya requesting him to meet her at the Tea Garden.

She was on her way to their meeting place when she heard someone from behind the trees mentioned her name.

She could not believe what she just heard—what she had just discovered. For sure they cannot be real.

_Natsume won't do anything like that._

But as she contemplated, she realized the possibilities.

Then, as if the pieces of the puzzles started to fit together, it made sense to her. The weird behaviors of her dates, it wasn't because of her. It was all because of him.

_But why?_

Her cheery mood had dissipated and had been replaced by instant anger.

She was walking fast, almost running. It didn't matter where her feet would lead her. She just knew that she had to get away.

That was when she saw him, walking towards her direction.

She felt heat rose in her, and felt a nerve snapped. Unable to control herself, she lashed on him.

.

"Why you mean, Natsume Hyuuga!" a surprised Natsume stopped on his track and looked at her with shock written in his eyes. He had faced Mikan's wrath before, but not with this level of rage. "How could you? You! It was you! You sabotaged my dates! You threatened all the guys who asked me out. Now I know why they were all suddenly acting so weird."

"I don't understand what you're saying," his teeth clenched as he deliberated who among the idiots could have told her.

"It's true, isn't it?" Mikan's voice was trembling.

"Where did you even hear these things?" _Those idiots are already in their second strike. _

"It doesn't matter!"

"Who told you?" _Yes, it doesn't matter. I just have to hunt them all and teach them a lesson._

"Why do you want to know? So you'll threaten them, too?"

As if on cue, Tetsuya walked in the scene from where Mikan came from. It was Natsume who spotted him first. Realization dawned on him.

_Of course, _the Black Cat thought darkly.

.

"Kimura told you," it was more of a statement than a question.

"Why would Tetsuya even know anything about…"

She felt like she was splashed with cold water.

_It can't be, _her knees started to quiver a little. _No way._

"What's going on?" Tetsuya saw horror in Mikan's face just now, and the raven-haired in front of him had been staring at him dangerously.

Mikan didn't want to think about it, but she couldn't help it. She couldn't be mistaken. She understood now. The trash bin. It was Natsume's doing, which could only mean that he saw…

She felt her face heat up as a spasm of guilt filled her chest.

"You," Natsume focused on the new comer. "I almost thought you're a guy of integrity, Kimura. But you told her all of these so you can turn her against me."

"I don't know what you're accusing me of," he said in his defense, finally understanding what they're arguing about. He was right—Mikan won't be happy if she found out how the Black Cat spent his free time.

"Stop it, Natsume!" she yelled turning his attention on her again.

"Can't you see what he's doing?"

"Enough," she had enough. "I don't want to hear it from you. I don't want to talk to you anymore." She stared right into his eyes. "Just stay away!"

.

That shook him, what she's asking him to do. It was as if she requested him to stop breathing.

He glanced at Kimura, saw shock in his face. Though he was probably smiling inside, the Black Cat thought. Then, he looked back at her. But when she stayed firm, he gave up. He looked away and swiftly disappeared on the woods like the cat he was.

.

.

He kept playing it in his mind—how Mikan reacted. She was angry. There was no reasoning with her—though it was not like he could explain what he did.

_And she took his side, _he felt a sting as he remembered how the love of his life jumped in defense of another man. He didn't know a simple gesture could hurt that much. _Maybe she does love Kimura. _

What was he to do now? Did that mean he has lost her? In trying to protect her, did he lose her?

The wind blew, sending a shiver through his spine, but he did not budge. The cool ground under the Sakura tree did not even compare to the coldness he felt inside. It was like his fire was starting to die out.

"I'm giving you a chance to explain yourself, Natsume," he was busy battling with his emotions that he did not notice her come. In fact, he was not expecting her to be there at all.

After their encounter that afternoon, he was almost certain she would not meet him under the tree. But she's still Mikan. She won't last a night without trying to make-up with whomever she fought with. No matter how many times he pushed her away, she kept coming back. She always came back.

"Why did you do it?" she asked, eyes fixed on him.

Even under the circumstances, he could not bring himself to tell her why.

"I thought you want me stay away," he swallowed a lump on his throat.

"Tetsuya advised me to at least hear your side,"

_Tetsuya again, _he gritted his teeth. Unbelievable! She's still choosing his side.

_It's not like you've given her anything to do otherwise,_ a small voice in his head reasoned out, but he didn't listen.

"Why do I have to explain anything?" he said coldly.

"I just need an answer," she was trying so hard not to lose her temper again. She kept telling herself she needed this. "Why go all the trouble?"

_Answer? For what? _Now he was being stubborn. _So I can humiliate myself?_

He went for the half-truth approach, "Because you're so ignorant. You can't protect yourself. You're too trusting."

Hope flickered in her eyes, but he interpreted it as amusement, "Are you saying you care about me?"

_Yes!_ His head screamed. _I love you. I'm in love with you, and I'm going crazy thinking about you._

He started to mouth those words, but the annoying red-head kept popping in his mind.

No, he won't be the fool here. He, at least, would still have his pride to keep.

He looked away. He couldn't deliver a lie if he had to look into her eyes.

"Why would I care?" he sneered, the old Natsume coming back. "I just don't want to be responsible when something bad happens to you while you're proving that someone would like you despite what I told you that no one would."

She could already feel her hold on her temper slipping. Hot tears are threatening to form in her eyes.

"So that was really it, isn't it?" But she won't give him the satisfaction of showing him how hurt she was because of his words. "You want to prove that no one would like me. That's just child's play for you, huh? I'm just an entertainment to you. But you don't really care."

Was that hurt he saw in her eyes?

No. It was hatred. She was looking at him now with so much hatred.

She pulled herself together, and took a deep breath before she spoke again, not yelling—but calmly, coldly. "Well don't worry. I'll take away your burden. I'll just agree to it now that no one would like me. No guy would take me seriously—would like to get close to me, because I'm childish, annoying and such an idiot. From now on, you don't have to think about _this_ idiot. From now on, stay away from me, Natsume. I don't want to see you, and I don't want to talk to you anymore. Don't pretend like you care at all. I'm tired and I've had enough"

Before she turned her back, she added, "And don't act like a jealous boyfriend when you don't even have the guts to be one."

She walked away, almost running, leaving him cold and empty.

* * *

_**Next Chapter:** The cold and empty night is over... but for Natsume, it seemed to linger..._

_How will this incident affect Mikan's choice?  
_


	14. What hurts the most

**Ready To Fall**

**

* * *

****Chapter 14: What hurts the most**

- # -

_But I know if I could do it over, I would trade _

_Give away all the words that I saved in my heart that I left unspoken._

_What hurts the most is being so close_

_And having so much to say, and watching you walk away._

_And never knowing what could have been_

_And not seeing that loving you is what I was trying to do._

_-'What Hurts The Most' by Rascal Flatts-_

- # -

**

* * *

One day after that cold and empty night…**

Natsume did not feel like eating.

He wanted to skip school and avoid everyone altogether. But he couldn't. Final exams were coming and it would not be good for him to skip classes now.

A lie. He knew his reasons were all a lie. He never cared much about final exams and his class standing. He could ace the exams with his eyes closed.

The truth was he wanted to pretend last night did not happen—their argument did not happen. That he did not stay up all night trying to erase the memory. But the empty seat next to him at the Dining Hall proved that last night—all of it—indeed, happened. The hole in his chest even confirmed that.

What went wrong? He probably knew the answer to that, yet he was still confused. But mostly he was devastated.

He lost her. _That_ as much was clear.

"This is so unlike Mikan to skip lunch," Iinchou commented on their friend's absence.

The awkwardness between the two did not go unnoticed to the group. Especially when Mikan decided to skip lunch, there's no denying she's avoiding someone. And that someone could only be the Black Cat.

"What happened, Natsume?" the animal lover asked, making him look up from his untouched food.

He looked at each of the faces around the table. Everyone of them had memorable experiences last Valentine's Day. Ruka and Imai. Mochu and Anna. Yome and Nonoko. Even Permy and Inchou. Valentine's made them happier. Unlike Natsume, Valentine's lead him to eventually lose the only girl he really cared about.

They were all looking at him apprehensively, waiting for him to answer. He knew each one wanted to know what happened but only Ruka was brave enough to ask.

"What made you think I know?"

He stood and walked away. He had no answers to offer them anyway.

.

"I don't understand."

That night, Ruka couldn't help but blurt it out, despite Hotaru's request for silence as she worked on her latest invention.

She finished bolting in the last nut, and then turned to him. She was slightly annoyed of the interference, but she was curious herself.

She sighed, "Maybe she found out that he knew about the kiss."

If they were Mikan, knowing that Natsume found out about it—worse, witnessed it—they'll freak out, too.

They have both been bothered by that information when Ruka shared to her what Yome told him regarding Natsume's thoughts. They were both rooting for their bestfriends. But with Tetsuya suddenly in the picture, things became complicated.

"Maybe we should bring in Yome again," he suggested desperately.

She walked towards him on the couch where he was seated. She knocked his head once before dropping next to him.

"That's just low, even for you."

He sighed. She was right. But how could they help without knowing what happened?

When he told her this, she said, "I'll try to talk to Mikan. Maybe we'll have more luck there."

The blonde boy hoped she's right. They really have to know what was going on.

.

Hotaru found Mikan the next day near Mr. Bear's cabin.

The Genius Inventor thought their friends' argument must have been serious if Mikan suddenly started hanging out deep in the Northern Forest just to avoid Hyuuga.

She sat on the log, next to Mikan, watching Mr. Bear tend to his mini garden.

"I've told you this before," she started. "I'm a good listener. But you have to start talking, so I can start listening."

The brunette heaved a sigh before speaking, "I'm done with him, Hotaru."

"You sound pretty final. Are you sure?"

Mikan watched Mr. Bear plucked out the unwanted weeds around his daisies.

If only plucking out the bad feelings and pain in her heart could be as easy.

"What happened, Mikan?" the raven-haired urged.

"All this time," she looked down and stared at her knees as she started to tell her bestfriend the story. "I thought maybe he's starting to care about me. I thought, even if he's calling me stupid, idiot, calling me names…"

Hotaru wanted to butt in that she does the same to her, but decided to keep it to herself instead and let her continue.

"I thought, maybe, despite that, he doesn't really mean it—like, he just got used to calling me those. But I was wrong."

Hotaru was starting to understand the problem.

"He even had to go the extra mile just to prove me wrong."

Yes, she understood now, "What made you say that?"

"He told me,"

"He told you?" that made Hotaru raise a brow.

Mikan only nodded.

_That stupid Hyuuga, _she thought itching to hit the Black Cat with her Baka Gun.

She leaned her forehead on her knees, "I thought love was supposed to make you happy?"

Hotaru was not used to seeing her friend like this. It used to be easy to turn her sadness into happiness.

"It does." She stroked her friend's hair hoping that could at least give her comfort. "If it's shared with the right person"

.

Ruka had been watching his bestfriend for more than half an hour doing nothing but lay on his bed like a dead person with his arms spread widely and a pillow over his face. If not for the steady up and down motion of his chest, he would have already poked him just to check if he was still breathing.

"I know you're not sleeping," Ruka finally said. He figured he waited long enough. "So you better start talking to me. I've been here for thirty minutes and you haven't spoken a word. A person can only wait for so long."

"No one asked you to wait," the Black Cat mumbled against the pillow.

Ruka sighed, a bit relieved. Irritated was better than impassive. At least he started to talk.

"Should I start guessing, instead?"

"Leave me alone."

"I've already done a lot of that."

Natsume pushed the pillow aside and sat up facing Ruka.

"What do you want to hear?" he yapped. "That you're right? You're right all along? Okay, you're right. I love Mikan. Alright? I do love her. There, I've said it."

_Finally! _Hope sparked in Ruka's eyes, "Then why don't you tell her?"

"Why should I?"

_Still being stubborn_, Ruka thought.

"So I could look like a fool?" Natsume sneered. "I'm not even sure she feels the same way. For all I know, she'll just laugh at me, then ran off to meet Kimura."

Ruka heaved another sigh, "So instead, you sabotaged her dates and calls her names."

How could he make his bestfriend understand? If only he could tell him that Mikan was obviously hurting right now because she has feelings for him, too. But he promised Hotaru that he won't—that he has to let Natsume realize that himself, or he'll never learn.

"I was protecting her," Natsume's voice lowered.

Though Ruka hardly do so, he sneered, "Well, you did a pretty good job protecting her. In fact, you did too well that you have protected her from you as well."

His friend only looked at him, obviously hurting.

It was disturbing seeing him hurt like that—not just because Natsume was his bestfriend—but the facade of the cold, dangerous Black Cat was completely gone. He just looked fragile. His love for his girlfriend was the only thing keeping him from revealing everything to him so Natsume could feel better.

Ruka sighed again, feeling a little guilty. He somehow felt responsible, because they have been pushing their bestfriends to each other. Did they push too hard?

They, especially him, had hoped for a happy ending, not this. Now, he just hoped that their friends could get past this—could get past their first real heartbreak.

"Natsume," he heaved another sigh. If their wish for their friends to be together wasn't going to happen, he would at least just want to put things back to normal—he wanted Mikan and Natsume to be friends again."You said you love her, but you're worried of becoming a fool if she doesn't love you back. Since when did you place your pride first before the people you care about? Since when did you become selfish?"

He saw the fire started to flicker again in his eyes, making its color seemed a little amber than red. For Ruka, that was a good start. A little of the normal Natsume was coming back.

"Where's the Natsume, who was willing to face all the demands and punishment from Persona just so his friend won't have to see the darker side of this academy? Where's the Natsume, who risked his life, used himself as a distraction, so Mikan and Permy can escape?"

Natsume seemed to contemplate on this.

Ruka stood to leave, then turned before opening the door, "As you've said, you were protecting her, but were you really? Or were you protecting yourself?"

.

Natsume had another sleepless night, resulting to the killer migraine he had that morning. He would surely end up in the hospital if he would not be able to get a grip soon. Sleepless nights, migraine and heartache. Just great!

Ruka's words have been echoing in his room the whole evening. Heck, even as he lie on a branch atop a tree near the Elementary Building, somewhere without walls except for the leaves covering him, his friend's words still managed to echo!

He had been asking himself, could he be right?

Had he been selfish all this time?

He knew he thought of his pride more than he used to, but was that selfish?

How do people do this? How do they handle love—relationships? It seemed too complicated for a teenager—even for someone who had a mind older than his age. Or especially to someone who had a mind older than his age?

Why can't love come with a manual?

The Animal Lover said he was protecting himself.

_Where does Ruka get all of these?_

He doubted Ruka was having philosophical conversations with the animals he encountered. Then, there could only be one. Imai.

Back then, Natsume thought the Genius Inventor would never in a million years get into a relationship with someone. Though he couldn't say that her relationship with Ruka had not been good for either of them. The couple, though sometimes odd, seemed to complement each other.

He suddenly had a pang of envy. Why can't he have that?

Was he really meant to spend his life alone?

Did he want that for Mikan as well?

If he wanted to be with the person he loves, he would want Mikan to have the same.

Yes, he wanted Mikan to be happy as well, like Ruka and Imai.

Natsume swallowed a bitter taste from his throat. Even if that meant letting her be with Kimura.

He shifted as he growled at the thought, losing his balance in the process. The next thing he knew, his body left the branch, but thankfully managed to move his legs and twisted his torso, letting him still land on his feet like the Black Cat he was.

"Oh goodness," he heard someone squealed as his feet touched the ground. He found a startled Yome standing in front of him.

"What were you doing on top of a tree, Natsume?" the Mind-reader asked when he finally got his bearings back. "Did you just fall?"

"No," he knew Yome could read through his lie, but the stare he gave stopped him from calling it.

"What are you doing here?" Natsume asked as he brushed leaves off his sweater.

"I'm just on my way back to the dorm."

He stopped and eyed his friend suspiciously. Yome shifted uncomfortably, unable to look at him straight in the eye.

"Dorm's on the other side of the Elementary Building," his tone reminded Yome how dangerous Natsume can be. "Have you been listening on me?"

"No, no way!" he answered too quickly.

Natsume's brows crossed, and Yome caved in, "Alright I was, but I didn't mean to. I was just walking around, and then I heard you. You seemed so disturbed, so I came to check. I didn't intend to listen on your thoughts. They were so loud that I thought you were actually speaking to someone, I was just curious who it might be."

_Why did that sound like I somewhat have a multiple personality disorder? _Natsume thought. _ I knew it, I'm going crazy._

"No you're not," Yome replied to his unspoken words before he could stop himself, which earned him a glare from the Black Cat. But he swallowed and finished his sentence anyway. "You're just confused."

Surprise registered on Natsume's face. Surprise because he heard the utter concern in Yome's voice. Concern and, somewhat, compassion.

Having friends who genuinely care for him still amazed him sometimes.

He sighed and leaned on the tree.

_Maybe being alone won't be so lonely._

"Kimura was in your class, right?"

Yome stayed still, wasn't sure where his sudden question about Tetsuya was heading.

"Is he really a nice guy?" he continued before his concerned friend was even able to answer.

Yome considered him for a second.

_You're not reading my mind again, are you?_

He jumped at Natsume's mental tone, as if he verbalized his threat.

"I'm sorry," he mumbled before continuing to answer. "He is. He wasn't like the other seniors who were just nice while we're in the combination classes, but who became strangers outside the classrooms. Tetsu—He was different. He would go the extra mile to help us juniors. He reminded me of Andou Tsubasa to Mik—his juniors."

Natsume would have laughed at Yome's obvious effort not to mention Mikan's and Kimura's names, but he was seriously considering his statement, his impression of Kimura.

Natsume bitterly swallowed. If he really thought about it, Kimura has never behaved improperly—except on Valentine's Day, when he almost burned the red-head to ashes. Of all the guys who approached Mikan, he could probably say that he has the most genuine intentions.

Maybe Kimura was truly in love with Mikan Sakura. His Mikan.

He sighed. Not anymore.

As he gazed at Yome, he, no doubt, saw concern and compassion in his eyes-and maybe, just a hint of pity.

.

Tetsuya felt danger even before he saw him. The tension in the air was so evident that he did not even have to see the feared Black Cat leaning on a tree, obviously waiting with his hands in his pocket, a few yards away from the Tea Garden.

There was no doubt in Tetsuya's mind that he was waiting for him. Natsume knew too well that he spent most of his afternoon break at the Tea Garden—some of those breaks were even spent with Mikan, who was most likely the reason why he was seeking him.

When Tetsuya stopped in front of him, Natsume straightened his stance and looked at him as if he sensed him as well.

"I don't have the time to argue with you, Hyuuga," he was the first one to break the tension.

He could almost see the fire burning in those red orbs, but just as quickly, he saw the fire simmered.

"Good," he nodded—to Tetsuya's surprise. "I need you to listen."

* * *

**_Author's Notes:_ **_I could only hope it's worth the wait for you. When I wrote the first chapter of Ready To Fall, I already have outlined the flow of the whole story. Rest assured that I'm not just dragging the story to make it longer. Just four more chapters left, including the Epilogue. _

_I would also like to take this opportunity to apologize, again, for the late posting. I don't really have control over my time, because I work full time. Still, I really want to see this story through. So I'll definitely finish this. Another reason why posting new chapters take longer is because I make sure I would have at least 1 complete chapter sitting in my hard drive before posting another chapter. Meaning, as I post Chapter 14, Chapter 15 is also already finished and just waiting for Chapter 16 to be finished as well, before I post 15th._

_I hope you stretch you patience a little more for me. And thank you for all the support you've been showing and giving me.  
_

_**Next Chapter:** What could Natsume possibly want with Kimura now? _

_Winter is almost done... Sun is starting to shine... but will there also be light for Natsume and Mikan?_


	15. Fall To Pieces

**Ready To Fall**

**

* * *

**

_**Author's Notes: **This is for _destinyismine, _and for all the readers who patiently and impatiently waited for this story. If you want to know how it will all come together, or at least, how will Mikan and Natsume ever get through this, you won't have to wait any longer. Cheers! _

_

* * *

_**Chapter 15: Fall to pieces**

- # -

_And I don't wanna fall to pieces. I just wanna sit and stare at you_

_I don't wanna talk about it. And I don't want a conversation_

_I just wanna cry in front of you._

_I don't wanna talk about it, _

'_cause I'm in love with you_

_-'Fall To Pieces' by Avril Lavigne-_

- # -

**

* * *

One week and five days after that cold and empty night…**

.

Spring is coming.

.

The cold winter air was finally leaving the Academy. The students can now opt not to wear their thick coats and scarves when they went to their respective classes. Although evenings still tend to be freezing without the aid of the soothing fireplace or electronic heater, at least they see more of the sun during the day.

Spring, however, also meant that final exams are coming and the Dining Hall was filled, not only of diners but also of students having group studies preparing for that one-week of hell in the Academy.

Some were more relaxed than others. Some could not seem to concentrate on their exams at all.

Amongst them was Tetsuya Kimura.

He was in his usual spot by the fountain behind the High School building. Instead of books, he was more focused on his music. With eyes closed, he continuously let his hands do the playing while his mind wandered.

_Love no matter who you are, no matter how educated or mature, it always comes as a wonder. You may be prepared for anything, not afraid of anything, but when you stumble on love, at some point, you will doubt your ability, your capacity._

_Selfless people suddenly becomes selfish, then selfless again as they come to surrender to it. _

All these thoughts can be attributed to his encounter with the Black Cat two days ago.

_Can I really fight this war? Do I even really have a chance to win it?_ He never had thought he would doubt his ability to stand against him.

Sure, he's taller and he's older than the boy. Sure, he has the Super Strength Alice.

But those fires in the Black Cat's eyes seemed way stronger than his cool, neutral grays.

Hyuuga's determination to see things through once he has made his decision, no matter who gets hurt, unnerved him.

But _who_ would really get hurt?

.

.

"Are you sure about this?" Hotaru, despite her indifferent tone, was genuinely concerned on how hard her bestfriend has been sticking her nose in their textbooks.

Exams were just a week away, and that would have made her effort reasonable, but Hotaru knew the real reason Mikan hardly drove her attention away from her studying materials.

Hotaru sighed, "Maybe we should start with an easier topic."

"Are you kidding?" she exclaimed, back to her energetic self. "It's like you're saying I can't handle sine, cosine and tangents."

"My thoughts exactly," she mumbled under her breath.

"Nonsense!" Mikan yapped, obviously heard what her friend had said. She even stood to emphasize her point. "I'm no longer the slow and no-star Mikan Sakura, I can handle Advanced Trigonometry."

Hotaru sighed.

"What's happening here?" as if on cue, Sumire and the other Otaku sisters joined them in the table at the Dining Hall.

The dinner crowd has thinned and was replaced by study groups and individuals with books and notes, instead of trays and food.

"Advanced Trigonometry, Mikan?" Anna asked concern reflecting in her face.

Mikan sat, as their other friends joined them in the table.

"Why not?" she challenged.

Her friends looked at each other instead of giving her an answer. Hotaru knew the look exchanged on the table was not due to their concern if Mikan can, indeed, really handle the subject, but if Mikan is avoiding to handle a totally different subject—one that was in no way going to be part of their final exams next week.

"How long have you been studying?" Nonoko spoke echoing the same concern in her voice.

"Since they cleared up the dinner buffet," Hotaru replied. "Four hours ago."

"That's it!" Sumire dropped her hands, palms down, on the table, resulting to angry stares from the neighboring table as if they were in the library, which she secretly commented before continuing, voice slightly lowered. "Stop this, Mikan. Enough of this front. We know you're just distracting yourself."

Hotaru saw the brunette clenched her fist, but her voice never showed the restrained irritation, "I'm not distracting myself. I'm trying to focus."

"Mikan," Anna pressed. "We're just concern about you—about how hard you're pushing yourself."

Mikan stared at her fist, exhaled deeply then inhaled again as she faced them with determined eyes.

"You think I can't do this," her tone seemed to pertain to something else. Hotaru was then sure that Mikan understood exactly their friends' concern—she knew it has nothing to do with her grades or standing in class, but how her heart was standing at all. "Fine. If you're not gonna help me study, I'll study by myself in my room."

No one was able to stop her in gathering her books and marching out of the hall.

Hotaru could only follow her with her eyes as she left, and sighed.

_How did things get so messed up?_

_._

_.  
_

Mikan felt something cold dropped on her arm holding the book across her chest. She reflexively touched her cheeks, and was startled to find it wet.

Had she been crying all the way from the Dining Hall to her room?

She was only relieved that her friends didn't see the tears forming in her eyes.

She felt bad. She knew they were only concerned about her. She knew they meant well.

But right now, focusing on something else—even if that meant burying herself with textbooks every night—was the only way to not make her mind wander and her heart ache.

She had succeeded in avoiding him for the past two weeks since their fight under the Sakura Tree.

This time, she would stay firm. She would not be tempted to reconcile with him—to concede defeat.

Oh, but how she missed him! Heaven knew she missed him.

It broke her heart every time she stole a glance from him and see him like the old person he was. The distant, loner and indifferent Black Cat.

What hurt her more was that he didn't seem to be affected at all by their cold war. It was like she was in the battle alone—raging with fury, ready to fight—but there was no enemy.

_How can he look so calm, when I'm banging my head just to stop thinking about him? _

That pushed the stake in her heart deeper.

_It only goes to show how much he really doesn't care about me._

At that, Mikan dropped the books she was carrying on her bed, before they get soaked with the unstoppable tears flowing from her eyes like a broken dam.

She went to the bathroom and splashed cold water on her face, cleansing the tears as well.

When she looked up, she saw her sad state in the mirror and more tears bubbled up in her eyes, but was halted when she heard the gentle knock on her door.

"It's me," Hotaru said when she asked who it was.

She washed her face some more, then wiped it dry before opening the door to her bestfriend. Hopefully Hotaru would not notice the slight puffiness of her eyes, but she was doubtful.

Even if concern filled her friend's face the moment she saw hers, she didn't say anything, but just stepped inside her room.

Hotaru took her usual spot on the comfy couch near the fireplace, not needing an invitation.

Mikan fussed with the books on her bed as she anxiously waited for the raven-haired to talk.

"Are you here to help me with Trigonometry?" she asked when she was sure her voice won't tremble, and when Hotaru still didn't speak.

Hotaru shook her head once. "I'm here to listen."

Mikan dropped the books again, sat on the edge of the bed and looked at her bestfriend. The dam burst once more, despite all her efforts to restrain it, just by looking at her friend straight in the eyes.

She wiped her face frantically, hoping to erase the tears away but to no avail.

"I'm sorry," she said in between sobs. "I'm hopeless." Then she added, remembering his words. "I really am such an idiot."

Hotaru sighed. "You know you're not."

Mikan covered her face with her hands and sobbed. She really couldn't stop it now.

For days, she has been successful in keeping her tears at bay—her mood energetic, normal—running away from the pain, like how she walked away from him that night.

But now, everything has just—finally—caught up with her. And the pain was crushing her heart—squeezing it so tight, she wondered how she was still breathing.

She felt arms wrapped around her, pulling her to a comforting embrace. She allowed herself to be taken and be cradled in Hotaru's surprising warmth.

For a moment, it reminded her how Hotaru can be so caring despite her stoic expression and neutral tone. And she was thankful.

"It's better to let it out," Hotaru said in that tone that Mikan had just thought. "You'll feel better after."

Mikan looked at her with hopeful eyes, "Really?"

Hotaru nodded once, "At least a little better."

Then she sobbed some more, and hoped her friend was right.


	16. You're In Love

**Ready To Fall**

**

* * *

Chapter 16: You're in love**

- # -

_You're in love. That's the way it should be_

'_cause I want you to be happy._

_You're in love and I know that you're not in love with me._

_Ooh it's enough for me to know that you're in love_

_Now I'll let you go 'cause I know_

_That you're in love._

_-'You're In Love' by Wilson Phillips-_

- # -

**

* * *

Three weeks and two days after that cold and empty night…**

.

Exams came and went.

.

The weight has been lifted off from most of the students. Some feel the pressure even more as they waited for the results.

For Mikan, it was all the same—her feelings before and after the exams. Although, she did felt a little better after crying that night in her room, with Hotaru comforting her.

Her friends didn't bother her anymore about her feelings, but she saw their silent concern as she covered herself with more books the day after that night. She guessed they have just gotten busy themselves to keep arguing with her.

Now that the last of the exams were behind her, she somehow felt vulnerable again. She can't hide anymore with her books.

That, after a long time, made Mikan genuinely smile. Who would have thought the time will come for her to gain comfort from books—from studying?

The sun was shining brightly—indicating the last of the winter season was gone as well, and spring has completely took its place.

"It's so exciting!" Sumire blurted out and twirled merrily as they walked around Central Town, just them, girls. For some reason, during the past few weeks, their group has been divided in to two. It wasn't decreed, but it seemed there was a consensus that the girls should join Mikan, and the boys should join Natsume. Although, it was not like they were taking sides. Mikan thought her friends probably just wanted to lessen the awkwardness when they were all together, especially at meal time.

Also, as if in silent agreement, Natsume and Mikan found themselves shifting schedules on who should join their friends in the Dining Hall during meals. However, the arrangement took all the energy and effort in Mikan not to worry about him when he was not joining them, wondering if he was skipping meals instead.

But it has been three weeks and she never once asked about his whereabouts when he was not with them—and she was always dying to know.

"The Sakura trees are blooming, and just three days left before the Sakura Festival Ball," Sumire continued, oblivious to the thoughts running in Mikan's head.

_Sakura trees._

_A Sakura tree._

_Our Sakura tree._

"Do you have a calendar reminder of all the occasions, Sumire?" Nonoko asked half-joking and half-serious. "You seem to be always the first person to mention these occasions."

"What's so wrong with that?" she replied, pointing her nose up in defense. "I just happen to enjoy holidays, festivals, gatherings and dancing."

Just like the rest of Japan, Alice Academy also celebrates the Sakura Festival. For a week after the exam, the Central Town would be swarming with little stalls, selling various items related to the Sakura tree or the spring season, in general. And at the end of the week, the last night would be the Sakura Festival Ball. The Assembly Area in the Academy would be turned into an open ballroom, filled with paper lanterns hanging on the Sakura trees surrounding the area. Some of it, courtesy of the Technical Ability Class, will be floating around the space of the make-shift dance floor, which would be surrounded by tables for dining groups of five to ten people each.

Mikan had always enjoyed the Festivals, because it was during those occasions that the whole Academy seemed to come as one. No matter from what Alice Class the students belong, in Festivals, everyone cooperated, everyone participated.

That was then.

That was before three weeks ago.

Mikan wasn't certain how she was going to enjoy the Festival now.

How could she enjoy when a big part of the reason she enjoyed them was missing.

And the Sakura Festival Ball. The Last Dance.

She hardly danced for the Last Dance, because she knew the person she wanted to dance with would never accept her invitation.

And that thought hurt more now, because now she couldn't even think about extending the invitation to him.

"Tetsuya would probably look good in a suit," she heard Sumire commented.

Apparently, her friends' conversation had already led to the argument on the who-can-wear-it-better category.

"I would have to agree," Nonoko replied bobbing her head to emphasize her agreement.

Mikan smiled. _Yes, Tetsuya would indeed look good in a suit._

Mikan also hardly see him lately, which was only because of the exams. In fact, Mikan received an invitation from the red-head to have tea the day before the ball, which she also already accepted.

Tetsuya was a nice guy, and even if she wasn't sure yet if their relationship could go any further than just being friends, she wouldn't want to distance herself from him. He was still her friend.

Can she and Natsume ever be friends again? She wondered.

"Natsume also looks good in a suit," Anna blurted out, which earned her a tensed stare from Sumire and Nonoko.

"I'm sorry," she mumbled.

"He does look good in a suit," Mikan didn't realize she said that aloud.

Now four pairs of eyes looked at her in surprise, including Hotaru who has been quiet this whole time—but suddenly showing a hint of smile.

She looked away, pretending a food stall caught her attention, to hide her beet-red cheeks.

.

.

Mikan was supposed to meet Tetsuya by the fountain before they go to the Tea Garden.

Most of the students were in Central Town, busying themselves with the additional stalls there in lieu of the Festival, so the spot behind the High School building was practically empty-except for Mikan, who arrived earlier than their agreed time.

It wasn't like she had a lot to fuss about. The one person she used to fuss about was the one person she wouldn't want to think of right now.

She shook her head vigorously.

_Why do my thoughts always seem to fly to him?_

_Get a grip of yourself, Mikan! _She kept repeating that mentally like a mantra, until Tetsuya finally arrived and sat next to her by the fountain.

"It felt like forever since we last saw each other," said Tetsuya, looking at her with smiling eyes.

Her heart warmed at the sight of him. She just felt comfortable with him, despite the supposed awkwardness brought about by that moment on Valentine's Day.

Mikan laughed, "It's not that long."

"Well, it felt like it is,"

She then thought that maybe she was right not to close the doors on Tetsuya. He, at least, knew how to make her laugh. He, at least, didn't call her names nor did he criticize how she dressed and how she handled herself.

Mikan groaned in frustration secretly. _Everything just goes back to thoughts of him._

"Before I forget," Tetsuya handed her a medium-sized pink box. Her eyes lit, knowing exactly what the box contained. "I bought this for you."

"Fluff puffs?" her smile, finally, reached her eyes. If only Tetsuya knew it's one of her most favorite things in the world.

"I thought you have to eat it before you feel the happiness," he joked. "But it seems that it's already taking effect just by looking at it."

"Thank you, Tetsuya," she replied instead still smiling.

She held the box on her lap, and fought the urge to open it and put all the fluffy candies in her mouth. They just might have something she really needed at the time.

"You're welcome."

They grew silent for a while.

Tetsuya looked at the trees in front of them, blooming in faded pinks.

"Did you know that the Sakura blossoms have been used as a metaphor for youth?" Tetsuya turned to glance at her when she didn't answer.

Mikan looked at him, seemingly interested with the trivia he just shared, urging him to continue.

Tetsuya turned his gaze back to the trees and explained, "Since the Sakura Blossoms fall off the tree just after a few days, they say that it's the same with youth. It's beautiful—wonderful—but passes by fast. It can disappear in a blink of an eye."

He laughed upon seeing the obvious confusion on her face, which made her pout even more.

"You know," she started, pretending to be annoyed. "I have just finished studying, stuffing my head with all the lessons I had to remember for the exams. I don't think my brain can take any puzzles right now."

"They are just merely saying to seize the day," he explained. "To not waste time. If we want to do something, to achieve something, we should go for it while we still can."

She seemed to understand. Although, she wondered why Tetsuya suddenly mentioned this to her. When finally she couldn't help herself but ask, his face lost all traces of humor, and suddenly became serious.

He looked her straight in the eyes, and made Mikan gasp.

"Natsume came to talk to me."

* * *

_**Next Chapter:** Ready To Fall's last chapter ahead...  
_


	17. Honestly

**Ready To Fall**

**

* * *

Chapter 17: Honestly**

- # -

_Find me in the evening _

_when you're ready to dance_

_And I will take you to the places_

_where you never thought you'd had a chance to love_

_Love. Love is all we have._

_I would run myself in circles here without you._

_-'Honestly' by Bethany Joy Lenz-_

- # -

**

* * *

Three weeks and four days after that cold and empty night…**

.

Natsume Hyuuga was the last person Mikan wanted to hear about that day.

.

She was happy and enjoying the company. It's Sakura Festival—it's _supposed_ to be fun. It's a sign that school was done. No more exams. No more cranky teachers. No more homeworks. No more pop quizzes.

_Why would Natsume talk to Tetsuya? _She couldn't help thinking.

"He warned me actually," the red-head cleared.

"What?" Mikan snapped. She could not believe that he was doing it again. "Why that Natsume! I already told him to stay out of it."

"It's okay," Tetsuya said, a little amused. "It actually made me realize something."

Mikan blinked confused, "What do you mean?"

He sighed, and turned to look at the trees again—afraid to see her reaction to his question.

"Mikan, why do you think Natsume threatens every single guy who even so much as tried to look at you?"

Didn't she already ask Natsume himself that same question?

She gave him the same answer she got from that night. "Because he wanted to prove that no one will like me because of my behavior. You see, I'm noisy, annoying, childish and quite an idiot."

The last word put a lump on her throat, which took all her effort to not start crying.

_I'm done crying, _she scolded herself mentally.

"Interesting," he mumbled.

"What's interesting?"

"You want to know the reason he talked to me?"

She wanted to say "No, I don't, because I don't care." But she knew that would be a big fat lie. She wanted to hear it. In truth, she wanted to hear anything that was even remotely related to him. And it's making her feel sadder for herself, which is why she didn't answer.

But he already knew the answer, so he continued. "He said that he didn't come to stop me from seeing you. He said that he's not going to do anything. If you want to see me, then it's your choice." Tetsuya grinned as if remembering the odd encounter with the Black Cat, the feared Natsume Hyuuga. "He asked me to promise not to hurt you. That I better not make you cry. Because if he so much as see a single tear from you, he would turn every single bone, every single strand of hair and every chip of nail in my body into ashes. Then, he would use it to fertilize Mr. Misaki's plants."

"That's kind of brutal," she said with no conviction—traces of anger almost gone. Mikan was now staring at the box of fluff puffs on her lap. She was trying to process the meaning of what Tetsuya was saying.

"He actually gave me the Howalon idea," then, as if everything around Mikan turned to blur, she could only see the raven-haired boy mouthing out himself all that Tetsuya was relaying to her. "He said, 'when she seems down, you just have to buy her Howalons. She's quite easy to cheer up. She likes peppermint in her chocolate, so don't argue with her about it—I know, it makes no sense, but just let her have it. Also remember that she's afraid of the dark. Better keep a flashlight handy. She likes sharing food. She says sharing is enjoying. Don't be annoyed by it. That's just Mikan. Also, she could be ignorant and childish at times, so you might have to explain things to her more than once. And when she starts talking about her grandfather, it means that she misses home. It could cause her to be depressed the whole day. She would be smiling despite of that, but don't be fooled. Howalons could also help in those situations."

Silence took over for about a minute.

"That stupid Natsume," Mikan said in almost a whisper.

Tetsuya held his breath and finally looked at her. He was startled when he saw her face.

They were both suddenly aware of the tears flowing down her cheeks.

"My, I just broke my promise to Natsume. If he finds this out, I would surely wake up as fertilizer to Mr. Misaki's plants. Heck, if I do wake up at all."

"I'm sorry," she apologized, wiping the tears off her face with the back of her hands. "I didn't realize I was crying."

Mikan remembered those days they argued on just about anything. It came back to her that no matter how annoyed they get from each other, they still sat next to each other in the Dining Hall and they still met under the tree—under the Sakura tree—under their tree.

She remembered how Natsume was always there for her, when she was upset, when she was afraid. He was mostly annoyed with her, but he was always there.

"Mikan," Tetsuya pulled her from her thoughts.

She turned to look at him, "I'm sorry, Tetsuya."

They both knew that the apology was no longer for the tears she just shed.

He sighed, understanding, "You love him."

"And I really wish I don't," she felt more tears trying to escape from her brown orbs. "All this time, I thought he was hurting me. I thought it was a game for him, something he does to irritate me—to emphasize how poor my behavior is. When, actually, all this time he's been trying to protect me. He really cares about me. He really… He probably… It's because—"

"Because he loves you, too," he finished for her.

She fell silent.

"Wow," Tetsuya looked away. "Now I know how Natsume felt when he realized he was losing you."

Mikan wiped the last of her tears away. Remembering the candies on her lap, she handed it back to him, "Here."

He looked at the box and gently shoved it back to her, "You can keep it. I really bought it for you."

She thought about it, and then nodded, "How about we share it? I think we can both use some happiness right now."

"Okay," even when his heart was hurting, Tetsuya couldn't hide a smile. There's still something about Mikan that always made him feel better. "I guess Natsume was right about you and sharing food."

She finally showed him a smile.

.

.

Ever since morning, it seemed the whole Academy was busying itself to the most anticipated Sakura Festival Ball.

Decorations were being prepared. Food was being catered. Intermission numbers were being rehearsed. But as the sun started to make its descent, students and faculty alike went back to their own rooms to prepare themselves.

Voices can be heard from dorm rooms, asking each other what shoes would go better with their gowns or their suits, or what accessories to wear, or how they'll fix their hair, and even how they think the evening would turn out for them.

Natsume heard it all.

Despite the closed quarters of his room, it didn't spare him from all the excited conversations around the Middle School Dormitory.

He, unlike the rest of the school, was just sitting by his window sill, holding an unread manga that seemed to have become a permanent prop for him. He was still wearing his normal casual clothes, with no plans of getting in a suit and tie for the evening.

He would not subject himself to anymore torture by watching the love of his life dance with anyone else, while she ignored him.

He has done his part. He has let her go. He has let her be with whom she wanted to be with.

Didn't it hurt? Of course it did.

Natsume was sometimes not even sure which was more painful, the toll his Alice was taking on his body or the hand that was crushing his heart from the moment Mikan walked away from him and never came back.

A gentle knock on the door pulled him from his reverie, but he didn't budge from his seat.

"It's open."

He heard the door opened and closed before a voice followed, "Why aren't you dressed yet?"

He didn't even look at his bestfriend when he answered bluntly, "I'm not going."

"What do you mean you're not going?" Ruka walked to Natsume hoping he just heard his friend wrong, but was disappointed upon seeing the decided look on his face.

"Natsume,"

Natsume hated it—that pity tone he heard from Ruka. He also had the same tone after Natsume told him he met with Tetsuya a few weeks ago.

"Are you sure you don't want to attend the Ball?"

"Positive," was his simple reply.

Ruka still pushed. "You wouldn't have to dance with anyone—not that you ever did."

He, then, eyed the blonde-boy, "Is that supposed to encourage me?"

Ruka ignored that, "Are you seriously just going to sulk here all night?"

He gritted his teeth, "I'm not sulking."

"Sure, and I'm dancing with joy," the blonde-boy replied sarcastically. "Come on. For all we know the dance will do you good."

"I doubt it," he said shaking his head. "Other than I don't dance, I don't think I'll enjoy seeing her dance with someone else."

"Then why did you give her away?" Ruka replied, suddenly exasperated.

"I didn't have to give her away, she wasn't mine in the first place," Natsume said matching his tone. "Besides, weren't you the one lecturing me on being selfish and having too much pride?"

Ruka seemed to think about that, "Remind me not to give you anymore advice, especially on love."

He sneered, "I thought I have been doing that this whole time."

Ruka decided to, again, ignore his comment, "So that's why you'll just be here sulking?"

"For the last time, I'm not sulking," he then looked away, looked out the window and caught a glimpse of a couple walking out of the building, hand in hand. Yome and Nonoko.

He sighed. Even Yome seemed to have made love and relationship work for him, despite his difficulties and struggles caused by his Alice.

"Look, Ruka," he said turning his attention back to his friend—trying to ignore the envy he suddenly felt from seeing the couple below. "I appreciate your concern. I really do. But why don't you just go? I'm sure Imai has been wondering where you are and why you're not there fetching her lobster and punch."

"Fine," Ruka surrendered, also knowing his last statement about Hotaru was true. "I'll leave you—for now. But promise me one thing."

Natsume raised a brow, uncertain.

"Think about going to the Ball."

"I've already thought about it."

"Just consider it for a minute."

"Fine," he finally agreed just to satisfy his friend, though he already knew that at that moment, he would rather face Hades than see Mikan and Kimura together.

However, Ruka seemed convinced. He turned to leave and started for the door, but before he closed it, he stopped.

"Hey, Natsume," Trust Ruka to always leave some words of wisdom just before he exits his room. "What do you think Mikan meant when she said, 'don't act like a jealous boyfriend when you don't have the guts to be one'?"

Natsume seemed to be frozen from where he sat.

"Just wondering," Ruka shrugged, and smiled. "Well, see you!"

That was that, and he closed the door, leaving Natsume deep in thoughts.

.

.

There was a continuous flow of food and drinks at the Ball.

Music was blasting through the big speakers located in every corner of the dance floor. The organizers finally allowed more modern music to be played in events like the Sakura Festival Ball. This decision proved to be wise when the dance floor was hardly empty ever since the Ball commenced about an hour ago.

"Why aren't you dancing?" Sumire asked her friends when she went back to their table to catch a breath and drink some punch. She has been one of the permanent occupants of the dance floor ever since they got there. Even though she didn't have an escort, she had a whole line-up of dance partners to fill that void. "This isn't a 'dance' for nothing."

"Sumire is right," Nonoko agreed, and then pulled Yome from his seat. "Let's dance."

The poor Mind-reader didn't even have the chance to protest, leaving his friends laughing after them.

Mochu cleared his throat and offered a hand to Anna, "Shall we?"

The pink-haired girl blushed, but took his hand and followed the previous couple to the dance floor.

"Hotaru," Ruka started facing his girlfriend, who was busy picking on the lobster in front of her.

She faced him briefly and just seriously said, "Don't even think about it."

He just shrugged and placed a newly refilled glass of punch near her.

Mikan watched all this in wonder. Had she been too busy being absorbed with her own dilemma that she didn't even notice how her friends were having their own happy ending, or at least living their own fairytale?

If only things could be easier for her.

"Would you like to dance, Mikan?" Iinchou, who was sitting next to her, pulled her from her thoughts.

She gave him a smile and replied, "Maybe later."

"Okay," he smiled back.

Mikan briefly wondered if Iinchou was seeing anyone. She heard from their friends that he also went on a date during Valentine's Day, but who the mystery girl was, still, remained a mystery.

She was going to ask him, when suddenly Sumire's squeal caught her attention.

"Tetsuya!"

The red-head greeted them all with a smile and a wave. They all greeted him back, except for Hotaru who barely glanced away from her food.

"She loves lobster," Ruka explained in a quiet gesture, earning him a not-so-gentle kick on the shin, leaving the rest of the table laughing.

"I see the Technology Ability class did very well with the lights on the dance floor," Tetsuya complimented, but received no reply from Hotaru.

Sumire cleared her throat shifting the attention to her.

"How about a dance, Tetsuya?"

He looked at Sumire slightly surprised with the invitation. He uncomfortably looked at Mikan, and said, "I was gonna…" He stopped mid-sentence, seemed to have changed his mind.

Mikan gave him a smile understandingly.

Tetsuya turned his gaze back to the waiting Sumire beside him, and flashed his sweetest smile, "Well, why not?"

Her eyes widened, obviously did not expect him to accept her invitation. She even looked at the hand he was offering before putting her own on top of it. Her smile grew from ear to ear as they walked towards the chaos that was the dance floor.

"That's interesting," Ruka, Mikan and Iinchou looked at Hotaru at the same time. She was gently wiping her lips with a napkin, an indication that she was done with her dinner.

"What's interesting?" Ruka asked.

Hotaru took her time in placing the napkin back on the table, and then turned to him with narrowed eyes. "It's interesting that you haven't refilled my drink yet."

He gave her a nervous laugh in response.

When he still didn't budge, Hotaru's eyes became narrower until they were just slits.

"Right," was all he said before getting her empty glass and called Iinchou to go with him.

Before leaving though, to Mikan's surprise, Ruka planted a kiss on Hotaru's cheek, winked at her and said, "We'll be right back."

Iinchou was scratching his head as he and Ruka walked towards the make-shift bar.

"Remind me not to cross Hotaru while she's eating," Mikan heard him say just before they went out of ear shot, to which Ruka only laughed in reply.

Out of all the couples Mikan had seen and, in a way, observed, Ruka and Hotaru, by far, had the oddest relationship. She sometimes wondered how Ruka can put up with the shifting mood of her bestfriend. Also, she couldn't seem to recall Hotaru being affectionate to him, and still the blonde-boy never seemed to mind.

Mikan felt that tug of envy in her heart.

Odd couple indeed, but they made it work—almost effortlessly.

"You're not planning to brood all night, are you?"

She was tempted to stick out her tongue, and risk being called childish again, but just resolved to ignoring her friend when a certain raven-haired boy popped in her head.

She hasn't seen him in days, and after her conversation with Tetsuya the day before, it took all her energy to keep herself from banging on his door and demanding him to admit his feelings for her.

She would let him be. She would give him more time—until tonight.

But, so far, there has been no sign of the Black Cat making an appearance on the Ball.

.

.

It took Natsume two hours and a half since Ruka left him in his room to decide to attend the Ball. Another thirty minutes staring at his wardrobe trying to consider what he should wear. And yet another hour to finally get himself to the Festival Ball, scolding himself along the way, convinced he was making a mistake.

He already made a lot of mistakes, he argued to himself. Another night won't really make much of a difference.

Although he couldn't fully comprehend what Ruka had said before leaving his room almost four hours ago, that made him curious enough to finally decide to go.

If he was going to see the love of his life happy with another guy, at least he would know that he did the right thing, by letting her be with Kimura.

_Yes, this is just assurance that I don't have to burn that red-head's butt to ashes._

That red-head, however, was leaving the Ball—alone.

_Where is he going? _Natsume felt his temper rising. _Is he leaving Mikan? It's not even the Last Dance yet._

"Kimura!" he called. The red-head halted and turned to him, surprised.

"You're here," he stated, ignoring the dangerous stare the Black Cat was throwing him. "I thought you'd never show up."

"Where do you think you're going?"

"You better go in," Tetsuya definitely heard the threat in his question, but still ignored it. "You're just in time."

Natsume's brows furrowed, "In time for what?"

Then he heard it, "Lastly, Sakura Mikan. Who would you ask for your last dance, Mikan?"

Natsume froze, looked at Kimura, who was giving him a knowing smile.

.

.

Everyone thought Mikan was going to ask Tetsuya Kimura for the Last Dance, but they were all surprised to hear her reply to the emcee's question.

"Natsume Hyuuga."

Whispers began in the crowd the moment she said his name.

Even the emcee was a little uneasy when he repeated his name, calling to the crowd, "Natsume Hyuuga, please come to the stage."

Whispers turned to a commotion now.

"Second call for Natsume Hyuuga," the emcee called again. "Is Natsume Hyuuga here?"

Mikan was losing hope at this point. He didn't come.

She heard someone approached the emcee and whispered just that.

"I see," the emcee said before speaking to the microphone again. "It seems Natsume didn't attend the Ball."

"Poor girl," someone from the crowd commented.

"That's what you get from being ambitious," another girl's voice said.

"Requesting a dance from Natsume," a third girl added. "So embarrassing."

Mikan saw out of the corner of her eyes, Ruka held Hotaru in place. Surely her bestfriend would very much want to hit those annoying girls with her Baka Gun.

But they were right. What was she thinking asking for Natsume?

Despite what Tetsuya told her yesterday, it didn't mean that Natsume can't change his mind.

"Would you like to request for someone else, Mikan?" the emcee asked with obvious pity in his voice.

"No, thanks," Mikan shook her head, feeling the hot sting of tears in her eyes. "It's fine. I'll just probably sit this one out."

"Okay," he agreed. "It's your choice."

"Wait!" she heard a loud gasp from the audience. "You don't have to do that."

"No, really," Mikan sighed. "I'm fine."

She started to walk away, oblivious on how still everyone seemed to have become.

"But I thought you wanted to dance with me?"

She stopped, eyes wide. She finally recognized that deep voice.

She slowly turned bracing herself, and her tear-clouded eyes met the flame-red ones. The ones she thought before as cold, even if they were like burning fire. Now, however, those same eyes were filled with anticipation and hope for her acceptance.

Natsume walked towards her and stopped with merely a breathing space between them.

"I know I was late, but would you still have me?"

Mikan cleared her eyes by wiping it with the back of her hand. She wanted to be sure that she wasn't just imagining this moment.

She smiled at him, convinced that it was all real, "Better late than never."

She accepted the hand he offered, and he led her down to the dance floor.

The song for the Last Dance started.

_I get a feeling, I can't explain_

_Whenever your eyes meet mine_

_My heart spins in circles, and I lose all space and time_

_And now that we're standing face to face_

_Something tells me it's gonna be okay_

Natsume linked her hands at the back of his neck, and then locked his at the small of her back.

As they started to sway to the music, he saw the smiling faces of their friends as they did the same.

He knew after tonight, he'd never hear the end of it, especially from Ruka.

_But it's all worth it._

"I love this song," he heard Mikan whispered.

He pulled her closer to him, and whispered back, "Me, too."

No more words were exchanged after that. The song said it all for them.

_That I'm ready to fall in love tonight._

_Ready to hold my heart open wide._

_I can't promise forever, but, baby, I'll try._

'_cause I'm ready to fall in love tonight._

_

* * *

_**_Author's Notes:_ **_Is it a happy ending? Check the Epilogue to find out..._


	18. Kindly Unspoken

**Ready To Fall**

**

* * *

Epilogue: Kindly Unspoken**

- # -

_Kindly unspoken you show your emotions_

_Silence speaks louder than words_

_It's lucky I'm clever_

_If I didn't know better_

_I'd believe only that which I've heard_

_-'Kindly Unspoken' by Kate Voegele-_

- # -

**

* * *

No more cold and empty nights… hopefully…**

.

The whole Academy woke up late after the successful night of Sakura Festival Ball.

.

Students only started to flock the Dining Hall just before lunch was served. The dorm staff seemed to have expected this, since they only served brunch that day instead of breakfast.

"That was some night," Sumire announced before biting into her chicken sausage.

"I'd have to second that," Mochu said gesturing towards the couple at the end of the table, which made everyone smile knowingly.

"You're always doing that," Natsume complained to the brunette sitting beside him. They were both oblivious to their friends watching them.

"Sharing is more enjoying," said Mikan, finally back to her energetic self. She has been placing half the content of her plate to his, and half the content of his to hers.

"Why don't you just get if directly from my plate?" he asked, slightly annoyed.

"But that's your plate," she pouted.

He smirked, "Not like it ever stopped you before."

"Fine," she picked a strip of bacon from his plate and bit into it animatedly.

"Here," Natsume pushed the slice of cheesecake towards her.

When she only looked at it, he asked, "Don't you want the cake?"

"But that's your cake," she said.

Natsume just sighed, "Sharing is more enjoying."

Mikan smiled satisfied, and picked up a fork. But before she could slice into the cake, she noticed that everyone in the table has stopped eating.

Natsume also noticed that when she turned to them.

"What?" he asked.

They all looked in awe, but still smiling.

It was Ruka who spoke, "Who are you and what did you do to Natsume?"

"Quit it," he said eyeing his bestfriend dangerously. "Unless you want your potatoes charred."

Ruka, however, just laughed at his threat, and everyone followed.

"I guess you don't find Mikan annoying anymore. Right, Natsume?" Yome asked still laughing.

Natsume turned to Mikan, who just smiled back at him, waiting for an answer.

"Who said she's not annoying?" he, then, stood and walked away.

Everyone was suddenly silent, except for the brunette who was enjoying herself with the slice of cheesecake he left.

"I love cheesecake," she even said, making their friends a little confused.

.

.

"So I'm still annoying?"

Mikan found Nastume under the Sakura Tree—under_ their _tree—with his eyes closed, dozing off.

He squinted when he tried to open his eyes due to the sunlight framing the brunette standing in front of him, hands on her hips.

"You're always annoying," he answered casually and closed his eyes again.

"Why do you dislike me?"

Natsume opened his eyes, surprised with the question. He was also surprised to find her sitting near him, like a small kid, hands on her knees and chin on top of them.

"I never said I dislike you,"

"But…" she urged. She knew there's a 'but' there somewhere.

"You are noisy, stupid, and, yes, annoying," he obliged. "But it doesn't mean I dislike you."

There was silence as she seemed to chew on that.

"But," she hesitated, looked down. "Do you… do you like me then?"

Natsume shifted and reached for her arm. He pulled her to him, making her land on his lap.

Mikan giggled, but was silenced when he kissed her.

He let out a laugh when she sighed as their lips parted.

"Does that answer your question?"

Mikan tilted her head to the side, and placed a finger on her chin considering, "I'm sorry. Was that a yes or a no?"

Natsume shook with laughter, making the brunette in his arms smile at his reaction.

He then looked at her, with traces of laughter still in his eyes, "You are really annoying."

She leaned closer to him, wrapping her arms around his neck "And you find it charming."

"That's pushing it," he said, but added, when his lips were mere breathes away from hers. "But I do find it charming."

Her warmth enveloped him as he closed the gap between their lips, and lost themselves in the kiss.

Natsume could only wish he would never have to lose this warmth ever again.

* * *

**_Author's Notes:_ **_I think I'm gonna cry. It's finally finished. After how many years, I can finally change its status to completed._

_It has been a journey for me. I hope you all enjoyed it and hope for more Natsume-Mikan stories from me. _

_At this point, I won't make any promises, but I really want to do at least 2 more. I guess I'll just have to cross my fingers._

_Thanks again, everyone! I'll keep you posted :D  
_


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